# Meaningless Advertising Words **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 17, 2018, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265 "2018-06-17T16:37:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2018, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/61 "2018-06-22T13:49:53Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Gluten free water? Sure. Some water is bottled in facilities which also make gluten-containing products. Labeling water that wasn’t eliminates any doubt. Gluten cannot get in the air and “contaminate” things … right? ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2018, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/62 "2018-06-22T19:42:10Z")
> [@Civil\_Guy](#): > > No one makes a better product" – several of our competitors might make a product just as good and perhaps for a slightly lower cost – and we’re not going to get into all of the subtleties of what “better” might be – but we stand by our statement and our product. Ayup. But there are subtleties. For example, “no one makes a better product” is the safe way to use “better”, but if you actually do a direct comparison, like, “Our toothpaste is better than Colgate!” you’d better have the data to back it up. Thinking of which, “best” can be used as a weasel word too, especially among parity products (products where there’s really very little difference between brands) such as toothpaste. You can say “our toothpaste is the best you can buy!” safely, because _any_ toothpaste is the best you can buy. But once you start drawing actual comparisons, you’d better have proof. A phrase that bugs me: “People who switched to Dipstick Insurance saved 15% or more!” The “or more” bit at the end is dumb enough, but the part that bugs me is that they hope you don’t realize that, duh, people who weren’t going to save money didn’t switch insurance companies. They want you to think that switching automatically means saving. It would be equally true to say, “A thousand people checked our prices, and we cost more for 997 of them, but the three that switched saved!” ---
**Author:** ![glowacks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/glowacks/32/5548_2.png) [@glowacks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glowacks)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2018, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/63 "2018-06-24T05:21:38Z")
> [@bordelond](#): > > Gluten cannot get in the air and “contaminate” things … right? It’s at least widely believed that it is beneficial for people with severe reactions to gluten not eat anything that has been made in a factory where wheat products are processed. Jet’s Pizza around here has a “gluten free” pizza, but the fine print on it says that they cannot control their franchisees’ processes for ensuring that no gluten from the rest of the restaurant gets into the gluten-free pizza and so does not recommend it for anyone with celiac disease. I assume that this is based on the reality experienced by those that are extremely sensitive and not just hyperbole. ---
**Author:** ![Tread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Tread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tread)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/64 "2018-06-25T21:30:49Z")
For a Fraction of the cost of XX What fraction 99/100, … 8/3 ? Flavorful… or as one beer used to advertise. we have more flavor than other beers. Well there is a good chance an Elephant beer has more flavor than a saltine cracker. And All Natural. well so is asbestos. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2018, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/65 "2018-06-25T23:45:22Z")
> [@Tread](#): > > And All Natural. well so is asbestos. This and “Made from natural ingredients.” So is heroin. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2018, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/66 "2018-06-26T05:00:13Z")
> [@DavidwithanR](#): > > The Parker pen company long ago advertised their “A11” ink additive. > > It was in fact “All” brand detergent - they found if they added just a little, people’s fountain pens flowed better. 🙂 > [@Green\_Bean](#): > > Cite, please. This is pretty off-the-wall. Here’s something from [Fountain Pen History](https://fountainpenhistory.blogspot.com/2016/03/quink-and-superchrome-ink.html) blog - first thing I could find. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2018, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/67 "2018-07-14T17:59:49Z")
A Canadian life insurance company says “Anyone between the ages of eighteen and eighty can apply.” Sure, you can _apply_. Doesn’t mean you’ll be _accepted_, though. **DUH!** :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2018, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/68 "2018-07-15T00:52:58Z")
This Canuck doesn’t come across British shampoo ads too often, but thanks to Fark back in the day I got familiar with Ben Affleck’s “Here comes the science”. Hey - sold me, even though I still don’t know what the shampoo was. (Nor really care tremendously to look it up) ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2018, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/69 "2018-07-15T01:06:28Z")
Terrific examples from y’all! > [@Tired\_and\_Cranky](#): > > Reminded me of this xkcd strip: [xkcd: Free](https://www.xkcd.com/641/) > > This strip also belongs somewhere in this thread: [xkcd: Adjective Foods](https://xkcd.com/1774/) The whole thread reminded me of [the train scene from _How To Get Ahead In Advertising_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iAecAtJVdE). ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2018, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/70 "2018-07-15T04:42:57Z")
“Creamery” butter. ---
**Author:** ![Asuka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Asuka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asuka)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2018, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/71 "2018-07-15T04:54:20Z")
All those late night sex ads that infested comedy Central a decade ago that promised to “Enlarge a certain male organ” or “Extend your anatomy”. They try to make it seem like they’re not saying PENIS for obscenity concerns but it’s obvious they are just implying it so they can’t get sued for making a direct false statement. Also claims of “10 or 11 inches at maximum” really makes me wonder what dummies thought some pill was going to double or triple your length within a month. ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2018, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/72 "2018-08-07T16:46:44Z")
Just thought of one more: “Grandma’s” Must be good because it was like grandma used to make. [Grandma?](https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=Bu0SsD4L&id=64315296A1AA850E74A51C47C54D07FE1F983E5D&thid=OIP.Bu0SsD4L9ZNlw09QMg6e9QHaEK&mediaurl=https%3a%2f%2fi.kinja-img.com%2fgawker-media%2fimage%2fupload%2fs--3aMUF_LI--%2fc_scale%2cfl_progressive%2cq_80%2cw_800%2fgtz9egg25ihcr6ltgwsx.jpg&exph=450&expw=800&q=scary+grandma&simid=607998214324490184&selectedIndex=21) ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [August 7, 2018, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/73 "2018-08-07T17:16:43Z")
“Blowout.” What, exactly, is blowout pricing? And who gets blown? And which way is out? I think the ultimate is a vinyl sign put up by an apartment complex near me: _Move-in Blowout Rates!_ Okay, how much is it and how long does it last? ---
**Author:** ![Noel\_Prosequi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b19c9b/32.png) [@Noel\_Prosequi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noel_Prosequi)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/74 "2018-08-09T06:57:55Z")
“May”, as in “may reduce symptoms of fever”. Meaning of “may” in this context is functionally identical to “doesn’t”. ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/75 "2018-08-09T10:23:22Z")
I hope I’m not being too specific, but one meaningless advertising word in the USA is “Beck’s”. Real Beck’s (made in Germany) tastes quite different and a lot better. I wouldn’t say it was the best beer in the world, but I would never turn down a real one. I WOULD turn down an American-made one, because it tastes weird and wrong. I know that a number of high-volume brands do the same, but some of them do a better job. ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/76 "2018-08-09T11:47:41Z")
> [@DavidwithanR](#): > > I hope I’m not being too specific, but one meaningless advertising word in the USA is “Beck’s”. > > Real Beck’s (made in Germany) tastes quite different and a lot better. I wouldn’t say it was the best beer in the world, but I would never turn down a real one. I WOULD turn down an American-made one, because it tastes weird and wrong. > > I know that a number of high-volume brands do the same, but some of them do a better job. I haven’t had a Beck’s in eons, but I have a question about this claim. I brought home some Beck’s from a trip to Germany (this was in 1983, beer bought in a store, not at airport) and it did not taste any different than a US store bought Becks. Are you claiming today they brew it locally? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/77 "2018-08-09T12:05:49Z")
“In a clinical trial, users lost four times more weight.” Four times more than what? :dubious: 😕 ---
**Author:** ![DavidwithanR](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@DavidwithanR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidwithanR)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/78 "2018-08-09T12:31:00Z")
> [@BwanaBob](#): > > I haven’t had a Beck’s in eons, but I have a question about this claim. I brought home some Beck’s from a trip to Germany (this was in 1983, beer bought in a store, not at airport) and it did not taste any different than a US store bought Becks. Are you claiming today they brew it locally? No need for me to make any claims, it’s printed clearly on the bottle. ---
**Author:** ![ftg](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ftg/32/2801_2.png) [@ftg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ftg)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/79 "2018-08-09T12:39:18Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > “In a clinical trial, users lost four times more weight.” > > Four times more than what? :dubious: 😕 Than the weight lost by the 1 in 5 dentists who don’t recommend sugarless gum. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2018, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265/80 "2018-08-09T13:08:08Z")
Save up to 15% or more! So really any number at all. Makes your teeth up to four shades whiter! What the hell kind of unit of measurement is a “shade”? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/meaningless-advertising-words/816265.md?page=5)