# "Maybe Attending" Muppets (Facebook) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 12, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610 "2009-06-12T22:32:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/1 "2009-06-12T22:32:11Z")
OK, if it’s a big, impersonal event, sure, check Maybe Attending as a passive aggressive form of not attending, I don’t care. But if I’ve carefully chosen the guest list and it’s an event that actually requires some advanced planning, please for the love of god, change your status as soon as you know one way or the other. How am I supposed to know how much food to buy for dinner if I have 4 attending and 6 maybe attending? The worst is the people who resolutely remain Maybe Attending despite several messages politely reminding them of the RSVP deadline. Look, I can see you on facebook chat, I can see that you’re writing on people’s walls, would it be so hard to check one fucking box and save me some drama? The first person to invent Facebook poke-in-the-eye will be a multi-billionaire. I’m imagining something like the closing scene from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/2 "2009-06-12T23:32:52Z")
This thread is seriously lacking in Muppet content. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2009, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/3 "2009-06-12T23:57:14Z")
Whenever this friend-of-a-friend that I totally detest’s roommate has a party (did that all make sense), I check “Not Attending” and leave it at that. I don’t need to be around them, they annoy the fuck out of me. And yet, my friends rag on me that it’s mean, because I am the only one that checks not attending and aw, can’t I be nice and maybe do maybe? It’s because of people like that, that the maybe function is ever popular. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/4 "2009-06-13T00:15:00Z")
I had to cancel on a really fun-sounding party because it’s tomorrow and it’s going to be in the high 90’s and I just got a cast on. I feel awful because I didn’t know I could come until a few days ago and it was a “we need the cash in advance because we’re ordering shirts plus food” thing, so I kind of was relieved that I couldn’t go. But I never get invited to anything and I was really looking forward to it. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/5 "2009-06-13T00:28:09Z")
Wait a minute… Were you inviting people to a Muppet Movie? Were you inviting people in Muppet costumes? Or is this something you young people are saying these days (bunch of fucking muppets!) \ You kids and your muppets these days! \ ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/6 "2009-06-13T02:02:00Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > I’m imagining something like the closing scene from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Where we all get up on stage and dance with Morris Day? ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/7 "2009-06-13T02:52:00Z")
If you have a real event with a carefully-chosen guest list, don’t use Facebook. It’s irritating. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/8 "2009-06-13T03:02:17Z")
I wouldn’t create a Facebook ‘event’ for anything under 20 people. It makes it seem too informal. It sounds like you’re planning a dinner party - that’s the sort of thing you plan by email, phone or private message, surely? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/9 "2009-06-13T06:23:51Z")
There are times when I appreciate being an Old Fart. The worst case was, after posting an Open Party invite (with thumb tacks and written by hand because Xeroxing was too expensive), a young lady arrived who was the TOTALLY FOXY ex-girlfriend of the guy across the hall, and she was wearing a PINK ANGORA SWEATER!\* And I was so smitten that I couldn’t remember her name. And I played Stupid so well that she left. - - There is some thread, a decade old, in which I relate some, but only SOME, of my triggers. Pink angora goes back to riding the bus in second grade. ---
**Author:** ![Elyanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5ac83/32.png) [@Elyanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elyanna)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/10 "2009-06-13T07:22:39Z")
I wouldn’t use Facebook for serious bizness. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/11 "2009-06-13T11:06:05Z")
> [@Shalmanese](#): > > The worst is the people who resolutely remain Maybe Attending despite several messages politely reminding them of the RSVP deadline. Talk about passive-aggressive. Look, they did RSVP, they checked “maybe” which is a response option in the software you’re using to organize the party. If you don’t want people to RSVP “maybe” use some other method of sending out invites. You have 6 maybes, call their asses or send them a message asking them to confirm whether or not they’ll be there _now_, because you need to buy food. Don’t “politely” remind them of the RSVP deadline, ask them the fucking question you want answered. Edited to add… by “send them a message” I mean a personal individual message, not some system generated reminder, talk to your guests. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/12 "2009-06-13T11:39:02Z")
I don’t understand the kids these days. Is this a real party with Facebook invites? Or some kind of online party? Can you throw a party on Facebook? Only partially kidding… ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/13 "2009-06-13T14:23:17Z")
Why the heck do they have a “maybe” option? It’s totally useless. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2009, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/14 "2009-06-13T17:03:47Z")
> [@whiterabbit](#): > > Why the heck do they have a “maybe” option? It’s totally useless. It’s not totally useless. It lets you know which of your friends are flaky and not worth inviting to future events. If you didn’t have the option, there’s a possibility that they just didn’t get the invite. ---
**Author:** ![Elyanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5ac83/32.png) [@Elyanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elyanna)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2009, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/15 "2009-06-14T01:14:02Z")
What we generally do is use Facebook events invites for very large and impersonal events, like concerts or book signings or come-one-come-all parties. Where a hard head-count isn’t needed–just a ball park figure if that. Where the invite list is anywhere from 50 to 200 people. I just don’t recommend using it for events where you need a head-count. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/16 "2009-06-15T15:22:00Z")
I’d consider a message like the following: “Hey, I’m sorry you won’t be able to make it to this party. Hopefully you can make it to the next one! Do let me know in advance: I like to buy the food a couple of days before the party.” And then I wouldn’t send it, but would rather fume quietly. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/17 "2009-06-15T15:54:52Z")
Man, am I the only one who uses the Maybe option? Say my friend sends out an invite to a bunch of us to go to a bar to watch a basketball game at a bar. I’d _like_ to go watch the basketball game, but I also have to write a memo on NATO expansion and read 200 pages on the education system in Ghana. Will I get any of this shit accomplished in time to go watch the basketball game? _Maybe._ But then I always add a note to the invite page saying “I have a ton of work to do, I hope I can make it.” If it’s a more formal event, where someone is actually buying food, I like to think I’d be a little more accurate about my intentions, though. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/18 "2009-06-15T16:35:58Z")
**Shalmanese** , \*don’t fucking use Facebook \*if you’re planning an intimate event where you need to know exactly who can attend. It’s your own damned fault. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/19 "2009-06-15T16:48:25Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > **Shalmanese** , \*don’t fucking use Facebook \*if you’re planning an intimate event where you need to know exactly who can attend. It’s your own damned fault. Seriously. If these people are worthy enough of your time and energy to invite them to your home and cook them a meal, they’re worth more than a freaking Facebook invitation. Make a phone call. Send a personal e-mail. Don’t be so damned lazy. Facebook communications are worth exactly the paper that they’re printed on. If someone thought that inviting me to something via some mass Facebook invitation application was sufficient for anything more than a casual “random people meeting for lunch” event, the friendship would be done. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2009, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610/20 "2009-06-15T17:53:05Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > Facebook communications are worth exactly the paper that they’re printed on. If someone thought that inviting me to something via some mass Facebook invitation application was sufficient for anything more than a casual “random people meeting for lunch” event, the friendship would be done. Wow, really? I might be mildly irritated about getting a Facebook invitation to a small, important event, but not enough to dump a friendship over it. People sure are touchy these days. ETA: And add me to the list of people who would like to know what muppets have to do with this situation. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-attending-muppets-facebook/499610.md?page=2)