# Mayday! Mayday! (minirants!) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 1, 2018, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409 "2018-05-01T14:47:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/301 "2018-05-22T15:49:04Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Woke up at about 12:15 last night to the sound of someone pounding nails. I figured it would stop, but it just went on and on. Finally got up and closed the window, but could still hear it. I think it was the morons who own the pot store on the corner. Guess they smoked too much of their own product and thought that midnight would be a good time to fix their fence. If it happens again tonight, I’m getting dressed and going over there to talk to the assholes. Not meaning you any distress, but I kinda hope it did, so you could get the backstory and pass it along to us). ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/302 "2018-05-22T19:40:02Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Not meaning you any distress, but I kinda hope it did, so you could get the backstory and pass it along to us). All quiet on the front last night. Regarding my son again. They keep using terms like “unresponsive” and “taking it hour by hour” when asked about his status. I’ll be there on Thursday and I hope I can pry more information out of them. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/303 "2018-05-22T20:27:31Z")
Ah, that must be scary as fuck. Wishing you guys well, **Chefguy**. ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/304 "2018-05-22T20:27:31Z")
I’ve become very spoiled by the “no talking no texting” experience at the Alamo Drafthouse. So much that now even if someone is only whispering, I get pissed off. Yesterday during a show, the couple next to me were whispering to each other and I leaned forward and stared at them until they looked at me, then I shushed them. Fingers on lips and everything. It pisses me off SO much. Shut your freaking pie-hole, assholes. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/305 "2018-05-22T22:40:12Z")
I have a friend who’ll shush people during the pre-previews (the canned “Did you know we have popcorn in the lobby?” stuff). He’ll get up, walk to the chatters’ aisle, lean over and say “I trust we won’t have to have this conversation during the film…” Then he’ll apologize to me when he sits back down. And I always say “Sorry? What for? Dude, you’re a hero now!” ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/306 "2018-05-22T23:38:09Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Fucking hell, can we please stop with the “human interest” stories of soldiers coming home to surprise mom/dad/kids/wifey? Cronkite is rolling in his grave over these sappy, boring, stupid stories. Far from bringing a tear to my eye, they make me want to pitch something at the TV. Yeah, come back in a year when the couple’s getting divorced because the soldier’s PTSD makes them extremely dangerous to live with. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/307 "2018-05-22T23:45:45Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > The magazine people are at it again. They drop off these young black folks in the neighborhood who have been coached to look vulnerable and sincere to play on white guilt, and to talk nonstop to keep you from saying “no”. I’ve dealt with this scam before and just point to the “No Solicitors” sign on the mailbox. I’d really like to have a word with the people who put them up to it. It’s been a few years since I’ve encountered this, and they were usually white or Hispanic. The last time one stopped by, it was a Sunday evening, and he claimed he was selling magazines to raise money for nursing school. Half his teeth were missing, and he had fresh bruises all over his face and arms. Afterwards, when I shut the door without buying anything, my cat sat by the door and growled. In the future, I will call the police because a lot of this is yet another form of human trafficking, and the magazines seldom end up being delivered. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/308 "2018-05-22T23:47:03Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Arghhh! I think my next-door neighbor is fixing to try out for American Idol or something. He sings. In the shower, on his back porch. Usually it’s some kind of Christian non-rock but today it’s “Gloria” (not the song by Them, that '80s one). I’m surprised my dog isn’t howling. The one by Laura Branigan (RIP) or the one by U2? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2018, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/309 "2018-05-22T23:50:21Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I wish; we’ve moved my husband’s years of “Mad” magazine and “Maxim” magazine four times now. ☹ Did you know that “Mad” magazines have significant resale value? ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/310 "2018-05-23T00:13:36Z")
Oh, goody. TCM is playing Nancy Drew movies. Holy cow, can’t they show normal old movies? I lived through Andy Hardy last week. It was about 17 movies. How many Nancy Drews can there be? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/311 "2018-05-23T00:16:31Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Did you know that “Mad” magazines have significant resale value? As well as Harvard/National Lampoons. Whereas a co-worker was sure his extensive “girlie mag” collection would go for more than five dollars total. Nope. I guess the rule is: Funny? Keep 'em. Filthy? Toss 'em. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/312 "2018-05-23T01:24:49Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > … > > I think I’m going to hug my windshield… > > In 20+ years of driving I’ve only needed to replace it once, after it was attacked by a malevolent Dutch highway. I hope it stays like that for the rest of my driving life. Our six year old car is on its fourth windshield. 😖 > [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Did you know that “Mad” magazines have significant resale value? I did not know that. Unfortunately, my husband says I can sell them when he dies. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/313 "2018-05-23T02:12:57Z")
> [@digs](#): > > As well as Harvard/National Lampoons. > Whereas a co-worker was sure his extensive “girlie mag” collection would go for more than five dollars total. Nope. > > I guess the rule is: > Funny? Keep 'em. > Filthy? Toss 'em. Playboys are resellable. Pretty much any other porno mag isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/314 "2018-05-23T12:08:08Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Great scene from an autobiographical book (“A Severe Mercy”) where the young couple buys their first car and ceremonially dents the hood with a hammer. So they’ll never have to worry about keeping it pristine or who’ll get the first dent. There’s something to this - I keep the new car pristine and worry about every flaw. My '02 came banged-up, so it’s fun for me to experiment on (mechanical, body) without feeling like I’m ruining it. I’m having emotional issues with the '04 I bought a few months ago. It is damn-near flawless, so if she gets dinged/scratched I hurt a 14-year-old car that was perfect (this car looks NEW!) Yeah, I’m an odd duck. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/315 "2018-05-23T12:10:00Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Oh, goody. TCM is playing Nancy Drew movies. Holy cow, can’t they show normal old movies? I lived through Andy Hardy last week. It was about 17 movies. How many Nancy Drews can there be? Who the fuck is “Ted” Nickerson? I didn’t think Nancy’s hair was Titian enough either, and she was being uncharacteristically shrill. I only made it through about four minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Jennshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Jennshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jennshark)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/316 "2018-05-23T12:10:06Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Oh, goody. TCM is playing Nancy Drew movies. Holy cow, can’t they show normal old movies? I lived through Andy Hardy last week. It was about 17 movies. How many Nancy Drews can there be? Last weekend was Dr. Kildare flicks. One or two is kitschy fun. Two days’ worth is not. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/317 "2018-05-23T12:18:35Z")
> [@Jennshark](#): > > There’s something to this - I keep the new car pristine and worry about every flaw. My '02 came banged-up, so it’s fun for me to experiment on (mechanical, body) without feeling like I’m ruining it. > > I’m having emotional issues with the '04 I bought a few months ago. It is damn-near flawless, so if she gets dinged/scratched I hurt a 14-year-old car that was perfect (this car looks NEW!) > > Yeah, I’m an odd duck. Nah, it’s pretty normal. The first time I loaned my car to my youngest brother, I had it parked in a multi-storey public garage. I could see he was super nervous; I remembered what a bad time I’d had the first time I drove Dad’s. As Bro drove up the spiral ramp, I asked him “what do you see there?” pointing to the central column. “Uh? A column.” “What colors?” “Reeeed?” “Nope. I said colorS. I see red, but there’s also a ton of grey and green and yellow and whatnot lines. If you ding this car you won’t be the first person ever to ding a car, ok? Just don’t ding yourself and we’ll be fine!” ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/318 "2018-05-23T15:52:49Z")
I went to two stores yesterday - Home Depot and Walmart. The people working in both stores pissed me off for no good reason. I mean, THEY had no good reason to bug me the way they did, not that I was super-irritable. _This_ is why Amazon is eating your lunches, brick-and-mortar stores. **Home Depot** - I’m checking out at the self-checkout, which I’ve been using since the second I saw my first one. I scan my stuff, and I’m digging around in my bag for my wallet. Store drone instantly gets right up in my grill - “Hey, you press this button if you’re ready to pay, then you select debit or credit!” Jesus fuck, back the hell off! What part of digging around for my wallet looks like I’m having trouble using this machine?!? Which apparently showed in my attitude, since she huffily responded, “I’m _supposed_ to help customers here!” Well, you’re not helping - you’re actively interfering with me paying for my stuff and GTFOing. **Next was Walmart** - I’m trying on shoes, minding my own business, when a store drone comes up to me - “Do you have a Walmart Mastercard?” “Not interested.” I hate, HATE being bothered with shit like this while I’m shopping, but I can muster a modicum of politeness (Canadian, dontcha know). I go to the self-checkouts again - as soon as I start scanning my stuff, another store drone comes up to me - “Do you want to donate to some shitty charity that we’re scamming you with?”\* “No thanks.” She buzzes off. I finish scanning and start paying - “Would you like to donate to some shitty charity we’re scamming you with?” - now the MACHINE is pestering me! You know how when you’re surfing you have all those irritating pop-ups? I had that experience in real life yesterday. \*Paraphrasing. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/319 "2018-05-23T16:05:21Z")
Nothing says “I am a person of wealth and taste” like a Walmart MasterCard. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2018, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409/320 "2018-05-23T17:21:55Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I went to two stores yesterday - Home Depot and Walmart. The people working in both stores pissed me off for no good reason. I mean, THEY had no good reason to bug me the way they did, not that I was super-irritable. _This_ is why Amazon is eating your lunches, brick-and-mortar stores. > > **Home Depot** - I’m checking out at the self-checkout, which I’ve been using since the second I saw my first one. I scan my stuff, and I’m digging around in my bag for my wallet. Store drone instantly gets right up in my grill - “Hey, you press this button if you’re ready to pay, then you select debit or credit!” Jesus fuck, back the hell off! What part of digging around for my wallet looks like I’m having trouble using this machine?!? Which apparently showed in my attitude, since she huffily responded, “I’m _supposed_ to help customers here!” Well, you’re not helping - you’re actively interfering with me paying for my stuff and GTFOing. > > **Next was Walmart** - I’m trying on shoes, minding my own business, when a store drone comes up to me - “Do you have a Walmart Mastercard?” “Not interested.” I hate, HATE being bothered with shit like this while I’m shopping, but I can muster a modicum of politeness (Canadian, dontcha know). > I go to the self-checkouts again - as soon as I start scanning my stuff, another store drone comes up to me - “Do you want to donate to some shitty charity that we’re scamming you with?”\* “No thanks.” She buzzes off. I finish scanning and start paying - “Would you like to donate to some shitty charity we’re scamming you with?” - now the MACHINE is pestering me! > > You know how when you’re surfing you have all those irritating pop-ups? I had that experience in real life yesterday. > > \*Paraphrasing. I got asked about a charity last week at our local Kroger offshoot. I pointed to the second basket of canned goods and said “That’s what that is for. We provide lunches for some children at the local elementary school.” He at least looked sheepish. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mayday-mayday-minirants/813409.md?page=17)