# Melania Trump is gone (largely missing in public, not deceased) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Tags:** trump\ **Created:** [May 10, 2025, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217 "2025-05-10T13:52:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/23 "2025-05-10T16:00:00Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > What concept is that? To me, “First Lady” just means “the wife of the President” (and I’m not prepared to dismiss the concept of marriage itself as “19th-century aristocratic bullshit”). Anything beyond that—the specific role, if any, of the First Lady—is up to that particular President and First Lady to decide for themselves. Why should the spouse of a politician be given any title or status? President is just another government job, and like any job, it ends at the office. She’s not an appendage to her husband, and it’s not a family business. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/24 "2025-05-10T16:11:42Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Why should the spouse of a politician be given any title or status? As noted, “First Lady” is technically not an official title nor office; however, tradition has evolved that the First Lady does play a role in the President’s social calendar, and most of them have chosen to use their position and visibility to champion causes. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/25 "2025-05-10T16:12:37Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > A recent NY Times article says she has been at the White House 14 out of the first 100 days. In fairness that’s 14 days longer than almost anyone could stand being around her husband. ---
**Author:** ![DavidNRockies](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidnrockies/32/6279_2.png) [@DavidNRockies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DavidNRockies)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/26 "2025-05-10T18:24:06Z")
AIUI, Barron speaks fluent Slovenian. Reluctant though I generally am to make predictions, I’d guess that once Melania can ‘independently’ find her way to a comfortable berth on this list … she’ll be outta’ there: > **[Richest 100 Slovenians worth ten billion euros](https://sloveniatimes.com/41603/richest-100-slovenians-worth-ten-billion-euros)** > > The wealth of 100 richest Slovenians is estimated to have grown by 14% compared to last year to reach a record €9.97 billion, according to annual wealth rankings compiled by business news portal Finance. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/27 "2025-05-10T18:42:32Z")
George Wallace managed retaining the governorship despite term limits by having his wife run in his place, and then doing the work for her. Melania is ineligible to become President so it’s conceivable that Trump is in the process of interviewing new wives that are native born. Maybe that’s where Noem comes in. I saw an ad with her, and it looked like she’d just had her lips plumped like she’s trying to win a beauty pageant. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/28 "2025-05-10T18:58:07Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > George Wallace managed retaining the governorship despite term limits by having his wife run in his place, and then doing the work for her. > > Melania is ineligible to become President so it’s conceivable that Trump is in the process of interviewing new wives that are native born. I might buy that idea, if I believed that Trump was motivated by wielding the office’s power, and was willing to be the “power behind the throne” to do so. I may be wrong, but I really don’t think that’s what he’s about. He certainly wants to be able to punish his enemies using his office, but otherwise, I don’t think he truly gives a rat’s ass about most of the policies that his administration is pursuing; those are other people’s ideas (e.g., Stephen Miller, Peter Navarro, the Project 2025 folks, etc.). I strongly believe that his motivation is to receiving the publicity and praise for implementing things that his devotees like, seeing his face on the news 24/7, the adulation that comes from holding the world’s most powerful office, and the near-total immunity to lawsuits and prosecution that he currently enjoys. Becoming First Cheeto to a Kristi Noem, or whoever, wouldn’t give him that. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/29 "2025-05-10T20:05:39Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Why should the spouse of a politician be given any title or status? President is just another government job, and like any job, it ends at the office. She’s not an appendage to her husband, and it’s not a family business. “First Lady” being the spouse of the PotUS is a custom, not a law or anything official. In fact, several women _other_ than presidential spouses have acted in that role, including: Thomas Jefferson’s daughter Martha, after Mrs. Jefferson died. Andrew Jackson’s daughter-in-law AND his deceased wife’s niece as well Zachery Taylor’s daughter Benjamin Harrison’s daughter James Buchanan’s niece Chester Arthur’s sister Grover Cleveland’s sister Gerald Ford’s daughter Susan while her mother was recovering from breast cancer treatment. Certainly, originally, it was intended as a ceremonial, hostess role for official functions. So far always filled by a female relative of the PotUS but in no way required. Melania is in no way obligated to “fulfill” any sort of hostess role. If she wants to be obscure I’m cool with that, why not? Should we ever have a woman as PotUS I suspect the title of a male spouse would be “First Gentleman”. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/30 "2025-05-10T20:13:40Z")
Thank you for that comprehensive list, though to it, we might add Donald Trump. (The New York Times article says, “At the White House this time around, Mr. Trump has taken to performing some duties that typically would fall to a first lady. She’s not the one carefully selecting light fixtures for the White House residence, redesigning the Rose Garden, greeting tour groups in the East Wing or hosting receptions for Women’s History Month. He is.”) ---
**Author:** ![OttoDaFe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ottodafe/32/356_2.png) [@OttoDaFe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OttoDaFe)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/31 "2025-05-10T21:04:16Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > That New York Times article said the last First Lady to be absent mostly from the White House was Bess Truman, though she was a very different woman. I don’t have a NYT subscription so I don’t know if the article mentioned it, but from 1949 to 1952 the White house was being [reconstructed](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_House_Reconstruction) because it was no longer safe to occupy. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/32 "2025-05-10T21:06:59Z")
It does not. > “We haven’t seen such a low-profile first lady since Bess Truman, and that’s going way back in living human memory, nearly 80 years ago,” said Katherine Jellison, a historian at Ohio University whose research has focused on first ladies. She said that, like Mrs. Trump, Mrs. Truman spent much of her time running back to “her home base whenever she had the chance.” (In Mrs. Truman’s case, that was Independence, Mo.) ---
**Author:** ![aurora\_maire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aurora_maire/32/328_2.png) [@aurora\_maire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aurora_maire)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/33 "2025-05-10T21:09:19Z")
I honestly thought she wouldn’t bother to be around at all since norms and traditions are no longer a thing. But she does love to grift and it makes sense for her to take advantage of a large staff to help her in those pursuits. I imagine she updated the prenup to get set fees for her limited appearances. Plus those events give the film crew footage to use for her Amazon movie about being First Lady. ---
**Author:** ![FlikTheBlue](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fliktheblue/32/10972_2.png) [@FlikTheBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlikTheBlue)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/34 "2025-05-10T21:20:50Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I mean, good? The whole concept of First Lady is a bunch of 19th-century aristocratic bullshit, anyway. It’s her husband’s job, not hers. Mostly. I think there’s a good case to be made for Edith Wilson having been the de facto POTUS after Woodrow Wilson’s stroke. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/35 "2025-05-10T21:26:50Z")
> [@FlikTheBlue](#): > > Mostly. I think there’s a good case to be made for Edith Wilson having been the de facto POTUS after Woodrow Wilson’s stroke. She was, which was not a good thing at all. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/36 "2025-05-10T23:10:56Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > (and even more impossible, of course, for her to have precedence by any means other than whom she was married to). Mary Ann Bickerdyke ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/37 "2025-05-10T23:22:19Z")
Did your internet connection fail in the middle of writing that sentence? ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2025, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/38 "2025-05-10T23:25:07Z")
I’m sorry, I thought people might recognize the reference. General Sherman: _She ranks me_ ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2025, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/39 "2025-05-11T00:27:21Z")
While I agree that Mel has been largely absent from the White House, I did see that she appeared at a ceremony unveiling a stamp for Barbara Bush. (Notably, George W was absent from the ceremony) > **[Melania Trump Unveils New Barbara Bush Stamp in D.C. Ceremony Skipped by Son...](https://people.com/melania-trump-unveils-barbara-bush-stamp-11728952)** > > Melania Trump welcomed reporters and guests to the East Room of the White House on Thursday, May 8, where the U.S. Postal Service unveiled a stamp honoring Barbara Bush, a former first and second lady of the United States who would have turned 100... ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2025, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/40 "2025-05-11T02:01:12Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > Notably, George W was absent from the ceremony How’s his health holding up? ---
**Author:** ![PhillyGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@PhillyGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PhillyGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2025, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/41 "2025-05-11T02:22:20Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > How’s his health holding up? It is good enough for him to issue this statement: > **[Statement by President George W. Bush on Pope Leo XIV | George W. Bush...](https://www.bushcenter.org/newsroom/statement-by-president-george-w-bush-on-pope-leo-xiv)** If health was the reason for GW staying away, I think that news reports on the postage stamp ceremony would say that. I think GW doesn’t want to normalize an authoritarian regime. Why he will not go the next step, and criticize it, is possible to guess at but hard to really understand. If I was GW Bush, I would be wondering how long it will be until there is a Trump stamp, and whether post offices will be selling a Trump stamp, and that of his mother, at the same time. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2025, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217/42 "2025-05-11T02:26:54Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > Notably, George W was absent from the ceremony Also notably, Laura Bush was absent, and there was no mention of the Bush daughters. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/melania-trump-is-gone-largely-missing-in-public-not-deceased/1018217.md?page=3)