# MC 300 Pound Jesus vs. Axe-Wielding Hitchhiker **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 5, 2013, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373 "2013-02-05T09:27:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/1 "2013-02-05T09:27:43Z")
And the hitchhiker is the **good** guy. [Axe-Wielding Hitchhiker Dude Saves Lady From Fake Jesus](http://www.loweringthebar.net/2013/02/axe-wielding-hitchhiker-dude.html) Truth is stupider than fiction. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/2 "2013-02-05T09:37:58Z")
He had to specify it was a _fake_ Jesus? ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/3 "2013-02-05T09:42:31Z")
I want to PARTY with Kai! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/4 "2013-02-05T09:46:59Z")
Looks like Buddha’s advice about meeting the founders of religions on the road applies to more than just him. > [@Derleth](#): > > He had to specify it was a _fake_ Jesus? “You hit that fake Jesus with a hatchet!” “Fake?! Drat.” ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/5 "2013-02-05T09:50:01Z")
Watching that clip, I guess you have to allow for a degree of exaggeration by the hitchhiker, given that “Jesus” lived to tell the tale. I don’t care if you do weigh 300 pounds, if you get hit over the head three times at full swing with a hatchet, you die or at least have serious life threatening injuries. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/6 "2013-02-05T10:10:16Z")
If you hit someone with the flat or back, they’ll be a lot more likely to survive. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/7 "2013-02-05T16:19:51Z")
Yeah I’m guessing it wasn’t the pointy end of the hatchet. I want to use “Cool story, bro!” un-ironically for the first time ever! ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/8 "2013-02-05T16:29:33Z")
Rescues PG&E worker from psycho Rescues sister from rapist [Separated at birth?](http://cdn.idolator.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Antoine-Dodson-Bed-Intruder-song-Huntsville-Rapist-Gregory-Brothers-Kelly-Dodson-400x300.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/9 "2013-02-05T16:31:03Z")
That guy is awesome. “If you’re Jesus Christ, man, fuck it, I’ll be the anti-Christ!” ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/10 "2013-02-05T17:12:29Z")
Here’s the full unbleeped interview. [![]( " - YouTube") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y7i1ASCS5o) ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/11 "2013-02-05T19:20:51Z")
The only way to stop these tragedies is if there is a homeless man with a hatchet. ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2013, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/12 "2013-02-05T20:22:01Z")
[QUOTE=Sam the Eagle] It’s times like these, I’m proud to be an American. [/QUOTE] .. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/13 "2013-02-06T06:51:33Z")
Apparently he did open the guys head. But the guy going over and masturbating in front of a school after running into the worker and being hit with a hatchet is just so, so very wow. ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/14 "2013-02-06T07:54:26Z")
Smash. Smash. Sa-mash. Que the amber lamps. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/15 "2013-02-06T08:09:47Z")
> [@White SIFL](#): > > Smash. Smash. Sa-mash. This is what I came to post. Fuck it. “SMASH! SMASH! SMAAASH!” ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/16 "2013-02-06T08:10:26Z")
> [@White SIFL](#): > > Que ¿Que? ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/17 "2013-02-06T08:46:23Z")
Usually it would be the homeless hitchhiker that did something bad. Nice reading a story where its the driver thats crazy and the hitchhiker saves the day. No telling what would have happened otherwise. Those two ladies probably wouldn’t be alive. > [@](#): > > In the breathless, expletive-ridden interview given by homeless Kai, he explains how he used his own hatchet to subdue the racist driver after he attacked a utility worker and then two female bystanders in Fresno, California. > > Having hitched a ride from the unhinged driver on Saturday, affable Kai has rocketed to fame with his ‘Smash, smash, smash’ line in the news report as he demonstrates the way he stopped 54-year-old Jett Simmons McBride. > **['Smash, smash, smash': TV interview of mystery hero Kai the 'surfer dude'...](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2274208/Smash-smash-smash-TV-interview-mystery-hero-Kai-hitch-hiker-takes-web-storm-stops-crazed-driver-hatchet.html)** > > A local news report has made an online superstar of Kai, (pictured) a well-intentioned hitchhiker who saved three people from a crazed driver ranting that he was Jesus Christ. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2013, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-300-pound-jesus-vs-axe-wielding-hitchhiker/649373/18 "2013-02-06T09:30:29Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Watching that clip, I guess you have to allow for a degree of exaggeration by the hitchhiker, given that “Jesus” lived to tell the tale. I don’t care if you do weigh 300 pounds, if you get hit over the head three times at full swing with a hatchet, you die or at least have serious life threatening injuries. My favorite explanation for his survival from another forum: “He has the impervious skull of a fundamentalist”.