# Medical Professionals, What Embarrassing Sexual Injuries Have You Witnessed?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [June 6, 2006, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578 "2006-06-06T05:02:36Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 12\
**Page:** 7

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**Author:** ![Crescend](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Crescend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crescend)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578/121 "2006-06-10T07:21:53Z")

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[QUOTE=Mishell]  
My favorite was the guy with the cock ring. They had tried everything to get that puppy off, even called in the Fire Department to bring some form of stronger cutting device. I can’t remember how they eventually got it off.  
[/QUOTE]

I don’t think ‘vagina dentata’ could even begin to come close to describing the raw, primordial atavistic terror I would experience upon seeing a firefighter approach my johnson with the Jaws of Life.

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**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578/122 "2006-06-10T09:13:17Z")

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“He needed aggressive urethral dilation.”

A blow job?

What?

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**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578/123 "2006-06-10T10:11:09Z")

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[QUOTE=EddyTeddyFreddy]  
Okay, **gabriela** , I’ve tried to resist but can no longer: Did UHaul Hospital have a beautiful view? 😉  
[/QUOTE]

You don’t need a reply!!!

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**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578/124 "2006-06-10T15:08:43Z")

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[QUOTE=gabriela]  
You don’t need a reply!!!  
[/QUOTE]  
😃

In 1975 a book by a journalist named Don Gold came out, called “\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_, A Documentary of a Large Metropolitan Hospital”. It was fascinating, often in the way a spectacular wreck by the side of the road is fascinating. Reading your desciptions of where you trained reminded me irresistably of that book.

Hmmmmmm… I just dug it out to confirm author and publication date. It’s going on the to-be-read-(again) pile.

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**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578/125 "2006-06-10T20:30:15Z")

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[QUOTE=Muffin]  
“He needed aggressive urethral dilation.”

A blow job?

What?  
[/QUOTE]

Um, if that’s the case, count me in. Count me in a few times.

Go ahead and keep on counting, sugar..you’re doing a marvelous job.

What?

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**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\
**Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578/126 "2006-06-10T22:05:15Z")

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[QUOTE=Crescend]  
I don’t think ‘vagina dentata’ could even begin to come close to describing the raw, primordial atavistic terror I would experience upon seeing a firefighter approach my johnson with the Jaws of Life.  
[/QUOTE]

Didn’t Denis Leary do a scene on _Rescue Me_ with just this scenario (I think it was Franco)? Or was it on _The Job_?

But yeah, scary- I think they used a cutting tool…

:eek:

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**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\
**Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578/127 "2006-06-11T01:22:04Z")

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[QUOTE=gabriela]  
You’re really kind and I’m glad you weren’t bored.  
.  
[/QUOTE]

I wasn’t bored, either. I (like many other dopers) don’t like it when I don’t get something, and I didn’t understand your original post, so the explanation was welcome. Also, I (like many other dopers) am curious about pretty much everything, so it’s always interesting to know what a too high or too low level of potassium does to you.

Now, of course, I’m going to check my potassium level ten times a day just in case.

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**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\
**Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578/128 "2006-06-11T06:00:18Z")

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[QUOTE=clairobscur]

Now, of course, I’m going to check my potassium level ten times a day just in case.  
[/QUOTE]  
Just remember:

An avocado a day  
Keeps the PVCs away.

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**Author:** ![gabriela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/db5fbb/32.png) [@gabriela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gabriela)\
**Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578/129 "2006-06-11T11:14:57Z")

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[QUOTE=clairobscur]  
I wasn’t bored, either. I (like many other dopers) don’t like it when I don’t get something, and I didn’t understand your original post, so the explanation was welcome. Also, I (like many other dopers) am curious about pretty much everything, so it’s always interesting to know what a too high or too low level of potassium does to you.

Now, of course, I’m going to check my potassium level ten times a day just in case.  
[/QUOTE]

Geez, I’ll have to be more careful to be sure explanations accompany text. Will do better net tme.

\>\>I (like many other dopers) don’t like it when I don’t get something\<\<

I don’t get something I read in thirty-nine out of forty posts I read. I am fairly IT ignorant, can’t fix water heaters, don’t know how to take care of cars, haven’t seen most of the TV shows discussed in Cafe Society, can’t name 80’s tunes, don’t know what the Muslim world is like through the eyes of a native, don’t own a cat, don’t know if animals abort, don’t know what tevas are, couldn’t navigate my way home from Earth orbit, have never had a baby…

And, to veer back to the general area of the OP, have never taken a light bulb out of a guy’s ass.

Or a limp noodle out of the urethra of a limp noodle.

PS Your potassium level is fine. Take it from me. Ask Picunurse.

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**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578/130 "2006-07-21T22:46:20Z")

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I’m hoping this thread is still new enough for me to bump it by asking: I thought it was pretty standard to cut the bottom off the bottle to a) break the vacuum, and b) create a point of traction inside, rather than outside, the bottle. Have I been sadly misinformed?

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**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\
**Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578/131 "2006-07-22T09:05:13Z")

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[QUOTE=Mishell]  
What the heck is it with cheap cologne bottles?  
[/QUOTE]

If they used better cologne, they’d get dates.

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**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\
**Post date:** [July 22, 2006, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-professionals-what-embarrassing-sexual-injuries-have-you-witnessed/359578/132 "2006-07-22T13:53:23Z")

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I’ll never look at a bottle of Brut (or old spice) the same way again.

The reasons for subscribing to The Dope and all its medical and perverted weirdness are neatly wrapped up in this thread.

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