# May the rant be with you (May 2012 rant thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 1, 2012, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483 "2012-05-01T05:07:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![BetsQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BetsQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BetsQ)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/421 "2012-05-18T14:24:34Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Mixed marriage here: > Wife from Pacific Northwest said she hated stepping on slugs. > Husband from Non-Pacific Midwest: “You hated what? On _what_? What’s a slug? And why is it a big deal?” I assure you that there are \*\*plenty \*\*of slugs in the Midwest. _Shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/422 "2012-05-18T14:31:15Z")
> [@BetsQ](#): > > I assure you that there are \*\*plenty \*\*of slugs in the Midwest. _Shudder_ True, although having lived in both places (the PNW and the Midwest) I can attest that in the Midwest, you don’t often get full-on slug invasions of your home the way you tend to in, say, Seattle. It’s really pretty horrifying. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/423 "2012-05-18T14:45:43Z")
My great-nephew turned 2 yesterday so there was a little party for him. Everything went well and it was very pleasant. Shortly after everyone left we heard the little guy crying and his dad’s girlfriend say “You have to let me see…THERE’S A PIN UP HIS NOSE!!” Next thing I know the poor little kid is being rushed out the door to the hospital. I’m still waiting to hear how he’s doing. My rant: Why are small children so stupid?! “Oooh, here’s a pointy sharp shiny thing - I’m going to shove it up my nose. Ow it hurts…I’ll shove it up further. Waaahhh!!” I’m so happy I chose to be child-free. No way could I handle the constant stress of watching and worrying 24/7. ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/424 "2012-05-18T15:49:10Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > My rant: Why are small children so stupid?! “Oooh, here’s a pointy sharp shiny thing - I’m going to shove it up my nose. Ow it hurts…I’ll shove it up further. Waaahhh!!” They’re not stupid they are learning! Plus adults can be pretty inquisitive, too. [Relevant thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=209087) ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/425 "2012-05-18T16:02:20Z")
> [@perfectparanoia](#): > > They’re not stupid they are learning! Plus adults can be pretty inquisitive, too. I know. I just wish that they could be born with common sense and save themselves and us the stress. 😉 Apparently the pin managed to work it’s way up his nose, into his sinus, down his throat, and was nestled in his stomach among all the birthday cake. They’re still at the hospital waiting for the food to digest so they can get the pin out. Imagine trying to keep an active little two-year-old still so the damn thing doesn’t shift too much in there. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/426 "2012-05-18T17:15:56Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > He’s on prescription food for his kidneys already, and has been for years. (Science Diet for beasties prone to crystals in urine. I guess it works, he hasn’t had a problem since he’s been on it.) He only gets dry food, but his appetite isn’t really diminished. Meaning, he’s right _there_ when I put the food out. The last week or so he’s been leaving a few kibbles behind each feeding, but that’s not enough to account for the weight loss. I also have a fountain. > > The vet said this test is a combination; it checks the thyroid but also checks kidney and liver functions and some blood counts. As I said, we’re hoping it gives us some clues. I suspect that we need to up his dosage a little. He’s currently on a half-tablet once a day. > > He seems to be perfectly happy. Loves laying in the sun, purrs like a motorboat if I carry him up to my bed at night (sometimes he joins me there on his own). And you are right, he is very beloved. Our 16 year old cat is quite skinny, but she eats all the time. She has arthritis that is well-controlled with glucosamine supplements, but other than that, her bloodwork comes back all normal. I think she has a case of being 16 years old - that’s what, 85 in human years? It seems that cats sometimes just get skinny when they get old. But good for you for getting it checked out.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/427 "2012-05-18T17:19:16Z")
My night vision is just about completely shot. I used to enjoy going out at night, closing out the book shop, then going to an all night diner to gloat over my new books. Nowadays (or is that nowanights?) I don’t dare venture onto the roads after dark unless I know that the entire route will be well lighted. I just can’t see. This is damned dangerous for me and everyone else on the road. Also might be dangerous for people on the sidewalks, too. I feel like a little kid again, one who isn’t allowed out after 6 PM. The thing is, though, I’m not sure that I’ll ever be able to drive at night again. Dammit dammit dammit. There’s a lot of things that end, or even start, after night falls. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/428 "2012-05-18T17:20:28Z")
Holy shit, **Soylent Juice**! He snuffed it up, inhaled it, and _swallowed_ it?!? How are they gonna get it out? Surgery? ETA: guess that makes you “Creature of the Day” now … ? ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/429 "2012-05-18T17:44:15Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Holy shit, **Soylent Juice**! He snuffed it up, inhaled it, and _swallowed_ it?!? How are they gonna get it out? Surgery? AFAIK they’re waiting for the birthday cake & dinner to pass through then they’ll go back in with a scope and try to get it out that way. I’ll give a call again tonight if I haven’t heard anything. Yeah I don’t know how it managed to go through his little system “upright” and not get lodged sideways somewhere. :eek: My current rant: Dear Birds, I love all of God’s creatures (even the slugs, LOL) but could you please try to aim AWAY from my Jeep when you fly & shit? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/430 "2012-05-18T18:26:39Z")
I Googled for a list of highest bridges in the world – in other words the biggest difference between the ground and the bridge. I used the term because if I Google the tallest bridge in the world I knew it was likely to refer to the difference between one section of the bridge and another. The most appropriate link in the results was List of Tallest Bridges in the world from Wiki. It had a link stating that it meant my latter definition. It said “this is not to be confused with the list of highest bridges in the world”. Gee, thanks, maybe my search coulda gone there in the first place. Cause that’s what I Googled for. ---
**Author:** ![jerseymule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jerseymule/32/3155_2.png) [@jerseymule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jerseymule)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/431 "2012-05-18T18:36:50Z")
> [@Motorgirl](#): > > Speaking of the smells of sickness, there’s someone (I hope not multiple someones) who leaves the ladies’ room at work smelling like putrid rotten fish. Really strong and _wrong_ smelling. I don’t know if it’s poop-related or vagina-related but it reeks and someone needs to see a doctor. We have a person like that at work who smells bad all the time _and_ is extremely overweight. She needs to _not_ wear such tight slacks. We can see every bulging blob of fat on her fat legs and fat butt. Looks especially bad in those light gray ones. And you can smell her coming from halfway across the room. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/432 "2012-05-18T23:14:14Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > My current rant: > Dear Birds, I love all of God’s creatures (even the slugs, LOL) but could you please try to aim AWAY from my Jeep when you fly & shit? Yours too, huh? I’ve found that keeping a shit-ton of food in the backyard (suet packs, suet pellets, mealworms, hot pepper oil-coated sunflower seed) keeps most of them out of the front yard and away from the driveway. Your flight paths may vary though. The lawn crew nicked my little black mission fig bush with a string trimmer. :mad: The spot is about an inch long, and appears to have removed just the outer bark…but this is a very tiny bush that I just planted. I can’t figure out why in the hell they were string trimming near it anyway; there’s plenty of pine straw around the base, which is still free from weeds or grass. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/433 "2012-05-18T23:55:11Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Our 16 year old cat is quite skinny, but she eats all the time. She has arthritis that is well-controlled with glucosamine supplements, but other than that, her bloodwork comes back all normal. I think she has a case of being 16 years old - that’s what, 85 in human years? It seems that cats sometimes just get skinny when they get old. > > But good for you for getting it checked out.🙂 He lost about 4 pounds this summer, which is why I took him in in August, I think, to have him checked out. Not that I was weighing him regularly, just that I could tell he was getting a \*lot \*easier to pick up than he had been. That’s when we found he had a thyroid problem. Mind you, I’d been controlling his food intake to slowly decrease his weight, but while that was about how much weight he needed to lose, he lost it way faster than I suspect is safe. He was down to 14.2 just before Christmas. Now he’s 13.6. The doc called this afternoon to say that the blood work is fine and that we’re not changing his dosage, but I’m worried about this additional weight loss. Right now I have a call in; the vet tech said that once there’s a thyroid problem the cats “don’t come back to what they were before,” and that’s fine, 13.6 is still a good weight for him, I just don’t want him to lose any \*more \*weight. Maybe I could add some kitten food to his kibble for some additional calories… ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/434 "2012-05-19T00:05:10Z")
Cluster fuck at the gas station after work today because some kid’s organization was doing a car wash thing out back. Cars backed up inside the place trying to get out on the other side. I walk out the door and am walking to my car and almost get runover by some stupid woman at the pump right outside the door, pulling forward and stopping (repeat) while looking off toward the street to her right (store on her left). Hey fuck for brains, don’t you think there might be people walking out of the door of this place? Besides the 8 million cars all around? Maybe a good idea to look in the direction your car is moving? I get in my car and start backing up. Some other clueless fuck, annoyed at waiting in the line of cars filing toward the exit, decides to go wide right around them and ends up stopping dead 3 feet behind my car because… well, because the fucking line of cars he’s trying to go around is merging into another line of cars with everyone headed for the one lane wide exit. Seriously, where the fucking hell did you think you were going? ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/435 "2012-05-19T00:19:39Z")
Those teen car washes are kind of creepy to me, anyway…the main attraction most of the time is underage girls in bikinis. _shudder_ Creepy, creepy, creepy… ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/436 "2012-05-19T00:54:43Z")
Just heard from the vet. He says the medicine only slows the weight loss, it doesn’t stop it. He says I can try adding some wet food for weight gain that they have and see if that helps. I thought the medicine was supposed to stabilize him at the weight he was at! He can’t keep losing weight … even if it’s slowed, he’ll waste away. ☹ ☹ ☹ ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/437 "2012-05-19T02:26:52Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > The lawn crew nicked my little black mission fig bush with a string trimmer. :mad: The spot is about an inch long, and appears to have removed just the outer bark…but this is a very tiny bush that I just planted. I can’t figure out why in the hell they were string trimming near it anyway; there’s plenty of pine straw around the base, which is still free from weeds or grass. Chuck a bit of honey on the nick and cover it for a couple of weeks - my go to plant first aid. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/438 "2012-05-19T03:36:11Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Those teen car washes are kind of creepy to me, anyway…the main attraction most of the time is underage girls in bikinis. _shudder_ Creepy, creepy, creepy… These were Jr High boys. Probably boy scouts or a sports team or something. I dunno, I never pay attention to that crap other than the inconvenience factor. ---
**Author:** ![Mom-of-Andrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/439 "2012-05-19T05:05:14Z")
We have to go to Ft. Worth tomorrow. We have to be there for a two-hour thing. The drive in will take considerably longer, so we were looking at doing something else to get the most out of the trip. We’ll have 'Lil Andrew, so I suggest the Ft. Worth Zoo (justifiably famous). Pop-of-Andrew says nope – the zoo is so big it needs to have a whole day devoted to it. I mention several seasonal cultural things, all free or nearly so. (He’s been bitching about the budget again lately). PoA says nope, too boring. Then I hit the Mother Lode. This weekend is ComicCon with featured guests Stan Lee, Patrick Stewart, Summer Glau and James Marsters, along with a supporting cast of zillions of worthy artists and actors. Will this suffice? Nope, says PoA. “If we go, I won’t want to leave for the \” So… you don’t want exciting or boring, you don’t want free or expensive. Got it. I’ll be in the car when you decide what we’re going to do. But realize I will be pissed if we drag the whole family on that long car trip and the only thing we do is fulfill our one obligation. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483/440 "2012-05-19T05:11:07Z")
Damn! I recommend something hard and heavy applied directly to his cranium, repeat as needed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/may-the-rant-be-with-you-may-2012-rant-thread/620483.md?page=23)