# MC Hammer Toes

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-hammer-toes/144139>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [December 20, 2002, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-hammer-toes/144139 "2002-12-20T23:51:14Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2002, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-hammer-toes/144139/1 "2002-12-20T23:51:14Z")

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My my my toes bend down so hard  
Makes me say “Oh my Lord”  
Why you do you curse me  
With the toes that bow on two hype feet  
It looks so dumb when I look down there  
Is there any way to non-surgically repair  
straighten my didjuts  
Ugly ones that (uh) you can’t touch?

You can’t touch these  
You can’t touch these  
You can’t touch these

Break 'em down

Stop, Hammer time

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**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2002, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-hammer-toes/144139/2 "2002-12-21T00:14:26Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by furt \*  
> \*\*  
> Ugly ones that (uh) you can’t touch?  
> \*\*

This seems to be the question. I don’t think the aesthetic values of a toe has any relevance to one’s capability of touching it. YMMV.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2002, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mc-hammer-toes/144139/3 "2002-12-21T00:26:08Z")

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True, but they’re icky. You wouldn’t WANT to touch them (not that you necessarily would anyway…)

Maybe should have changed it to “she won’t suck”

Maybe not.