# Medical Weirdness **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 23, 2013, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958 "2013-08-23T12:43:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958/21 "2013-08-25T03:11:29Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Once I shot a man up with ritalin just to see him diet. Hey! You makin’ fun of us ADHDer? ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958/22 "2013-08-25T12:22:25Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Once I shot a man up with ritalin just to see him diet. Were you in Reno at the time? ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958/23 "2013-08-25T15:38:46Z")
I’m of that era when physicians were gawd. In spite of hints to the contrary here the unit I worked on was pretty much in the control of the RNs and LPNs. And they were a sharp bunch. The veritable eyes and ears of health care, they are. But if a psychiatrist was around it was all about him no matter how out of touch he was. One of my patients was suicidal and I asked for a psych eval. All I would have had to do to verify my conclusion would have been to ask any of the nurses but protocol demanded a psychiatrist. He arrived on the unit, drunk as usual, and held out his hand, “The chart,” he said. I nodded toward the chart room. Nurses flew into action mode. One quickly placed a cup of coffee in his hand and another hurried to the chart room. That was my first hint how much power the little sot had. Passive-aggressive little bugger that he was he got even with me for my female uppitiness. Came down to my office, smoked a cigarette, knocked full ash tray and papers off my desk and staggered out upon his way. His license plate read “zookeepr.” Another psychiatrist we had was certifiable and apparently not managing her mental health well. She did work very well with individual patients. I wanted to ask her a few questions about a particular young man’s care. It was near closing time on a wintery Friday evening. We were in the staff lounge and she had her back to me, looking out the window. I asked my questions and she answered something to the effect, “Did you ever notice how peaceful and quiet everything seems to be when the snow is gently sifting down like that?” Not too odd to me, a previous English major. There was a MESSAGE in there. In code! I thought about it over the weekend. Older and wiser had just been telling me in a kind way not to worry so much about it. I came back to the unit on Monday morning and ran it by the trusty nurses who laughed., “Oh. Is she off her meds again?” ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958/24 "2013-08-25T15:49:54Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Once I shot a man up with ritalin just to see him diet. ROTFLMAO! The doc wins the thread! ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958/25 "2013-08-25T21:22:22Z")
> [@Tethered\_Kite](#): > > I’m of that era when physicians were gawd. In spite of hints to the contrary here the unit I worked on was pretty much in the control of the RNs and LPNs. And they were a sharp bunch. The veritable eyes and ears of health care, they are. > > But if a psychiatrist was around it was all about him no matter how out of touch he was. > > One of my patients was suicidal and I asked for a psych eval. All I would have had to do to verify my conclusion would have been to ask any of the nurses but protocol demanded a psychiatrist. > > He arrived on the unit, drunk as usual, and held out his hand, “The chart,” he said. > > I nodded toward the chart room. Nurses flew into action mode. One quickly placed a cup of coffee in his hand and another hurried to the chart room. That was my first hint how much power the little sot had. > > Passive-aggressive little bugger that he was he got even with me for my female uppitiness. Came down to my office, smoked a cigarette, knocked full ash tray and papers off my desk and staggered out upon his way. > > His license plate read “zookeepr.” > > Another psychiatrist we had was certifiable and apparently not managing her mental health well. She did work very well with individual patients. I wanted to ask her a few questions about a particular young man’s care. > > It was near closing time on a wintery Friday evening. We were in the staff lounge and she had her back to me, looking out the window. I asked my questions and she answered something to the effect, “Did you ever notice how peaceful and quiet everything seems to be when the snow is gently sifting down like that?” > > Not too odd to me, a previous English major. There was a MESSAGE in there. In code! > > I thought about it over the weekend. Older and wiser had just been telling me in a kind way not to worry so much about it. > > I came back to the unit on Monday morning and ran it by the trusty nurses who laughed., “Oh. Is she off her meds again?” There was a child psychiatrist in my old town (and his now-ex wife was a prison chaplain) whose kids went to the alternative high school, and they were so dangerous, the other alt-school kids’ parents didn’t want them associating with these kids. And you had to be a BAD kid from an equally bad family to go to that school, too. The son was rejected from the military when they were taking anyone who could fog a mirror, and now likes to date unattractive girls so he can get them pregnant and ditch them. :eek: His parents don’t think he’s doing anything wrong because the girls can have abortions. IDK what the daughter is like, except that she’s even worse. Talk about the cobbler’s kids having no shoes. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2013, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958/26 "2013-08-25T23:14:28Z")
Tsk, tsk. We had one here in town for hire for anyone who needed the big guns of psych to testify for them in court. His family was enmeshed. We saw them once in a grocery store all attached to the same cart with a lot of little feet all moving along. After that we called them “The Ant Hill Mob Gang.” We’re sure being hard on those guys. Why do they have to make it so easy? ---
**Author:** ![SpeedwayRyan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@SpeedwayRyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpeedwayRyan)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958/27 "2013-08-26T18:11:32Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Once I shot a man up with ritalin just to see him diet. …just to WATCH him diet. C’mon! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Foxy40](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a9a28c/32.png) [@Foxy40](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foxy40)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958/28 "2013-08-26T18:23:32Z")
If you want stories, this is a great forum. [Things I Learned From My Patients.](http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985) ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958/29 "2013-08-26T18:47:07Z")
> [@Foxy40](#): > > If you want stories, this is a great forum. [Things I Learned From My Patients.](http://forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=257985) I’m LOLing every couple of minutes. I saw a version of this one, it wasn’t funny IRL: > [@](#): > > When your 15yo daughter gives precipitous delivery to a bleating, underweight infant 30 minutes after presenting to triage c “gas pains”, you should run around the department loudly yelling, “I don’t know what y’all did or who that baby is, but my lil’ girl warn’t pregnant when she come in here” 17yo is watching TV with her dad, gets up to use restroom, comes back with premature infant. She hadn’t shown much of a bump, and had some irregular spotting, didn’t realize she was pregnant at all. Her dad, the baby’s grandfather, really worried us. We kept a sharp eye on him for a few days, concerned he was just going to break. He got better, baby got healthy, everybody turned out just fine. But it was a scary time. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2013, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958/30 "2013-08-26T20:52:55Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Once I shot a man up with ritalin just to see him diet. Don’t quitcher day job, Patch Adams. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2013, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958/31 "2013-08-27T05:05:53Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > …pencil skirts are to be worn only if they don’t really suit you… lol, very artfully put. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2013, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958/32 "2013-08-27T12:34:51Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Don’t quitcher day job, Patch Adams. 😃 _Patch Adams_? Them’s fightin’ words! Periosteal elevators at dawn! ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2013, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958/33 "2013-08-28T18:11:11Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > _Patch Adams_? Them’s fightin’ words! > > Periosteal elevators at dawn! OK, what floor? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/medical-weirdness/666958.md?page=1)