# Mean Mr. Mustard’s List of Original (I believe) Cinematic Sure Things **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** movies, chess\ **Created:** [January 10, 2024, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911 "2024-01-10T19:19:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/61 "2024-01-11T15:42:27Z")
> [@solost](#): > > A few corollaries of my own: > [snip] > If a young woman throws up, she’s pregnant (unless a central plot point is that she’s hung over). [Ahem.](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/47) ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/62 "2024-01-11T15:48:00Z")
When a woman is sitting on a comfy chair or couch and drinking a cup of coffee or tea, she will cradle the cup with both hands. _Especially_ if she is sitting cross-legged. mmm [![Imgur](https://i.imgur.com/5XXpE7O.jpeg "imgur.com") ](https://imgur.com/5XXpE7O) ---
**Author:** ![f.coli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eada6e/32.png) [@f.coli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/f.coli)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/63 "2024-01-11T16:06:17Z")
If a character, especially an expendable character, sees a danger approaching fast (e.g. avalanche, toppling building, giant monster) they will usually freeze in terror rather than trying to flee to safety. If they do flee, they will run in the same direction as the approaching danger, which will be traveling faster than the character. ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/64 "2024-01-11T16:41:49Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > Ahem. Sorry, I did do a cursory scan of the thread to see if it had been posted already, but overlooked that. ---
**Author:** ![commasense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/commasense/32/3017_2.png) [@commasense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/commasense)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/65 "2024-01-11T16:44:19Z")
No problem. Great minds, and all that. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/66 "2024-01-11T17:50:18Z")
Any weary GI who sits down to “finally write a letter home” will invariably be sniped before pen touches paper. **Corollary:** The only GI missing at Mail Call when a “letter from home” finally arrives will be the one lost in the latest engagement. ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/67 "2024-01-11T17:59:23Z")
Whenever someone whose head is completely obscured by a helmet does something awesome on their motorcycle, they will remove it revealing they are (GASP!) a woman with long flowing hair that spills down (slow motion is optional). ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/68 "2024-01-11T18:02:05Z")
The dowdiest of secretaries will be revealed as incredibly gorgeous when she removes her glasses and lets down her hair. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/69 "2024-01-11T18:45:38Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > The dowdiest of secretaries I thought those were all librarians… ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/70 "2024-01-11T19:00:42Z")
> [@f.coli](#): > > If a character, especially an expendable character, sees a danger approaching fast (e.g. avalanche, toppling building, giant monster) they will usually freeze in terror rather than trying to flee to safety. If they do flee, they will run in the same direction as the approaching danger Unless it’s the protagonist / main character, in which case they will easily be able to outrun whatever natural disaster is barreling down on them, such as Chris Pratt outrunning the pyroclastic flow in that Jurassic World movie or whatshisname outrunning the sandstorm in _Hidalgo_. ---
**Author:** ![Railer13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/railer13/32/9742_2.png) [@Railer13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Railer13)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/71 "2024-01-11T19:06:47Z")
I thought that the Black Guy always died first in a horror movie, but that’s been disproven. > **[Black Guy Dies First](https://aurn.com/black-guy-dies-first/)** > > AURN Content creator, Starr Rocque explores the history behind the Black Guy Dies First phenomenon in movies. It’s only 45% of the time. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/72 "2024-01-11T19:15:06Z")
Have we forgotten wearing a red shirt\* on Star Trek means you’re not coming back from the planet. \*Odd man out, extraneous character, not important to the plot. Extra(don’t quit your day job, just yet) I know you all know what the _red shirt_ means. But I know 5 people are gonna cite Episode?? Season?? when it happened to be a green shirt or an alien with fur or scales. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/73 "2024-01-11T19:17:32Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Have we forgotten wearing a red shirt\* on Star Trek means you’re not coming back from the planet. Which is why Scotty is always up on the ship getting the engines running instead of in the landing party. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/74 "2024-01-11T19:18:33Z")
Do I know my Dopers? Yes, yes I do.😊 2 minutes, amazing. ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/75 "2024-01-11T19:35:18Z")
> [@commasense](#): > > Any woman who vomits or is nauseated is pregnant. Unless it’s a true crime show, in which case it’s arsenic poisoning. ---
**Author:** ![WreckingCrew](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wreckingcrew/32/4080_2.png) [@WreckingCrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WreckingCrew)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/76 "2024-01-11T19:52:22Z")
[/quote] Did they smoke after sex? 🤨 [/quote] Proper lubrication is the key to prevention for that. ---
**Author:** ![Pavelb1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Pavelb1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pavelb1)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/77 "2024-01-11T20:23:34Z")
If the character is Native American, there’s a 96% chance they will be steeped in mysticism or grew up on ‘the rez.’ Usually both. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/78 "2024-01-11T20:24:44Z")
Any character (especially a cop) who’s days or weeks away from retirement will be dead by the end of the movie. Anyone riding a motorcycle will put their helmet on, but not do up the strap. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/79 "2024-01-11T20:25:51Z")
If you call your friend and say, “I’m on to something. I’ll meet you at …” then you will die before you make that meeting. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2024, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911/80 "2024-01-11T20:30:44Z")
> [@Quimby](#): > > Whenever someone whose head is completely obscured by a helmet does something awesome on their motorcycle, they will remove it revealing they are (GASP!) a woman with long flowing hair that spills down (slow motion is optional). [The motorcycle is optional](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2elqogqt0pI) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mean-mr-mustard-s-list-of-original-i-believe-cinematic-sure-things/995911.md?page=5)