# Mechanisms in books you hate **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 24, 2012, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239 "2012-07-24T14:39:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/101 "2012-08-13T19:45:53Z")
> [@minlokwat](#): > > Bizarre-o names. I can just picture the author, taking a slow pull from cig, looking skyward and thinking, “Let’s go with Pippy Shufflebottom”. Can’t stand it and names like that are usually enough of an indicator for me to not continue further. > > Also totally implausible dialogue. I remember reading some fiction and early on, there’s a kid who’s supposed to be preternaturally smart so the author gives him lines like, “I know my polysyllabic utterations are beyond the grasp of the mass of proletariat flotsam cast before me…” and blah, blah, blah. > > The novel gets closed up and then flung to the opposite wall of the room. Bastard ! I laughed so much I nearly spilled my pint. But getting back to the plot, I hate books that start at the end. As in" He stared at the devastation before him, the broken bodies, the used condoms, and then he remembered how it all started …" And you think, well its all over, anti climax ! And any story that can use time travel, or surrealism to rectify horrendous events so you know that the heroes are never really in danger. Hitchhikers guide and Star trek I’m looking at you ! ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/102 "2012-08-13T22:48:38Z")
> [@Filbert](#): > > In kids’ books, the disappearing parent syndrome used to bug me a lot- not just kids being orphaned, but the ones who weren’t had parents who always seemed to be suddenly called away by mystery illnesses or just for no real reason leave a bunch of kids with some batty old distant relative or total stranger for a month who just left them all to do whatever, despite being otherwise being portrayed as loving, caring parents. I think there’s an actual psychological reason for this. It’s in fairy tales, too - everyone’s mother is dead. I think it’s because it’s a safe way for kids to explore the idea of making their own way through the world, without a parent to do the heavy lifting. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/103 "2012-08-13T23:14:08Z")
> [@Lust4Life](#): > > And any story that can use time travel, or surrealism to rectify horrendous events so you know that the heroes are never really in danger. > > Hitchhikers guide and Star trek I’m looking at you ! I don’t know that the _Hitchhiker’s Guide_ series is the best example of this, as in the last book time travel is used to _cause_ a horrendous event. At the end of _Mostly Harmless_ all possible versions of Earth in all possible timelines are destroyed, and the series protagonist dies along with most of the other major characters who weren’t dead already. ---
**Author:** ![Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrogance_ex_machina/32/192_2.png) [@Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrogance_Ex_Machina)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/104 "2012-08-14T02:06:34Z")
> [@eclectic\_wench](#): > > I think there’s an actual psychological reason for this. It’s in fairy tales, too - everyone’s mother is dead. I think it’s because it’s a safe way for kids to explore the idea of making their own way through the world, without a parent to do the heavy lifting. [derail] I know this is about books, but in the usual “teenagers in high school” anime parents are missing more often than not. It’s gotten to a point where I’m actually surprised if the protagonist has even one parent present. [/derail] ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/105 "2012-08-14T13:34:08Z")
An author with a kid protagonist is kinda stuck with the missing parent problem. What good parent in their right mind would let their child go on exciting and dangerous adventures? If the parents are good and attentive, the kid’s got to get whisked away to a fantasy land or something without the parent knowing, and that gets old too. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/106 "2012-08-14T13:58:02Z")
> [@gonzoron](#): > > An author with a kid protagonist is kinda stuck with the missing parent problem. What good parent in their right mind would let their child go on exciting and dangerous adventures? If the parents are good and attentive, the kid’s got to get whisked away to a fantasy land or something without the parent knowing, and that gets old too. Buffy the vampire slayer. Her mother might as well have been a drunk for all she really cared or even paid attention to her daughter. It was one of the biggest reasons I couldn’t watch the show. ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/107 "2012-08-14T14:59:33Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Buffy the vampire slayer. Her mother might as well have been a drunk for all she really cared or even paid attention to her daughter. It was one of the biggest reasons I couldn’t watch the show. Wow… you didn’t get very far in, did you? Buffy’s mom is one of the best moms in TV history. Especially once she finds out about Buffy’s secret life. ---
**Author:** ![FasterThanMeerkats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/278dde/32.png) [@FasterThanMeerkats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FasterThanMeerkats)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/108 "2012-08-14T15:09:42Z")
Characters in huge stories that get a whole chapter of backstory and development only to be immediately killed. I’m looking at you George R.R. Martin.:mad: ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/109 "2012-08-14T15:13:20Z")
> [@gonzoron](#): > > Wow… you didn’t get very far in, did you? Buffy’s mom is one of the best moms in TV history. Especially once she finds out about Buffy’s secret life. No. I couldn’t make it past Season 1. That’s not the only reason I hated the show. ---
**Author:** ![gonzoron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a6a055/32.png) [@gonzoron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzoron)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/110 "2012-08-14T16:09:41Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > No. I couldn’t make it past Season 1. That’s not the only reason I hated the show. To each their own, but I think most Buffy fans will tell you that Season 1 isn’t really indicative of the show. If you ever feel like giving it a second chance, try starting with Season 2. (and if you don’t, no big whoop, but hey, I gotta try.) ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/111 "2012-08-14T16:35:35Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Here’s one I’ve noticed lately. It’s the practice of imparting important plot information to the protagonist by means of some vaguely supernatural, poorly characterized force. You know, “when she spotted the mysterious stranger, she was overcome by an instant feeling of dread,” thus informing her that he’s a Bad Guy. Or “I don’t know why, but I’m certain that we need to head west”. > > Like many entries here, when it’s done properly, it can add to an atmosphere of mystery. Stephen King does this a lot, and he often manages to do it right. However, it can just as easily be the result of lazy, lazy writing. A lot of times, it’s “I can’t be bothered to figure out a logical way for my character to learn something important, so I’ll just say that they know it ‘somehow’”. I was reading something not long ago that did a TON of this, but now I can’t put my finger on what it was. > > I guess I just remembered it from somewhere. JK Rowling did this in the Harry Potter books. At the end of book 6, after Dumbledore has died, Harry hears Dumbledore’s pet phoenix singing outside. As the phoenix flies away, the books says something like, “Somehow, Harry knew he wouldn’t see it again.” Lazy, lazy, lazy. Especially when there’s an obvious solution: Harry could have learned this in Care of Magical Creatures! ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/112 "2012-08-14T17:58:17Z")
> [@gonzoron](#): > > An author with a kid protagonist is kinda stuck with the missing parent problem. What good parent in their right mind would let their child go on exciting and dangerous adventures? If the parents are good and attentive, the kid’s got to get whisked away to a fantasy land or something without the parent knowing, and that gets old too. Speaking as a children’s author, this is something we struggle with, which is why frequently the responsible adult is injured or endangered in some way, and that’s why the child has to be the one to save the day. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/113 "2012-08-14T18:08:20Z")
> [@gonzoron](#): > > To each their own, but I think most Buffy fans will tell you that Season 1 isn’t really indicative of the show. If you ever feel like giving it a second chance, try starting with Season 2. (and if you don’t, no big whoop, but hey, I gotta try.) I know, I was told that. But when I neither liked the central dynamic of the show (killing vampires, who cares) nor the central character (am sick unto death of little girls beating up huge guys) nor the setting (High school, drama, angst, yay) I figured the show just wasn’t for me. Plenty more shows and I prefer British telly anyway. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mister\_Rik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mister_rik/32/491_2.png) [@Mister\_Rik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mister_Rik)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/114 "2012-08-14T18:57:03Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > You made me think of another one - dialect. I could not read Tai-Pan because of the awful Chinee dialect in the mouth of the Chinese guy…I can’t remember the exact words, but I posted a passage here before. It was unreadable. Dialect should be judiciously used - there were entire, deathly important conversations, page-long, all held in pigdin. Ugh! Ugh indeed. On a related note, I once got into a big argument about this with some other amateur writers, because in my opinion they were misusing dialect, mainly by using it too much and in the wrong places. My two simple “rules:” • Dialect belongs in the dialogue. It _almost never_ belongs in the narration. The only time dialect should be in the narration is when it is established from the beginning that the narration is meant to represent a character telling the story orally. See: [Uncle Remus](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncle_Remus). The whole point in the Uncle Remus stories is that this old, uneducated, ex-slave is orally relating these stories to a group of children, and so we’re supposed to “hear” the stories in his voice. Other than rare scenarios like that, narration should be written in the writer’s best approximation of proper, standard English (assuming an English-speaking author and audience, of course). • When the character speaks in a pidgin/broken dialect because he is not a native speaker of the “common” language, he/she should only speak in that dialect _when communicating with speakers of the “common” language_. For example, Antonio is a Mexican national living and working in the USA, and has only a rudimentary command of English, so when he speaks to Americans he does so in his best broken English. But when he speaks to another Mexican _in Spanish_, his dialogue should be “translated” into grammatically correct English for the reader. Since Antonio is supposed to be speaking in his native language, to a fellow native speaker of that same language, there is absolutely no reason for his dialogue to continue to be represented by broken English. > [@Anaamika](#): > > I, Claudius also has this trouble because of the Roman penchant for repeating names. It was really difficult to keep track of which generation someone was talking about, when uncle and nephew are named the same thing. I loved the BBC show though. Heh. I’ve been working my way through some medieval history, and it gets really confusing in the 10th and 11th centuries when it seems that every French king, duke, and count is named Charles and every royal or noble German is named Otto or Henry 😛 > [@Ethilrist](#): > > I understand that words in foreign languages are traditionally italicized in fantasy/science fiction: ‘Thank you, but I don’t participate in _rishathra._’ This is generally considered a shorthand for “here’s a foreign word that we all know what it means, and I’m just going to use the foreign word.” > > However, when two people are stated as speaking _in the foreign language_ and you still use the foreign word, and italicize it, suddenly, to me, it means “I can’t be arsed to come up with a translation for this word.” > > Get 'er done. I think that’s easily fixed in most cases: when the two foreign-language speakers are conversing, simply don’t italicize the word. That way, you easily communicate to the reader that there is probably no direct translation: Captain Picard: “Yes, I would enjoy some fresh _gagh_.” Klingon Captain, to his servant: “Bring the bald human a plate of gagh!” > [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > It’s one thing if there’s a reason for the punctuation. For instance, a click (which isn’t used in English, but does occur in other human languages) is commonly denoted by an exclamation point. Or if someone uses a designator to indicate parentage or clan, for instance, O’(whatever) to designate “son of”. It’s another thing when random punctuation is thrown in for no good reason, other than the author is trying to make the language or name more exotic. I’ve always interpreted the apostrophes in “alien” or “fantasy” names as being a convenience tool for the reader, essentially indicating how the syllables are divided, since the breaks between syllables come in places that would be unnatural or unintuitive in English, and that such marks don’t actually appear in the character’s own written language. I’m reminded of that recurring character on Saturday Night Live many years back whose last name was “Asswipe”, and he was constantly correcting people’s pronunciation: “It’s ah-SWI-pay!” Had he been a _serious_ character in a fantasy or sci-fi novel, his name could have been written “As’swi’pe” > [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > I’ve seen that in older books where it appears the author’s assumption is that if you are capable of reading their book, you have a working knowledge of at least Latin and French and maybe Greek. Luckily, the character is usually quoting a famous passage so I can easily google a translation. Not a novel, but I’ve run into exactly this problem while reading _The Cambridge Medieval History_, which was published around 1910-1920 (there are several volumes). There are a number of passages in Latin, usually quoting some historical figure, and no translation is provided because it was assumed the reader had learned Latin in school. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/115 "2012-08-14T19:00:33Z")
God, I was looking around, trying to find some examples from Tai-pan to post, and i found some people actually _like_ the pigdin and think it’s funny and clever. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/116 "2012-08-14T19:03:26Z")
Like this: Suppose one man no catchee cash, he no can play at game, Supposey pigeon no hab wing, can no make fly all- same. Wang-ti he tly fly-up-can-go, 1 he workee hard for some, But all-same one fire-/ocket stick he makee fly-down- come. But bat by night may blongey, b/ight-sun, 3 a butterfly. One tim you catchee angel s’pose you look-see devil kwei. Wang-ti no pass he no can do he no can catch degZee, You make ear-hear, I talkee how t’his all come good fo’ he. One night Wang-ti go walkee he feel like loney goose ; How allo study, ‘m-chung-yung 5 he never hit t’he use. How some man pass an’ catch degree while he stick fass’ behind, Like one big-piecee lock 6 while waves fly pass’ him on t’he wind. Only, as I said, it would be pages of this shit, and it would be important dialogue - discussing lives and deaths of some people while I have to read fucking ignorant pigdin. It’s like reading another language, only there’s no beauty in the words. Maybe that’s it, in the end. Language is _beautiful_ and I respect it greatly and am in awe of it. Pigdin destroys it utterly. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/117 "2012-08-14T20:16:47Z")
I hate it when an author writing a fictional book will use a celebrity from real life as a character. It just seems to me like the author is writing fanfiction about the celebrity. (Can’t think of any examples off the top of my head - maybe I just tend to avoid books like that?) ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239/118 "2012-08-14T20:44:46Z")
> [@EmilyG](#): > > I hate it when an author writing a fictional book will use a celebrity from real life as a character. It just seems to me like the author is writing fanfiction about the celebrity. > > (Can’t think of any examples off the top of my head - maybe I just tend to avoid books like that?) Farmer’s _Riverworld_ series is pretty much nothing BUT this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/mechanisms-in-books-you-hate/629239.md?page=5)