# masturbation in space **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [November 28, 2003, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698 "2003-11-28T07:51:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zardoz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a8b319/32.png) [@Zardoz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zardoz)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/21 "2003-11-29T02:26:48Z")
I don’t know about Roughing the Suspect, but I could’ve sworn NASA sent up a married couple about 10 or so years ago to experiment the feasability of sex in space. Cecil’s didn’t mention this in his column, so it’s very hush hush or I have really powerful dreams. ---
**Author:** ![Z\_Al](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/41988e/32.png) [@Z\_Al](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Z_Al)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/22 "2003-11-29T02:27:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Earthling \* > \*\*Well, there _are_ people who believe that we’re descended from aliens who **came** from outer space. \*\* LOL! This thread is a classic. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/23 "2003-11-29T03:46:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Matchka \* > \*\*Can’t do that! What if the gunk landed on some planet somewhere and evolved? How could you EVER get the decendants to believe their creation story? \*\* I once started a MPSIMS thread about how since astronauts jettison their bodily wastes, that it’s entirely possible that life some day could evolve on some distant world from [astronaut poo.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=123243) ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/24 "2003-11-29T05:32:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vandal \* > \*\*Can’t they just masturbate into the urine receptacle? Then jettison the ejaculate out into space? \*\* Could become a problem… [Space Seed](http://www.startrek.com/startrek/view/series/TOS/episode/68708.html) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Long\_Road](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@The\_Long\_Road](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Long_Road)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/25 "2003-11-29T07:16:53Z")
More research into this area could solve NASA’s budget problems. Imagine porn filmed in space which could be viewed on NASA’s website for a fee. Porn, the Internet and space exploration all wrapped in one. The money shot would take on a whole new dimension. Ever see the episode of the Simpsons where Homer is flying around grabbing chips with his mouth? Porn stars could be flying around swallowing…ok, you get the idea. Porn has been a factor in driving so much technlogy like VCRs and the Internet, why not harness it to help space exploration? ---
**Author:** ![stardust2k4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/57b2e6/32.png) [@stardust2k4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stardust2k4)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/26 "2003-11-29T09:06:02Z")
O\_O oh my! ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/27 "2003-11-29T15:01:01Z")
. . . Does anyone else go, “Masturbation . . . in . . . _SPAAAAACE_” everytime they read the OP? . . . ---
**Author:** ![wolfstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d6d6ee/32.png) [@wolfstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfstu)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/28 "2003-11-29T15:35:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*I once started a MPSIMS thread about how since astronauts jettison their bodily wastes, that it’s entirely possible that life some day could evolve on some distant world from [astronaut poo.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=123243) \*\* Yeah, this thread is just itching to be hijacked into a discussion of _panspermia_. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Laughing\_Lagomorph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laughing_Lagomorph)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/29 "2003-11-29T15:47:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zardoz \* > \*\*I don’t know about Roughing the Suspect, but I could’ve sworn NASA sent up a married couple about 10 or so years ago to experiment the feasability of sex in space. Cecil’s didn’t mention this in his column, so it’s very hush hush or I have really powerful dreams. \*\* Snopes seems to think that is an urban legend: [http://www.snopes.com/risque/tattled/shuttle.htm](http://www.snopes.com/risque/tattled/shuttle.htm) Damn you, **wolfstu** , for stealing my panspermia joke. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/30 "2003-11-29T16:43:22Z")
This is why I love GQ: Space seed and nukes, all in one day. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/31 "2003-11-29T16:56:05Z")
> [@](#): > > How could you EVER get the decendants to believe their creation story? 😃 There’ve been quite a few giggle-inducing threads today. ---
**Author:** ![peritrochoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/32 "2003-11-29T17:06:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*I once started a MPSIMS thread about how since astronauts jettison their bodily wastes, that it’s entirely possible that life some day could evolve on some distant world from [astronaut poo.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=123243) \*\* Ehh … actually only the liquid waste is jettisoned. Solid waste is literally sucked through a ‘flinger’ that deposits it on the walls of a collection chamber, where it is carried back to earth. Here’s a [link](http://www.abc.net.au/science/slab/shuttle/nature.htm) about how it works. I’ve seen a better explanation with diagrams, but I can’t find it at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![Redsland](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9de0a6/32.png) [@Redsland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redsland)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/33 "2003-11-29T17:11:39Z")
I’m in space right now, if you know what I mean. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/34 "2003-11-29T17:17:39Z")
In space, no one can hear you come. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/35 "2003-11-29T18:59:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by peritrochoid \* > \*\*Ehh … actually only the liquid waste is jettisoned. Solid waste is literally sucked through a ‘flinger’ that deposits it on the walls of a collection chamber, where it is carried back to earth. Here’s a [link](http://www.abc.net.au/science/slab/shuttle/nature.htm) about how it works. I’ve seen a better explanation with diagrams, but I can’t find it at the moment. \*\* That’s the shuttle (the most complicated machine ever built has a toilet where the _shit’s supposed to hit the fan!_), the Apollo (and earlier) missions were quite different (I’m not sure about Skylab). The astronauts had a plastic baggie that looked like a top hat that they used. The “brim” of the hat had an adhesive on it, which allowed it to cover the astronaut’s rectum so that there’d be little danger of leakage. The astronaut would then reach around and _pull_ the fecal matter into the bag. Once he finished, he’d seal the bag and dispose of it. I’ve no idea if they jettisoned theirs into space, but IIRC, the lander crews dumped theirs on the Moon before leaving. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/36 "2003-11-29T19:18:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Long Road \* > \*\*More research into this area could solve NASA’s budget problems. Imagine porn filmed in space which could be viewed on NASA’s website for a fee. Porn, the Internet and space exploration all wrapped in one. The money shot would take on a whole new dimension. Ever see the episode of the Simpsons where Homer is flying around grabbing chips with his mouth? Porn stars could be flying around swallowing…ok, you get the idea. Porn has been a factor in driving so much technlogy like VCRs and the Internet, why not harness it to help space exploration? \*\* Well, it’d cost $40 million just to get your stars into space (you could only send 2 up at one time, and both of them would have to go back home before you could send the next set up), then you’d need a camera, some way of mounting it in microgravity (though I imagine one of the crew would be _happy_ to volunteer to be the cameraman, if he’d been up there long enough), and you’d no doubt have to keep all of this _secret_ until _after_ the pair were launched. NASA got all pissy about Dennis Tito being up there, I’m sure that they’d have _kittens_ if you tried to send Ron Jeremy and Asia Carrera up together. ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/37 "2003-11-29T20:50:37Z")
Surely the problem isn’t what to do with the end result but rather how, in zero gravity, you get a decently paced ‘shuffle’ going in the first place? Is that the ultimate definition of frustration? ---
**Author:** ![Earthling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/90db22/32.png) [@Earthling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthling)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/38 "2003-11-29T22:04:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by peritrochoid \* > **Solid waste is literally sucked through a ‘flinger’ that deposits it on the walls of a collection chamber** Flinging poo…So, _that’s_ why we sent monkeys up into space. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/39 "2003-11-29T22:14:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Earthling \* > \*\*Well, there _are_ people who believe that we’re descended from aliens who **came** from outer space. \*\* I’m waiting for someone to discover an eons-old alien condom at the bottom of the ocean. Give creationists more to worry about. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Long\_Road](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5a626/32.png) [@The\_Long\_Road](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Long_Road)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698/40 "2003-11-29T22:33:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*Well, it’d cost $40 million just to get your stars into space (you could only send 2 up at one time, and both of them would have to go back home before you could send the next set up), then you’d need a camera, some way of mounting it in microgravity (though I imagine one of the crew would be _happy_ to volunteer to be the cameraman, if he’d been up there long enough), and you’d no doubt have to keep all of this _secret_ until _after_ the pair were launched. NASA got all pissy about Dennis Tito being up there, I’m sure that they’d have _kittens_ if you tried to send Ron Jeremy and Asia Carrera up together. \*\* OK, first, Ron Jeremy would probably be over the weight limit. He is not exactly slim and slender. Now that you mention NASA having issues with this, I agree that NASA would not go for it. The Russians would be the ones to do this. They can send the two people up on a supply mission for the Space Station. The Russians can do it cheaper and don’t seem to have a hang-up about non-cosmonauts taking a ride. As for the camera, it sure seems like there is always plenty of footage of the people from the shuttle. What would get better ratings, a bunch of braniacs floating around with their hair looking all crazy or two people gettin busy in zero G? Sadly, the movie title _Spaceballs_ is already taken but I am sure there are plenty of catchy titles just waiting to be thought up Hell, look at the money spent on the space station which is doing basically nothing right now. Imagine if they added a chamber for paying customers to have an orgy. The thing would pay for itself and turn a profit in no time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation-in-space/215698.md?page=3)