# Masturbation **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 27, 2000, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753 "2000-06-27T18:54:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_gunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@The\_gunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_gunslinger)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/1 "2000-06-27T18:54:40Z")
Main Entry: mas·tur·ba·tion Pronunciation: "mas-t&r-'bA-sh&n Function: noun Date: 1766 : erotic stimulation especially of one’s own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies And we all know we do it. Hell I do it at least twice a day _hangs the Pathetic sign around his neck_ But am I taking the one handed ride to Hell? Most would argue yes. Am I merely keeping myself from getting into more trouble (ie, STD’s, pregnancy, heartache, blueballs, etc.,)? Some would say yes. One would lose her job for it. You know who I’m talking about. Damned if my lack of proper information doesn’t make me sound like an idiot YET again. Maybe the true answer is as simple as this…‘abstinence’ I can think of something, no someone, that doesn’t like the sound of that. Perhaps I’ll stop rambling for now. Who’s to say you don’t think sex in general should be banished from the school systems, Television, and all media? Confined to close quarters and done sysytematically for the greater good/bad of society? Anyways… I HAVE SPOKEN!!! ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/2 "2000-06-27T19:01:25Z")
do you enjoy masturbation? Then do it. It’s not pathetic, it’s THE WHOLE POINT. ---
**Author:** ![Aglarond](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c77e96/32.png) [@Aglarond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aglarond)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/3 "2000-06-27T19:04:54Z")
If you’re going to hell for it, 99% of the rest of us guys are going, too. That’s a lot of people. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/4 "2000-06-27T20:00:01Z")
Doesn’t it strike anyone else funny that a thread about masturbation was started by someone with the username The Gunslinger? At least I’m not going to hell with the rest of you. Now that I’m divorced, I have sex on a regular basis. 🙂 Well, OK, maybe I _am_ going to hell - just not on a masturbation charge 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/5 "2000-06-27T20:07:55Z")
I wouldn’t worry about it sending you to hell. After all, do you wanna be the only person in heaven? I mean, I’d like to go to heaven, but I’d rather stay with my friends. Especially you guys of the SDMB. See ya’ll there! ---
**Author:** ![KimKatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ac91a4/32.png) [@KimKatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KimKatt)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/6 "2000-06-27T20:11:19Z")
Hell? I’ve got my seat all picked out. Right in front of the fireplace. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/7 "2000-06-27T20:18:34Z")
If masturbation is something God would send you to hell for, he wouldn’t have made your arms reach nor made it feel good. ---
**Author:** ![Ozone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/e95f7d/32.png) [@Ozone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ozone)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/8 "2000-06-27T20:20:12Z")
They say that 80% of people confess to masturbation. The other 20% are just lying about it. I think that’s a true statement. When did masturbation become such a taboo topic? Why is it considered such a bad thing? If we weren’t supposed to “feel” that good, why were we given the tools? (no pun intended) 😉 Anyone who tells you they don’t is full of shit, or just too embarrassed to admit it. Girls, boys, men, women, whoever. Unless you have a medical condition that makes it impossible, you do it, you know you do it, we all do it, so what’s the big deal? Besides, who knows the “right” place to rub you better than **YOU**??? Ever notice how you can spend an hour having sex, but you can get the job done in a minute or two with “Rosey Palm”?? 😉 Have fun with it. I don’t know of any biblical laws you’re breaking… ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/9 "2000-06-27T20:36:36Z")
Masturbation is God’s way of keeping ugly men’s testicles from exploding. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/10 "2000-06-27T20:42:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Hell? > > I’ve got my seat all picked out. Right in front of the fireplace. > \*\* I’ll bring the marshmallows!!! ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/11 "2000-06-27T20:45:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\* > > Hell? > > > > I’ve got my seat all picked out. Right in front of the fireplace. > > \*\* > > I’ll bring the marshmallows!!! > \*\* _ **???** _ ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/12 "2000-06-27T20:47:32Z")
I love jerking off. I really, really do. It’s one of the better things about being human. It is. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/13 "2000-06-27T20:47:56Z")
That is just guns your slinging, right? ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/14 "2000-06-27T20:48:36Z")
Yeah, what the hell (sorry about the pun) in the Bible proscribes masturbation? Onan got in trouble because God said, “IMPREGNATE THIS WOMAN!” and instead, Onan pulled out early. WTF does this have to do with masturbation? IMHO, if our society wasn’t so torqued up about sex in general and self-pleasure (I hate to use a term that means “to defile with the hand”) in particular, I think we’d have a lot fewer teen pregnancies, STDs, etc. That is total opinion, I don’t have a cite, but come on (sorry again!), doesn’t it make sense? ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/15 "2000-06-27T20:50:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I love jerking off. I really, really do. It’s one of the better things about being human. It is. > \*\* Just imagine if we were dogs, we could lick ourselves too! I’d never leave the house. ---
**Author:** ![vandal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/858c86/32.png) [@vandal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vandal)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/16 "2000-06-27T21:53:41Z")
Shit, man, just whack. Everyone does it. ---
**Author:** ![magdalene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df788c/32.png) [@magdalene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magdalene)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/17 "2000-06-27T22:06:58Z")
sex on a regular basis & frequent masturbation is not mutally exclusive, is it? Especially if you’re a chick. Like me. OK, I’m not currently getting any, but even when I am it never slows me down. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/18 "2000-06-27T23:54:16Z")
Nope, it doesn’t. I’ve been known to have sex and jerk off, several times each, in a day. Ok, I’m 18, but still… ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2000, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/19 "2000-06-27T23:59:03Z")
It is good for your prostate, but you kids don’t know about that yet. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753/20 "2000-06-28T00:02:38Z")
Is this thread supposed to end in a circle jerk? If so, I call between Minxmom and Falcon! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/masturbation/23753.md?page=2)