# Maybee tonight, motherfucker!... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 1, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300 "2005-04-01T20:46:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![bizzwire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/958977/32.png) [@bizzwire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bizzwire)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/41 "2005-04-02T13:15:49Z")
Instead of a gun (or, perhaps, alongside one), if you’re gonna wait in the room, why not bring a camera? When he comes in, make a small noise as you sit in a darkened corner. He’ll instinctively look right at you. SNAP!! goes the flash, giving you excellent documentation of the fact that he’s in your daughter’s room. He will eventually realize the same, hopefully making him less inclined to incriminate himself any further, and finally, he’s temporarily blind, making it easier to beat him senseless ---
**Author:** ![Cerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@Cerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cerri)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/42 "2005-04-02T13:34:28Z")
> [@bob fortuna](#): > > This dog was a rottie and was supposed to be in it’s cage when strangers came to call. That dog was a product of it’s environment and honestly, I dont really blame the animal. But what the fuck is going on when your dog is to be caged by court order inside your own home when unfamiliar folks come around? Yes I said caged inside the home, that dog was one bad boy with a history. I agreed to not sue if the dog was desroyed, per my little girl. Ugh. I don’t know why anyone in their right mind would want to own an animal that was that dangerous to be around. I love and adore the Rottweiler breed, and I’ll be the first to tell you I’d want no part of a dog like that. Of course, I believe in proper training and _lots_ of socialization, so I wouldn’t have a dog like that to begin with. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/43 "2005-04-02T14:13:20Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > If you’re going into this with a shotgun in hand, take the time to load it with birdshot instead of something more lethal. Courts frown on a killing, regardless of provocation. No. Absolutely not. If you are going to shoot, shoot to kill. That way, there is only one story being told and it is the correct one. Load somebody up with birdshot and he’ll sue your ass and win. I’d let him get into the house first, though. Simplifies matters greatly. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/44 "2005-04-02T14:27:36Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > No. Absolutely not. If you are going to shoot, shoot to kill. That way, there is only one story being told and it is the correct one. Load somebody up with birdshot and he’ll sue your ass and win. > > I’d let him get into the house first, though. Simplifies matters greatly. Yes yes and yes. And ALL of what ‘Stranger on a train’ said. For a shotgun, bb or bigger. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/45 "2005-04-02T14:43:11Z")
Well then how about a little dog, something small and fluffy and noisy as all get out? Perhaps it would sleep on your daughter’s bed? As long as it woke you up, it would give you another layer of security. Not that this is going to address the current situation. Have you installed a good lock in her window, perhaps drilled through the center frame? Or you could put a tension bar at the top or bottom. In re: explaining this to her, it might be hokey as all get out, but I’ll tell you what I’m planning to tell my kids when they’re old enough. Take a cup of sugar and put a couple of flakes of red pepper in it. The sugar is all the good people in the world, and those flakes are the few evil ones. You don’t have to fear everyone, but you do have to learn to protect yourself against the few. ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/46 "2005-04-02T15:12:40Z")
We have a two y.o. Italian Greyhound. ever seen santa’s lil helper on the simpsons? Yeah, thats bella. she is as useless as titties on a boar hog. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/47 "2005-04-02T15:23:50Z")
OK, maybe I’m making this too simple, but if someone is trying to jimmy the window, put bars on the window. Inside or out, it doesn’t matter, if you do it or have it done, that’s of no consequence, but the passive means of security are often the most effective. Confrontation is often not worth the paperwork, because no matter how justified you actually are, there is some lawyer somewhere that will represent the shitbag family of the shitbag son/cousin/uncle/nephew in the wrongful death lawsuit against you. ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/48 "2005-04-02T15:31:38Z")
I can’t imagine how horrible this is for you and your daughter. I second the idea of letting her school know what’s going on. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/49 "2005-04-02T15:35:38Z")
I wish you all the luck–what a horrible situation to be in. Please, let your daughter talk about this as much as she needs to–not wallow in it, but allow her to talk thru her fears. You might even want to share with her that you are --not scared(that might frighten her more) but concerned if this kid/man/deviant comes back. Go over the plan with her (the cops are aware, we are buying widow alarms etc). At 11, she is old enough to understand and appreciate a strategy for fixing the problem. I am not a gun person, so can’t get behind any of those ideas (I do understand the temptation, though)–I like the camera idea–with a cell phone to call 911. I do so hope that this is some stupid kid who wants to pull a prank. But (I don’t know your daughter) I think she may need to talk this all out. ---
**Author:** ![Claude\_Remains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@Claude\_Remains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claude_Remains)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/50 "2005-04-02T15:42:25Z")
> [@zagloba](#): > > I can’t imagine how horrible this is for you and your daughter. > > I second the idea of letting her school know what’s going on. First thing monday morning. she has a councelor at school already who is working with her about her mother’s death. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/51 "2005-04-02T15:47:59Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > No. Absolutely not. If you are going to shoot, shoot to kill. That way, there is only one story being told and it is the correct one. Load somebody up with birdshot and he’ll sue your ass and win. > > I’d let him get into the house first, though. Simplifies matters greatly. That is an uninformed opinion. Just because someone is in your house doesn’t give you the right to kill him. You can defend yourself if threatened, but if he doesn’t have a weapon and you dust him, you’re going to find yourself in a courtroom and possibly in prison, particularly when the prosecution proves that you went out and bought that gun and ammo for the specific purpose of going after this individual. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/52 "2005-04-02T15:52:20Z")
Re: Warning shots Fire three warning shots into his chest and then order him to halt. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/53 "2005-04-02T16:06:57Z")
When I was a kid we had a Datsun that was actually a fine watch dog. At night if anyone was in our yard she would growl low enough to wake us up but not so loud the person outside heard her. Sometimes a small yippy dog is the best watch dog. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/54 "2005-04-02T16:26:44Z")
From the [registration agreement](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=309541): > [@](#): > > You agree not to post material that in our opinion fosters or promotes activity that is illegal in the U.S. This includes urging people to murder intruders. Even if the intruders probably ARE dirtbags. Lynn For the Straight Dope ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/55 "2005-04-02T16:31:58Z")
> [@Lynn Bodoni](#): > > From the [registration agreement](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=309541): This includes urging people to murder intruders. Even if the intruders probably ARE dirtbags. In most states (including mine), one is explicitly by law allowed to use deadly force against a person coming in your home who is a threat to persons or property. Other states (including Florida, where the OP resides) use the “castle doctrine” of common law. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/56 "2005-04-02T17:58:31Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > No. Absolutely not. If you are going to shoot, shoot to kill. In a combat situation, there is no “shoot to kill” or “shoot to wound”; there is only **shoot to hit**. For defensive use of a shotgun at household ranges I’d pick something like #3 or #4 (squirrel & rabbit); lethal out to 30 feet or so, but won’t penetrate two layers of sheetrock at range. It’s actually safer, in this way, than a handgun. The OP hasn’t said whether he owns or plans to purchase a gun, but I’d just like to note that if he does so then I’d encourage him to keep it secured (locked) and obtain safety training for both himself and his daughter. (Frankly, I think everybody should learn how to safely handle, if not fire, a gun, but that’s another thread entirely.) As **Lynn Bodini** noted, we don’t encourage illegal behavior here, not only 'cause it’s against the SMDB rules but becuase it’s also just plain a bad idea. Any notion of dragging the body inside, trying to lure or bait him, or tossing a throw-down piece afterward is an extremely bad idea. OTOH, it’s an effing shame that the penal system isn’t serious about controlling and rehabilitating (if even possible) paedophiles, giving the pernicious extent of their recidivism. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![irae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f0a364/32.png) [@irae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irae)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/57 "2005-04-02T18:36:32Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > When I was a kid we had a Datsun that was actually a fine watch dog. 240Z? Left intruders scattered around the driveway coverd in tire marks? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/58 "2005-04-02T19:22:42Z")
I’m sure you can pick up an old VHS camera pretty cheap. Add some motion-triggered lights, put it on “long play” record mode and tape away. Criminals look for easy targets. Something as simple as a motion triggered light may be enough to convince this guy that your house isn’t worth it. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/59 "2005-04-02T20:15:04Z")
> [@Lynn Bodoni](#): > > From the [registration agreement](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=309541): This includes urging people to murder intruders. Even if the intruders probably ARE dirtbags. > > Lynn > For the Straight Dope **Lynn** Spot-on. Murder is exactly what it amounts to. Still, I’m not going to say I’m not, not for it in cases like this. All kidding aside, I stick with my original response. Passive beats active until active becomes the last resort. There is something called a use of force continuum that many legal types use to determine your response to a given situation. It goes this way. A:Regular citizenry B:Shithead Criminal C:Cop If B comes at A with nothing but his hands, A can use his hands to defend himself. If B comes at C with nothing but his hands, C use non-lethal or less lethal to subdue B and it scales up from there. The use of force is governed by the application of force, some shithead that breaks into your abode and just stands there staring at your child, does not constitute a threat per se, since you cannot divine his intent from his stance alone. If that same shithead is touching your sleeping child, that is the line that is crossed that allows you to blow said shithead right to hell. At least in Illinois the use of deadly force is, in most cases, allowable to prevent death, grevious bodily injury, felonious or aggravated assault (i.e. someone being struck with an object like a stone or pipe) and/or rape. If you shoot someone in your home, be prepared to deal with more cops than you’ve even seen, press, and other assorted hangers-on, it’s an afterthought consideration, yes, but it is a valid one none the less. Tactical considerations: 1. A small (20ga) gauge shotgun with, as **Stranger** suggests #3 or #4 shot is suitable enough, and won’t continue through walls far enough to accidentally kill anyone you did not intend to kill. 2. Light is most important. use light against that you intend to fire upon. Blinding the target means you may just have to subdue him until help arrives, instead of having to kill the shithead. 3. If you have to shoot, and are left no other option, fire twice, recompose, move forward, and fire again if need be. Be mechanical about it, erase emotion from the equation. Killing is a job when you’re doing it, if it’s anything else, it creates an environment that allows whoever remains in the shithead family to sue you. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300/60 "2005-04-02T20:31:02Z")
Maybe you should also teach her that if a stranger is trying to carry her off, she should yell “I don’t know them!”? Maybe you could get her some common sense [self defense](http://www.abcsofselfdefense.com) lessons, for children? That might ease your mind, and hers too. [Here](http://www.find-ilene.org/child_abduction_tips.htm) [are](http://www.familykaratecenter.com/capp.htm) some [resources](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0964551500/qid=1112473198/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/002-2974889-3293647?v=glance&s=books) I found, some with common sense suggestions. (I might just keep the book for myself, and use variations of the suggestions in it.) I’m sorry you have to go through this, and I hope this helps empower you. Maybe see if you can get her school counselor to talk with her, to help ease her anxiety? She knows something is wrong, and that Dad is Very Worried. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/maybee-tonight-motherfucker/297300.md?page=4)