# Math joke **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 16, 2002, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591 "2002-03-16T06:23:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591/21 "2002-03-17T14:34:27Z")
Um, that should have been “the left side of the **aisle** ”. Might as well post another one, pretty old one I admit: Why do programmers confuse Christmas and Halloween? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25. (Octal and decimal, that is.) ---
**Author:** ![Race\_Bannon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Race\_Bannon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Race_Bannon)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591/22 "2002-03-17T16:48:32Z")
Scr4, a person has to be pretty well mathematically educated to get those. I wish I had one, but I’ll just throw in a true anectdote. I recently took an exam in a graduate level course in Real Analysis. The professor was the head of the math department. He constructed the exam with the typical distribution of points - five for this problem, twenty for that one, etc. The total added up to 95 points. He had to give everyone 5 points for putting their name on the paper. I also took a finial exam in a probability course. Just for laughs, I took along a pair of those sharp edged, drilled through casino dice, and put them on the desk. For luck. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591/23 "2002-03-17T17:10:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Soup\_du\_jour \* > Taylor series jokes? I never thought I’d see the day… And Fourier (“furry A”) series jokes, too. And Pole-ish jokes that are too ‘complex’ to stoop to mere nationality or ethnicity. Two more moldy ones: Q. What’s purple and commutes? A. An abelian grape. Q. What’s yellow and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice? A. Zorn’s Lemon. ---
**Author:** ![Peregrine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a6a055/32.png) [@Peregrine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peregrine)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591/24 "2002-03-17T17:47:21Z")
Interesting Integer Theorem: All positive integers are interesting. Proof: Assume the contrary. Then there is a lowest non-interesting positive integer. But, hey, that’s pretty interesting! A contradiction. Q: What do you get if you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? A: You can’t cross a vector with a scalar. ---
**Author:** ![HerMajestyLorna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7cd45c/32.png) [@HerMajestyLorna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HerMajestyLorna)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591/25 "2002-03-17T18:14:01Z")
Oh, man, these are good! My sides ache from the hilarity!!! ( **Lorna** feels dumb because she understands none of these math jokes. Except the first one.) 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591/26 "2002-03-17T18:28:57Z")
Now that peregrine gave me “permission”, I can share this one… It actually is the first joke of a two joke combo, and peregrine’s is the second… Q: What do you get when you cross a zebra with an elephant? A: zebra\*elephant sin([symbol]Q[/symbol]) Q: What do you get when you cross a zebra with a mountain climber? A: see above… What is the integral from 0 to 1 of (1/cabin \* dcabin)? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591/27 "2002-03-17T19:10:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Spritle \* > What is the integral from 0 to 1 of (1/cabin \* dcabin)? Infinity. Q. What is the _indefinite_ integral of (1/cabin \* dcabin)? A. A houseboat. ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591/28 "2002-03-17T19:21:43Z")
Here’s an accessible one! What did the 0 say to the 8? Where DID you get that FABULOUS belt?:rolleyes: Why did the computer scientist dress up as Santa for Halloween? Because Oct 31 = Dec 25. Get it? Get it? I liked the one about Cauchy the dog, but only because I am deathly afraid of complex analysis. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591/29 "2002-03-17T19:35:12Z")
There are three kinds of people in the world: those that are good at math and those that aren’t. How different professions prove that all odd integers above 2 are prime: Mathematician: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, and by induction - every odd integer higher than 2 is a prime. Physicist: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is a prime,… Engineer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 is a prime, 11 is a prime,… Car salesman: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 – well, I don’t normally do this, but I talked to the boss and we can make it prime for you for today only. Computer Software Salesperson: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 will be prime in the next release,… Lawyer: 3 is a prime, 5 is a prime, 7 is a prime, 9 – the circuit court found that 11 is a prime and it is therefore a reasonable interpretation that 9 should be in this case as well. Statistician: Let’s try several randomly chosen numbers: 17 is a prime, 23 is a prime, 11 is a prime. We can deduce then, that all odd numbers are prime with a +/- 5% margin of error. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591/30 "2002-03-17T19:54:10Z")
Wow. I started a whole thread that’s going right over my head. Neat! ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591/31 "2002-03-17T21:41:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > **Q. What’s purple and commutes? > A. An abelian grape.** Even better: What’s purple, commutes, and is worshipped by a very small number of people? A finitely-venerated abelian grape. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ccd318/32.png) [@John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Kentzel-Griffin)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2002, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591/32 "2002-03-17T23:42:12Z")
**A Fable** Once upon a time there was a teacher who set his class an examination to perform. And when the youths had finished, he marked their scripts. But at the end of his labors he found that, by evil chance, he had worked with a total of 99. And, being an industrious man, he converted all the marks into percentages. So it was that a pupil with 58 marks gained 58.585858… per cent. And a pupil with 73 marks gained 73.737373… per cent, and the others likewise. And when the time was come that he should return the scripts to his class, being an honest man as well as an industrious, he confessed what he had done and delivered them their marks in the form of percentages. Until he came to one named Smith whose work was perfect, to whom perforce had had awarded the percentage 99.999999… per cent. “So, Smith Minor,” said he, “though I find no fault in you, yet your percentage falls short of the full total of 100. What say you?” “Sir,” saith Smith Minor, moved to anger, “I call that the limit.” from _The Mathematical Gazette_, vol 58, 1954 ---
**Author:** ![kdeustachio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/87869e/32.png) [@kdeustachio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kdeustachio)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2002, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591/33 "2002-03-18T01:47:07Z")
A troubled physics grad student faces a board of professors. They pepper him with questions, and midway through working out a lengthy problem, he comes up with: F = -ma He grins nervously and says, “Well, I seem to have made a little error somewhere.” And one of the professors replies: “Or an odd number of them.” kdeus “When you no longer get the jokes, it is time to change majors” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/math-joke/98591.md?page=1)