# Memo to my boss: stop adjusting yourself **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 12, 2005, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963 "2005-04-12T13:36:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/21 "2005-04-12T16:05:24Z")
Maybe fight fire with fire? Do a bra adjustment and then go after that atomic wedgie? Or adjust your panty hose? I think your meetings at work are more interesting than mine… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/22 "2005-04-12T16:13:02Z")
I used to have a boss who waged an unending battle against wedgies. He was always reaching back between his cheeks to pull out a wedgie (from the outside of his clothes), but it looked like he was picking his ass while walking down the hallway. Ick. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/23 "2005-04-12T16:15:05Z")
Anonymously leave catalogs for Jockey underwear and jock itch remedies on his desk. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/24 "2005-04-12T16:37:42Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Do you realize that all that stands between him and us is a thin layer of gabardine? > > /seinfeld I’m out there, Jerry, and i’m lovin’ every minute of it. ---
**Author:** ![dublos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/25 "2005-04-12T17:27:15Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Anonymously leave catalogs for Jockey underwear and jock itch remedies on his desk. I agree on the anti-itch pamphlets/catelogs, but I think Jockey’s too mild, I think this might be a job for [UnderArmour](http://www.underarmour.com/ua2/default.asp) ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/26 "2005-04-12T17:30:57Z")
> [@Revtim](#): > > Send him an anonymous email from a web-based account. Obviously, don’t choose as easily identifiable username. Is [STOPTOUCHINGYOURGODDAMNCROTCHFROMGIGIONTHESTRAIGHTDOPEMESSAGEBOARD@gmail.com](mailto:STOPTOUCHINGYOURGODDAMNCROTCHFROMGIGIONTHESTRAIGHTDOPEMESSAGEBOARD@gmail.com) already taken? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/27 "2005-04-12T17:39:03Z")
Well hell, I do that too. I have this one pair of pants that’s like having my love meat in a courdory vice grip. And the blood being cut off from my head makes me concerned about gangrene. So the hell with your mental comfort, I’m taking care of my physical comfort. But I do try to be discreet. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/28 "2005-04-12T17:39:58Z")
> [@Hamlet](#): > > Is [STOPTOUCHINGYOURGODDAMNCROTCHFROMGIGIONTHESTRAIGHTDOPEMESSAGEBOARD@gmail.com](mailto:STOPTOUCHINGYOURGODDAMNCROTCHFROMGIGIONTHESTRAIGHTDOPEMESSAGEBOARD@gmail.com) already taken? If it’s not, I’ve got almost 50 gmail invites… ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/29 "2005-04-12T17:51:07Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Well hell, I do that too. I have this one pair of pants that’s like having my love meat in a courdory vice grip. And the blood being cut off from my head makes me concerned about gangrene. So the hell with your mental comfort, I’m taking care of my physical comfort. > > But I do try to be discreet. So at what point do you stop wearing those pants? One time would be enough for me. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/30 "2005-04-12T17:51:14Z")
He’s just trying to get perfect genital feng shui. ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/31 "2005-04-12T18:07:44Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Well hell, I do that too. I have this one pair of pants that’s like having my love meat in a courdory vice grip. And the blood being cut off from my head makes me concerned about gangrene. So the hell with your mental comfort, I’m taking care of my physical comfort. > > But I do try to be discreet. Maybe you should just wear different pants… ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/32 "2005-04-12T18:11:32Z")
Heh, I’m wondering if these bosses are muttering stuff like, ‘memo to employees: stop staring at my crotch’. I have a feeling this argument wouldn’t hold any water if the situation were reversed: a male employee complaining about a woman ‘adjusting’ her boobs in her bra. “Well why are you staring at her boobs?” everyone would ask. It would seem more of an excuse for a guy to leer at a woman. Heaven forbid I have to suffer through a long drawn out meeting with a wedgie, just because I’m afraid HR will come after me with torches or pitchforks if I try to do anything about it :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/33 "2005-04-12T18:39:54Z")
When is the last time a woman poked at her breasts while standing there talking business with you? (Office business I mean. ;)) EVERY TIME SHE STOOD THERE!! Feel free to stare at my shoulder while I adjust a bra strap. Itching and repositioning my goody bags happens in private. I can honestly say I do not stare at his crotch. Out of the corner of my averted-as-much-as-possible eye I sense him poking at That Area. Many times throughout the day and in various scenarios. If you were able to endure part of a meeting with a wedgie, why not continue in that state until such time as you can be more discreet? ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/34 "2005-04-12T18:41:56Z")
I had a board president who pulled a similar stunt to this…Called me back to the office, and during the middle of the discussion prepared to “adjust the boys” with great intensity. The Human Relations Commission decided that because I didn’t let him know I found it uncomfortable or inappropriate that there wasn’t anything they could do. Oh, and he only did it once. (I quit soon thereafter.) Gotta love those government workers and the decisions by the powers that be. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/35 "2005-04-12T18:43:09Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > So at what point do you stop wearing those pants? One time would be enough for me. When I work up the gumption to go shopping for more pants. That’s even worse than folded man-meat. ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/36 "2005-04-12T18:51:10Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > When is the last time a woman poked at her breasts while standing there talking business with you? Sadly, never. Which leads me to ask if possibly this isn’t a come-on. Y’know, I’ve tried that one a few times myself: you make a big show of redeploying the Captain and Crew, and then you give her a little wink and say “Boy, it sure is tough making room for that thing!” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/37 "2005-04-12T19:08:22Z")
I don’t think you can fully comprehend the discomfort of scrotal origami unless you’ve experienced it firsthand. A breast in a bra isn’t an appropriate analogy. One in a dough machine might come closer to imparting a representative sensation. Nevertheless, public displays in which one attempts to uncrease their piece are pretty damn inappropriate, especially in an office environment. Maybe it’s not sexual harassment but it sure as heck is generating some sexual discomfort and that simply ain’t right. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/38 "2005-04-12T19:08:44Z")
**gigi** and **mhendo** are my Favorite Posters of the Day. Bless you, my children. ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/39 "2005-04-12T19:15:36Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > Heaven forbid I have to suffer through a long drawn out meeting with a wedgie, just because I’m afraid HR will come after me with torches or pitchforks if I try to do anything about it :rolleyes: Oh, please. Fake a coughing fit, then take it out in the hallway where you can take care of business in private. Nobody wants to see that, not the women, not the men. ---
**Author:** ![Cynical\_Optimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Cynical\_Optimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cynical_Optimist)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963/40 "2005-04-12T19:44:34Z")
No doubt about it, he’s in training for his after-hours gig: Local member of a _Puppetry of the Penis_ revue. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-my-boss-stop-adjusting-yourself/298963.md?page=3)