# Maybe I really AM a sick individual! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 10, 2004, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-i-really-am-a-sick-individual/249695 "2004-06-10T20:17:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Craneop2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6bbea6/32.png) [@Craneop2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Craneop2)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-i-really-am-a-sick-individual/249695/1 "2004-06-10T20:17:14Z")
This morning I sat down at the computer to read a little dope while breakfast was cooking and got ready for another boring day. Just as I got settled a fly began to do his sworn duty, that is to pester the **hell** out of me. He flew around my head a few times then off to what appeared to be a “meeting place”. I watched as he then seemed to report back to somefly of importance that while I was 'NOT edible", I am a great source of amusement value. The meeting place was a window that the shade was raised. Evidently they liked a meeting room with a view. Flies it seems don’t care much for wet weather and as it had rained pretty hard here for the past few days they had moved the annual fly convention indoors this year. There must have been a couple dozen of the things holding on to the glass and staring wistfully at the now sun drenched back yard. Every so often one would be dispatched to verify what fly#1 had reported… Each time verifying his story of future hillarity with much glee. While this might be a fun game for _houseflyus pissemoffalot_, I soon grew weary of the festivities! I searched the house and could not find the fly swatter. I took a section of newspaper and rolled it into a tube and proceeded to bludgeon a few straglers to death with it. The flies soon realized that I was armed and the few straglers that were left high- tailed it back to the meeting place. For the sake of safety I decided not to attempt to beat the flies to death against the window. They seemed to understand this and would not venture away from the glass. AHA… Smart flies! I have a WEAPON OF MASS FLY DESTRUCTION!! I have a tube of fly tape. I went to the cabinet, unrolled a strip of the sticky ribbon ,and secured it to the bottom of the shade with the WMFD part hanging in front of the window. One of the flies was sent to investigate. It immediately became stuck. I pulled a chair over and watched with much satisfaction as he struggled to pull away from the sticky paper. I swear I heard somefly say “hey Mikey he likes it!!”, and a couple more flew over to partake in the feast that Mikey must be enjoying!! They got stuck as well. I sat and watched as these UNBELIVEABLY intelligent creatures(at least so it would seem as they always figure out ways to annoy me!), filed almost one by one onto the sticky strip. It was GREAT fun watching as they struggled and pulled at their tiny feet trying to extricate themselves! Sometimes one would try to help another out, but to no avail! For the most part it was one fly for himself. A few, I would guess probably be the generals and such, stayed put against the glass. I figure they were plotting a counter strategy, or maybe waiting for reinforcements. With a wave of my hand I scattered them airward and they flew RIGHT into my WMFD! It was a tough fought battle, I LOVED every second of it! I have won this particular battle,but SURELY not the war. There will be other brave flies to take up the cause in the days and weeks to come! I will not remove the WMFD. I will let it stand as a testament to all the flies that died here this morning. It may also serve as a detriment to all the flies in the future, that to attempt tyranny on this particular house is futile! I actually enjoyed this!! DAMN I gotta get a job!! ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-i-really-am-a-sick-individual/249695/2 "2004-06-10T21:16:34Z")
Meh. You’ve got issues, that’s for sure. But when you want to join the clud of the truly sick people you’ll have to do better that that. For example: When they get stuck on the paper, get a magnfying glass and burn pieces and parts until they stop moving, then hold a little funeral. And that’s just for starters. ---
**Author:** ![Toddly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/22d042/32.png) [@Toddly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toddly)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-i-really-am-a-sick-individual/249695/3 "2004-06-11T01:10:35Z")
Your not that sick… really. If you begin to enjoy this type of activity with higher forms of life then you would qualify. ---
**Author:** ![pervert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbe5ce/32.png) [@pervert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pervert)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-i-really-am-a-sick-individual/249695/4 "2004-06-11T01:39:03Z")
In your defense, all you did was watch and facilitate. You did not really participate in any tactile sense. ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-i-really-am-a-sick-individual/249695/5 "2004-06-11T01:43:40Z")
Nope, not sick at all! Sick would be making soup outta the carcases! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2004, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybe-i-really-am-a-sick-individual/249695/6 "2004-06-11T12:36:27Z")
I predict you will escalate to dynamite in he near future. Say, around the Fourth Of July. Let me say that I will watch your upcoming appearance on CNN with great intrest. Finally, expect the Restraining Order from the Judge later today, as soon as I can call my lawyer.