# Mean Mr. Mustard’s List of Original (I believe) Cinematic Sure Things **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies, chess\ **Created:** [January 10, 2024, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911 "2024-01-10T19:19:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/21 "2024-01-10T20:48:19Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > A detective looking for a clue If the looking requires opening cabinets, lockers or closets, a cat will jump out of one of them when opened ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/22 "2024-01-10T21:03:13Z")
If someone calls and says excitedly “Turn on the news!!”, you don’t have to ask “Which channel?” because the whatever channel you are currently on will have just started talking about that event is no matter how small and/or localized it is. It could be a Spanish language ESPN station and they will still wait until you are viewing to report on the event. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/23 "2024-01-10T21:06:35Z")
Smart phones are always lightning fast and the thing the person is looking for on their phone (pic, map, app, video)is always one tap away. Sex is always 100% fluid-free with no need for any post-coitus clean-up. Pizza must be old, even when it’s freshly delivered. Characters at hockey games always sit right by the glass and must pound on the glass while yelling at the players. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/24 "2024-01-10T21:16:31Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > A fool proof plan will always fail. But…never fear, a new plan will just happen, coincidentally and work just fine. A plan will only have a chance of succeeding if it is not explained beforehand. This is one I learned as a kid watching Scooby-Doo. Many of the episodes would feature a somewhat elaborate plan for catching the monster/bad guy. About half the time, Fred would explain on-screen how the plan was supposed to work, and I noticed that, inevitably, something would go wrong when they attempted to carry it out. (“Looks like Danger-prone Daphne’s done it again!”) The rest of the time, we in the audience would not hear the explanation of how the plan was supposed to work, and those are the times when the plan would actually prove successful. The narrative reason for this is clear: it would be boring and wasteful storytelling to spend time showing us both how the plan is intended to work and how it does actually work if these are the same. But unfortunately this means that, whenever we (the audience) know ahead of time how a plan is supposed to work, that’s a dead giveaway that it is guaranteed to not work out that way. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/25 "2024-01-10T21:22:14Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Regular Guy: _“Like my wife’s twin sister always says, ‘alcohol can be as deadly as a snakebite’.”_ > > Eccentric Genius: _“Say that again!”_ > > Regular Guy: _“uh, ‘alcohol can be as deadly’…”_ > > Eccentric Genius: _“No! No! The other part!”_ > > It’s always the other part. It has never once been the repeated part. This happens to me all the time in real life. My wife will say something and I will miss the first part and only hear the last couple of words. When I say “What?” she only repeats the last part, which is the part I’ve heard. I’ve had to learn to say something like “I didn’t hear the first part of what you said” so that she starts from the beginning. My contribution to the thread: when someone is breaking up with someone else, and they start the conversation with “I have to tell you something…” the other person will invariably jump in with “I have to tell you something first” then profess their undying love for the breaker-upper. ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/26 "2024-01-10T21:27:52Z")
Oh, that’s a good one! I think that’s definitely a sure thing… ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/27 "2024-01-10T21:39:20Z")
Mysteries and dramas have so many poignant moments that real life never would. My kid and I would lampoon one of those, the “meaningful pause as you leave the room.” Our version always involved the lower, slower repetition of a phrase. I’d be leaving the house to go to the hardware store, and he’d say _“Dad…”_ “Yes, son?” _“You’re going to be careful, right?”_ And I’d turn, fix him with a stare: “I’m afraid there’s no time to be careful.” Open door. Look back over shoulder… “No time…” Look wistfully out the door, then close it. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/28 "2024-01-10T21:50:30Z")
If there is a bomb that needs defusing, no matter what the guy on the radio says, it’s always the _other wire_ that needs cutting. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/29 "2024-01-10T22:03:38Z")
RE Cinematic Sure Things These are important points in The Cineverse Cycle of books. At one point, minorest of spoilers. our couch potato hero convinces everybody the safest place to wait for the car chase to end is in the middle of the street. Everybody is stunned when he’s right. He points out that car chases always end in the noisiest crash possible. So standing in the open was safe as the bad guy was destined to crash into that row of trash cans over ther. HIGHEST POSSIBLE RECOMMENDATION for the books. ETA Slaves Of The Volcano God Bride Of The Slime Monster Revenge Of The Fluffy Bunnies. I’ve read and re read them many times. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba9def/32.png) [@Just\_Asking\_Questions](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_Asking_Questions)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/30 "2024-01-10T22:11:52Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > If someone calls and says excitedly “Turn on the news!!”, you don’t have to ask “Which channel?” That’s how I learned about 9/11. I asked “which channel”, and the reply was “any”. I knew it was bad. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/31 "2024-01-10T22:34:12Z")
Love conquers all, and oral hygiene is a non-issue ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/32 "2024-01-10T22:36:24Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Oh and my favorite a thousand bullets will only kill or wound 2 good guys. > One, poorly aimed under stress, bullet will mortally wound the bad guys in the last minutes of the movie. Oh, yes. The trained, hired assassin with an automatic weapon literally spewing out bullets will fail to find their mark, but a shot or two from our hapless hero’s six gun is sure to drop the baddie. > [@commasense](#): > > room full of books, drawers, papers, etc., look at one or two, and in less than a minute will have found it. I’ve seen this several times recently - drives me nuts. > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Never go in the basement if there are unusual sounds. Ever. > > They always do. [Teens tend to make bad decisions in horror movies.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYae3ZAAbLc) ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/33 "2024-01-10T22:43:15Z")
If a character coughs more than twice, they’ll be dead by the end of the movie. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/34 "2024-01-10T22:44:16Z")
Whenever two or more people are in a car, the driver will invariably have a conversation with the passenger by looking over at them, only briefly and occasionally glancing back to the road. The only exception to this that I’ve seen is in_The Office,_ and that’s because the actors were really driving real cars on actual streets in actual traffic, so their driving was real driving, not (only) acting. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/35 "2024-01-10T22:49:32Z")
The old, broken down athlete who’s pressed into service at a critical moment will always have one last moment of glory to win the championship. ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/36 "2024-01-10T23:25:24Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Sex is always 100% fluid-free with no need for any post-coitus clean-up. Oddly, literally 5 minutes ago I finished watching a movie\* where the man went to get the woman a post-coital towel. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. mmm \*May December ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2024, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/37 "2024-01-10T23:28:21Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > > [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > > > Regular Guy: _“Like my wife’s twin sister always says, ‘alcohol can be as deadly as a snakebite’.”_ > > > > Eccentric Genius: _“Say that again!”_ > > > > Regular Guy: _“uh, ‘alcohol can be as deadly’…”_ > > > > Eccentric Genius: _“No! No! The other part!”_ > > > > It’s always the other part. It has never once been the repeated part. > > This happens to me all the time in real life… Absolutely. Spouse: “mumble mumble mumbe mumble mumble prehistoric bacon” Me: “What?” Spouse: “Prehistoric bacon.” mmm ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/38 "2024-01-11T00:07:48Z")
At some point you will inevitably hear things like: _“Your friend is either very brave … or very foolish.”_ _“Perhaps … a little of both!”_ _“Be careful! Don’t hit the girl!”_ _“What have to done with her?”_ _“Nothing … yet!”_ _“Don’t worry, kid. She’ll wait for you. Not all dames are like Francie.”_ _“There’s nothing wrong with being afraid, kid. Any guy who says he’s not afraid is a liar.”_ _“i can’t ask the men to do something I wouldn’t do myself.”_ ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/39 "2024-01-11T00:09:34Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Oddly, literally 5 minutes ago I finished watching a movie\* where the man went to get the woman a post-coital towel. Well slap my ass and call me Sparkle! That’s a first. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/40 "2024-01-11T00:12:54Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Oddly, literally 5 minutes ago I finished watching a movie where the man went to get the woman a post-coital towel. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. Did they smoke after sex? 🤨 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911.md?page=3)