MEAN People!

I’ve met a few mean people in my life, both were women, and both were my boss (at different times)

The first mean boss was a terrible control freak. She absolutely refused to respect work that was not done precisely the way she wanted it to be done, and her expectations were subject to change hourly. She was horribly disrespectful in her demeanor- even suspected a coworker of being mentally retarded because his work always fell short of her expectations (in reality, he just resolved to do his work to the best of his ability and took himself out of the try to please/fail cycle). I like to think the pressure of her job made her that way, but she never bothered to try to mentor anyone to work in tandem with her, so all people did was fail to meet her expectations and give up trying and then quit. (I didn’t quit but I got my ass transferred at my first opportunity). I think at her core she trusted no one.

The second mean boss is my current boss. She gets off on making mean-girl jabs, throwing people under the bus, making comments in order to make people look inept, dissecting people’s weaknesses publicly, office political gossip, etc. It is truly only because of one thing: she has zero self confidence. It’s too bad, because she’s trying to claw her way to a leadership position, but has shown zero leadership potential. It will probably not end well for her.

Everyone possesses the capacity to be mean, some more than others. Why? A multitude of reasons. I’m mean sometimes - actively so. It’s usually when my asshole meter pings and it’s shields up. When bullies see that you can dish it back as well or better than they can serve it, they move on. What a vicious cycle.

Also, sometimes it’s just plain fun to pile onto someone. Sick, schadenfreudal fun.

I’m not a big fan of the “You didn’t mean to be cruel/Somebody hurt you too” thing (Oh Father - Madonna). I have had some really awful things happen to me and while I don’t it with it perfectly 100% of the time, it’s not some license to be a vile human being. One particularly mean person I know, everyone makes excuses for him whereas I can’t really see anything particular bad that happened to him above and beyond his siblings and peers.

Some people are just awful. It makes them happy or gets them what they want, which makes them happy. Sure, there must be some who are awful because they’re working through their own issues, but it’s not an excuse.

I work in a department with periodic Performance Reviews…including how well you get along with superiors and coworkers.
People with the “what kind of shit can I get away-with today” attitude don’t last long here.
:wink: