# Matchmakers of the world: piss off! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 8, 2015, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133 "2015-02-08T17:31:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CoastalMaineiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@CoastalMaineiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoastalMaineiac)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/21 "2015-02-09T20:01:41Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > The granddaughter’s a slut, man. > > Hit it and quit it. Not advisable. These people would definitely be the stereotypical “shotgun wedding” type family. They’re not quite on par with the snake handlers of Appalachia, but they’re pretty damn close—i.e.: essentially the same cult, minus the snakes. > [@Sitnam](#): > > Pitting an old lady who thinks you’re a good match for her granddaughter? > > The OP is such a badass. I’ve made it perfectly clear to these people, and many others, that I am happy to remain single for the rest of my life, and wish to retain as much liberty over my own affairs as nature and society allow. I have explained to them countless times that, while marriage may be bliss to them, it would be unbearable bondage to me. So yes, I pit people who can’t mind their own business and think they know what I want out of life better than I do. The age of those people is irrelevant. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/22 "2015-02-09T20:56:40Z")
Tell them you’re Catholic? And that you’ll marry her, but only if she converts. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/23 "2015-02-09T21:51:58Z")
And if that doesn’t work, the day before she receives her first batch of sacraments, tell her that you converted to Judaism while she was busy preparing to enter the Catholic Church, and now she has to start over. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2015, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/24 "2015-02-09T23:13:27Z")
The _dowry_ dude, use your head here. You might get 5 pigs, 10 chickens and a mule. You really want to turn that down? ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/25 "2015-02-10T01:17:35Z")
“You should marry my granddaughter” “Why? Does she like genital warts?” ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/26 "2015-02-10T02:18:28Z")
Am I the only one that looked that the thread title and saw ‘Watchmakers’? ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/27 "2015-02-10T02:29:05Z")
Is there no one else that could plant a seed about your unsuitability? Gambling, loose women (and men, why choose), drugs, other churches. You can’t say these things yourself, clearly. Someone else must poison the well. I married too young to join your pitting. The closest I can get is the constant barrage of “when will I get grand-children” that I got from my MIL. Which reminds me, I have got to start a thread on MILs. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Goob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c77e96/32.png) [@Mr.Goob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Goob)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/28 "2015-02-10T02:29:20Z")
Dammit, now I have the song from Fiddler on the Roof in my head. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/29 "2015-02-10T02:42:33Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > You might get 5 pigs, 10 chickens and a mule. Are they hot? ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/30 "2015-02-10T02:56:55Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > a mule It was a horse! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/31 "2015-02-10T06:55:43Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > And if that doesn’t work, the day before she receives her first batch of sacraments, tell her that you converted to Judaism while she was busy preparing to enter the Catholic Church, and now she has to start over. Or Islam. And that you believe in Sharia law. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/32 "2015-02-10T07:30:02Z")
Of all the things to be annoyed about, this ranks pretty low, right above someone offering me a cake I don’t particularly want to try. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/33 "2015-02-10T13:33:48Z")
> [@ddsun](#): > > The closest I can get is the constant barrage of “when will I get grand-children” that I got from my MIL. Which reminds me, I have got to start a thread on MILs. A friend of mine just found out that her daughter is seeing another woman, and was a little miffed. She said, probably jokingly, “What about grandkids?” and I had to point out to her that bi and gay women can still get pregnant… ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2015, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/34 "2015-02-10T13:54:51Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2015, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/35 "2015-02-18T14:44:55Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > Pitting an old lady who thinks you’re a good match for her granddaughter? > > The OP is such a badass. A crazy Pentacostal lady! Aren’t these the ones that handle snakes and speak in tongues? ---
**Author:** ![CoastalMaineiac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@CoastalMaineiac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CoastalMaineiac)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2015, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/36 "2015-02-18T19:12:14Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > A crazy Pentacostal lady! Aren’t these the ones that handle snakes and speak in tongues? As far as I know, there are no snakes, but they do speak in tongues. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2015, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/37 "2015-02-18T19:15:15Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Am I the only one that looked that the thread title and saw ‘Watchmakers’? _Blessed are the Cheesemakers, for they will inherit the Kingdom of Heaven._ ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2015, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/38 "2015-02-18T19:18:32Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > The granddaughter’s a slut, man. > > Hit it and quit it. The grandmother, too. Why d’you think she’s working so hard at the match ? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [February 18, 2015, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133/39 "2015-02-18T19:19:55Z")
> [@CoastalMaineiac](#): > > As far as I know, there are no snakes, but they do speak in tongues. Well then, definitely don’t stick dick in the crazy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/matchmakers-of-the-world-piss-off/712133.md?page=1)