# "Me" is not a dirty word **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 12, 2009, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220 "2009-08-12T20:43:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/21 "2009-08-12T23:28:25Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Example: “So Bob and I’s friend got arrested last night.” Bob and _I’s_?! You goddamn cretin, “I’s” is not a word! I agree with you completely. The problem with that construct is that ALL versions of a phrase possessive for “Bob and I” sound wrong. I’ll always recast the sentence (e.g., “Bob and I have a friend that got arrested last night”). ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/22 "2009-08-12T23:32:46Z")
“Bob’s and my friend got arrested last night.” Or just leave Bob out of it altogether. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/23 "2009-08-12T23:44:17Z")
“The stapler is a key piece of office equipment. Would you mind handing it to myself? I need to utilize it.” (When I edit things for one of my bosses, I have to systematically go through and de-key and de-utilize them.) ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Robson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gary_robson/32/3448_2.png) [@Gary\_Robson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Robson)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/24 "2009-08-12T23:48:24Z")
> [@fachverwirrt](#): > > “Bob’s and my friend got arrested last night.” It’s right. But it still _sounds_ wrong. ---
**Author:** ![emcee2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7bcc69/32.png) [@emcee2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emcee2k)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/25 "2009-08-12T23:52:04Z")
> [@fachverwirrt](#): > > “Bob’s and my friend got arrested last night.” > > Or just leave Bob out of it altogether. That makes it sound like two people got arrested. ---
**Author:** ![Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/96bed5/32.png) [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patty_O_Furniture)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/26 "2009-08-13T00:11:50Z")
I can forgive the occasional I/me confusion. But not the repeated misuse of “myself”, a _reflexive_ pronoun (used where the subject and object are the same person). In my office it’s constantly misused (misutilized?) by people who, I believe, are just trying to make themselves look like they have a superb command of the language. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/27 "2009-08-13T00:19:15Z")
Ralph Wiggum: Me flunk English? That’s unpossible ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/28 "2009-08-13T00:23:53Z")
> [@emcee2k](#): > > That makes it sound like two people got arrested. If it were “Bob and my friend got arrested…” then it would sound like two people. The double possessive is important. I still think we should leave Bob out of it entirely. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/29 "2009-08-13T00:33:05Z")
> [@fachverwirrt](#): > > If it were “Bob and my friend got arrested…” then it would sound like two people. The double possessive is important. > > I still think we should leave Bob out of it entirely. Or, if you’re going to include him, edit the sentence a bit: “This guy that Bob and myself know got arrested last night.” ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/30 "2009-08-13T01:31:41Z")
> [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](#): > > Or, if you’re going to include him, edit the sentence a bit: “This guy that Bob and myself know got arrested last night.” Please tell me that you used _myself_ incorrectly on purpose. Of course, nobody has bothered to post the rules on using it. But, as a basic rule, if there is no _me_ or _I_ in the sentence, then _myself_ is not correct. The whole point of the word is to indicate that something is reflexive. Using _myself_ means you are referring back to previous _I_ or _me_. I can talk to _myself_, but she cannot talk to _myself_. She talks to _me_. Of course, that whole “leave out the other person” method works here, too. Would you say “This guy that myself know[s] got arrested last night?” ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/31 "2009-08-13T01:44:58Z")
Unlike our friend, Bob and I were not arrested last night. ---
**Author:** ![Declan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecae2f/32.png) [@Declan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declan)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/32 "2009-08-13T02:04:43Z")
Its all about me. Declan ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/33 "2009-08-13T12:39:35Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > And while nobody uses “me” and “I” correctly, I’ve never noticed abuse of “myself”. (Well, except in the privacy of my own home.) “Myself” is probably the most overused word in the language. I am forever hearing people say it when they should say “me.” “Myself” is correct only in two cases: in the reflexive, e.g. when the subject and object of the sentence are the same person (“I gave myself a haircut, boy that wasn’t a good idea.”) or for emphasis (“Goddamnit, I’ll just do it myself.”) In every other case it’s wrong. On review, I guess this has been explained already. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/34 "2009-08-13T13:02:52Z")
> [@fachverwirrt](#): > > “Bob’s and my friend got arrested last night.” > > Or just leave Bob out of it altogether. Yeah, screw Bob. > [@InvisibleWombat](#): > > I agree with you completely. > > The problem with that construct is that ALL versions of a phrase possessive for “Bob and I” sound wrong. I’ll always recast the sentence (e.g., “Bob and I have a friend that got arrested last night”). It doesn’t’ sound wrong to me, but you’re right, that doesn’t sound right to most people. I also reconstruct the sentence so I don’t have to confuse anyone. But “I’s”? Never. I’d sooner die. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/35 "2009-08-13T13:06:09Z")
I used to work with a guy who would respond to a phone call where he was asked for by name with, “This is he…” He was committing 2 language sins at once, avoiding first person self-reference AND using the passive voice to do it. “Speaking…” is much easier. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/36 "2009-08-13T13:34:31Z")
A former coworker always used the phrase “yous guys.” One day she had to use the possessive, referring to our cars . . . and sure enough, it came out “yous guys’s cars.” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/37 "2009-08-13T14:06:19Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > I used to work with a guy who would respond to a phone call where he was asked for by name with, “This is he…” > > He was committing 2 language sins at once, avoiding first person self-reference AND using the passive voice to do it. “Speaking…” is much easier. What is worse than a grammar Nazi? A style Nazi. Do you seriously think there is a _rule_ against _ever_ using the passive? Why do you think the passive exists? There is nothing wrong with saying “This is he…” in such circumstances. If he carried on the entire conversation using only the passive voice, and referring to himself only in the third person, then he would risk the person he was talking to finding him boring or weird, but he still would not have broken any grammatical rules. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/38 "2009-08-13T14:11:44Z")
> [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](#): > > Or, if you’re going to include him, edit the sentence a bit: “This guy that Bob and myself know got arrested last night.” Very funny. 😛 > [@VunderBob](#): > > I used to work with a guy who would respond to a phone call where he was asked for by name with, “This is he…” You’ll take “This is she” from me when you pry it from my cold dead vocal cords. “It was I” and “It was Bob and I” will remain in my vocabulary. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/39 "2009-08-13T14:12:30Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > What is worse than a grammar Nazi? A style Nazi. Waaah waaah waaah. Passive voice smacks of effete snobbery and/or governmental bureaucrat-ese. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220/40 "2009-08-13T14:30:23Z")
Bob’s and my friend got arrested last night. I think ‘got’ is overused in colloquial speech. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/me-is-not-a-dirty-word/506220.md?page=3)