# Memo to my boss: stop adjusting yourself **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 12, 2005, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963 "2005-04-12T13:36:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/1 "2005-04-12T13:36:08Z")
Must you poke in the general direction of your genitals during the process of standing up, sitting down, after sitting in a meeting for a while, while chatting with co-workers? Trying to put this in perspective, I knew someone who pulled at the crotchal area of his pants when nervous or (non-sexually) excited, but then again HE WAS 5!! This repeated activity over time makes me think (a) what kind of underwear does this to you, (b) what’s up with your genitals that they just won’t remain unbothersome, © do you have some sort of ailment “down there” in your “special place”? NONE OF WHICH THOUGHTS ARE APPROPRIATE FOR WORK!! N.B.: Putting your hand in your pocket does not disguise what you’re doing. When we have five people sitting around a table built for four, you are not hidden enough for the table to disguise what you’re doing. Guys, what’s up with this? I can’t imagine saying something so I have to at least have some private understanding of what the hell is going on. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/2 "2005-04-12T13:41:41Z")
I dunno, for every guy that is doing this, there is some woman out there picking at her bra, presumably for the same reasons. What I’m curious about is why you spend all these meetings staring at your boss’s crotch! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/3 "2005-04-12T13:46:47Z")
Sometimes you just need to rearrange things down there. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/4 "2005-04-12T14:02:19Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > I dunno, for every guy that is doing this, there is some woman out there picking at her bra, presumably for the same reasons. > > What I’m curious about is why you spend all these meetings staring at your boss’s crotch! 😛 😛 It’s that damned peripheral vision!! I think he would consider it rude if I completely looked in the other direction during meetings, so I can’t help but catch the impression of what he is up to. I thought about the bra strap thing and somehow it just doesn’t seem equivalent when my hands go nowhere near my breastesses. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/5 "2005-04-12T14:08:15Z")
Try and picture your boss in a G-string. Would that configuration explain his movements, his attempts to make his junk comfortable? No? Okay, then try and picture him in a thong. Does that help? ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/6 "2005-04-12T14:12:09Z")
My goodness, can’t a guy just touch himself every now and again just because he wants to? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/7 "2005-04-12T14:17:03Z")
No. ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/8 "2005-04-12T14:22:42Z")
Maybe he should consider letting the boys run free and let nature take its course. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/9 "2005-04-12T14:26:27Z")
Sounds like he either a) needs to rethink his choice in underwear, and/or b) tape it to his thigh! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/10 "2005-04-12T14:29:50Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Try and picture your boss in a G-string. Would that configuration explain his movements, his attempts to make his junk comfortable? > > No? Okay, then try and picture him in a thong. Does that help? Excuse me, I need to go sweep up the pieces of my exploded skull. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/11 "2005-04-12T14:31:11Z")
> [@Greenback](#): > > Maybe he should consider letting the boys run free and let nature take its course. Do you realize that all that stands between him and us is a thin layer of gabardine? /seinfeld ---
**Author:** ![Greenback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/2bfe46/32.png) [@Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greenback)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/12 "2005-04-12T14:38:02Z")
Perhaps you should mention that the entire office would like to play with his sqeeze toy. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/13 "2005-04-12T14:58:09Z")
Some guys just ave itchy crotches. Some of us are just too darn way out there, and loincloths really aren’t modern fashion, practical though they may be. ---
**Author:** ![wonderwench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/35a633/32.png) [@wonderwench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderwench)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/14 "2005-04-12T15:01:49Z")
I had a boss like that a few years ago. He was constantly scratching his balls. The employees became immune to it after awhile - but it freaked out customers. ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/15 "2005-04-12T15:06:51Z")
I had a boss who used to rearrange himself as well. Usually after calling a sweet young thing into his office for some trumped up reason. Best reaction, from a sweet young thing who’d been around the block: “Maybe you should have a doctor look at that. Because that ain’t normal.” **gigi** , go to HR if you can. They’ll let him know that grown ups don’t play with themselves in public. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/16 "2005-04-12T15:44:44Z")
My boss does this too - I just try to ignore it, but it’s damned hard. At least he’s not also creepy guy who looks down my shirt. _sigh_ I need to find a new place to work. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/17 "2005-04-12T15:50:01Z")
As long as he isn’t sniffing his fingers after, you should consider yourself lucky. ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/18 "2005-04-12T15:50:59Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > Try and picture your boss in a G-string. Would that configuration explain his movements, his attempts to make his junk comfortable? > > No? Okay, then try and picture him in a thong. Does that help? It could just be the cockring… or maybe crabs? The mind does wander… ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/19 "2005-04-12T15:53:46Z")
Send him an anonymous email from a web-based account. Obviously, don’t choose as easily identifiable username. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/20 "2005-04-12T15:56:13Z")
At least the guy you’re talking about does his adjustments on the _outside_ of his pants. I used to work with a guy who would be standing, and in mid conversation and then thrust his hand down the front of his pants to make an adjustment. Sometimes he would even try to reach and shake the hand of someone who had just walked up. We all learned pretty quickly to never shake his hand. Hell, I’m a man. I know that sometimes your junk needs to be moved about. But, damn…at least try to be smooth and discrete about. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963.md?page=2)