# McBain for Mayor! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 26, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695 "2003-10-26T19:14:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/1 "2003-10-26T19:14:56Z")
Now that Arnold’s the Governator, don’t you think that it’s time for his small screen cousin Rainier Wolfcastle ran for mayor? After all mayor Quimby has been [called](http://www.snpp.com/guides/quimby.html) > [@](#): > > illiterate tax cheating, wife swapping pot smoking spend-o-crat > supporting revolving door prisons and even released Side Show Bob, twice convicted for attempted murder > a convicted Felon We know that he failed to stop Burns’s attempt to blot out the sun over Springfield, cheats on his wife, has several illegitimate children, frequently flip flops on important issues, and can be bought/blackmailed. So don’t we need someone like Wolfcastle in charge of Springfield? I’m sure Homer would vote for him. ---
**Author:** ![pilot141](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e0b2c6/32.png) [@pilot141](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pilot141)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2003, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/2 "2003-10-26T19:54:20Z")
Well, the key would be to get Marge and Lisa’s support. They did torpedo Burn’s run for Governer, after all. (We’re a Bailey household!) ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/3 "2003-10-27T01:18:55Z")
The great thing about having McBain as Mayor is that whenever he has a press conference about a icty problem he can end it by saying: “And I know who’s behind all this … MENDOZAAAAA!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Yumblie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/76d3ee/32.png) [@Yumblie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yumblie)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/4 "2003-10-27T06:34:42Z")
Forget McBain, I say we elect Willie. _“If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the whole lot of ya, and burn the town to cinders!”_ I mean really, who can beat that? ---
**Author:** ![pilot141](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e0b2c6/32.png) [@pilot141](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pilot141)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/5 "2003-10-27T06:57:56Z")
[Willie] I know it’s on!!! [/Willie] But with Quimby, you have so much dirt! You could get anything you wanted with enough info… The documented visit to the House of Burlesque (“That could be anyone’s sash!”) The illicit liason (“That could be anyone’s ass!”) The possibilities are endless! ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/6 "2003-10-27T07:50:00Z")
Only a moron wouldn’t cast his vote for Mon-ty Burns. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/7 "2003-10-27T10:38:31Z")
But Quimby is no longer illiterate. Surely that counts for something. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/8 "2003-10-27T13:18:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by pilot141 \* > \*\*[The documented visit to the House of Burlesque (“That could be anyone’s sash!”) > > \*\* Nitpick: The line was “That could be any mayor’s sash.” Is Reiner still married to Maria, and is she a Quimbly? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/9 "2003-10-27T23:53:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*Nitpick: The line was “That could be any mayor’s sash.” > > Is Reiner still married to Maria, and is she a Quimbly? \*\* I can’t find it at the moment on [snpp.com](http://snpp.com), but IIRC, it lists her as being a Quimby (I think the mayor’s her brother). ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/10 "2003-10-28T01:28:51Z")
Mayor of NEW Springfield! "We’ll all be taking GOLDEN showers, now. What?!" ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/11 "2003-10-28T02:54:16Z")
I’ll eat my hat if hundreds of Korean children aren’t sweating over this episode’s cells even as we type. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/12 "2003-10-28T03:18:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Mudd \* > \*\*I’ll eat my hat if hundreds of Korean children aren’t sweating over this episode’s cells even as we type. \*\* Well, they have their uniformed guards and their bayonets as motivation. ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/13 "2003-10-28T10:50:55Z")
I’d vote for Barney. No beer tax ever! ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/14 "2003-10-28T15:10:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Annie-Xmas \* > \*\*Nitpick: The line was “That could be any mayor’s sash.” > > Is Reiner still married to Maria, and is she a Quimbly? \*\* Double nitpick! I’m fairly certain it was “That could be any mayor!” ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/15 "2003-10-28T20:39:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Odinoneeye \* > \*\*I’d vote for Barney. > > No beer tax ever! \*\* AFAIK, he’s still on the wagon, so I doubt he’d have such a policy. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mcbain-for-mayor/209695/16 "2003-10-28T20:47:54Z")
When he’s not in action, he’s in traction… Wait, wrong guy.