# Memo to restaurants: Cheez Whiz SUCKS **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 17, 2001, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957 "2001-10-17T12:12:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/41 "2001-10-18T03:29:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cheesesteak \* > **…MILK…WHEY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE…WHEY…MILKFAT…MILK PROTEIN CONCENTRATE…CHEESE CULTURE ENZYMES…** Actually, “real cheese” doesn’t list its ingredients as “cheese, just cheese.” It is made of milk (duh!), cheese culture enzymes, salt and, to get that cheddary orange color we expect, OLEORESIN PAPRIKA, ANNATTO, and/or VITAMIN A PALMITATE. These are usually listed as “natural colors.” My wife is in the flavor and color industry and “natural” doesn’t mean “has anything to do with the base product.” In this case, none of them is an animal, much less dairy, product but they are not “artificial” so they are “natural.” And I adore Land o Lakes faux cheese, especially the white cheddar, which differs from the regular cheddar how? Right, no “natural” colors. However, both still have that plastic texture. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/42 "2001-10-18T03:42:07Z")
Hey, I’ve been making cheesesteaks for 6 years now on and off. Anyone who wants a really good one need only come to Harrisburg and I’ll hook you up. 🙂 For the record, I don’t care for Cheez Whiz either. American and onions. Only way to go. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/43 "2001-10-18T04:28:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Airman Doors, USAF \* > \*\*Hey, I’ve been making cheesesteaks for 6 years now on and off. Anyone who wants a really good one need only come to Harrisburg and I’ll hook you up. 🙂 > > For the record, I don’t care for Cheez Whiz either. American and onions. Only way to go. \*\* Promise? 😉 [sub]Mmmm… a real AD-made cheesesteak :)[/sub] Seriously, I can’t remember the last time I opened a jar of Cheez Whiz. I like to make cheese and broccoli baked potatoes, but I like to use Old El Paso Mild nacho topping for that. I know, it’s maybe one-half step above Cheez Whiz, but OEP cheeselike food has a spicy bite to it that Cheez Whiz does not. [sub]Yeah, I know. No flirting in the Pit. Y’all can bite me, OK?[/sub] Robin ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/44 "2001-10-18T04:34:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoid \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > > \*\* > > Oh yeah? Well…well…you guys don’t have butter tarts. So there 😛 \*\* > > If someone does not explain to me what butter tarts are soon, I’m gonna have a cow. > > I love butter. I love tarts. Please tell me how to make these two things meet. > > stoid \*\* [Here you are](http://www.our-daily-bread.com/recipes/buttet.htm) dear. I’m not a cook, but it sounded close enough. Another **Canadian** chiming in against the foulness of Cheez-Whiz. The only use I can see for the stuff, is as reactor shielding (if that). You want cheese on your fries ? Have a poutine. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/45 "2001-10-18T14:19:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Atreyu \*Does this line mean you have access to Tillamook Cheddar in Manhattan, **Uke**? \*\* In Manhattan (and certain neighborhoods of Brooklyn), we have access to EVERYTHING. Care for a slice of this killer Venezuelian Beaver Cheese? **dropzone** : What’s the matter with paprika and annatto? You saying they’re NOT natural ingredients? You saying I have to give up my Chicken Paprikash and Ropa Vieja if I want to stick to my wholefoods diet? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/46 "2001-10-18T14:24:11Z")
I said nothing of the sort. They are, legally, natural ingredients. They just aren’t supposed to be why Cheddar cheese is orange, unless you feed the cows Hungarian food. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/47 "2001-10-18T16:09:53Z")
Tillamook is ubiquitous here in Colorado as well. I agree, they make a damn fine cheddar. There _are_ some Wisconsin Cheddars that match up, but they’re generally not mass produced, nor available out of state. Never could figure that out - the only WI cheese that seems to be available outside of Wisconsin is the crap. You never see a nice 6 year old WI cheddar in the dairy case at the cheese shop. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/48 "2001-10-18T17:15:07Z")
The only thing that velveeta and cheez whiz, is worth a fuck for is dip. Dip! How Dare you tell me to put that nasty-ass shit on my nachos and in my chili! One of these days, researchers are going to find that Cheez Whiz will actually block radiation! ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/49 "2001-10-18T18:26:21Z")
Ah. Suddenly the light dawns. This thread explains the request I got about hosting a ‘cheesesteak challenge’ at the Dope-A-Ween. All attendees consider yourself warned. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/50 "2001-10-18T21:07:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by anya marie \* > \*\*\ > > One of these days, researchers are going to find that Cheez Whiz will actually block radiation! \*\* Hmmm, Cheez Whiz as sunblock. Shouldn’t be long now. (And since this is the Pit, please allow me to bitch about spelling “Cheese” as “Cheez”. The Lite-Versions of English always get my goat.) ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/51 "2001-10-19T01:05:18Z")
We’re spelling it that way because the name of the PRODUCT is “Cheez Whiz.” If they called it “Cheese Whiz,” they would be suggesting the presence of actual cheese, and opening themselves up to a lawsuit. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/52 "2001-10-19T02:00:22Z")
Actual American cheese is just a pasturized blend of other cheeses, usually cheddar, swiss, and monterey jack, and really isn’t bad. As for that cheese food, though, bleh. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2001, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/53 "2001-10-20T17:34:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\*We’re spelling it that way because the name of the PRODUCT is “Cheez Whiz.” > > If they called it “Cheese Whiz,” they would be suggesting the presence of actual cheese, and opening themselves up to a lawsuit. \*\* Yeah, I know the manufacturer called it that - they’re the people my bitch was aimed at. But I see your point - wouldn’t want people expecting real CHEESE in there. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/54 "2001-10-21T09:42:03Z")
wouldn’t it be great to see a nice thick layer of Cheez Whiz used to seal Chernobyl’s destroyed reactors. A layer of Cheez whiz, a layer of reinforced concrete, and then seal it off with more concrete. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/55 "2001-10-21T17:34:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > \*\*Hey! Some people _like_ Cheez Whiz[sup]TM[/sup]. \*\* True, and so do I, but I think that in this thread they were talking about actually eating the stuff, rather than, well, you know, that thing for which Canadians primarily use Cheeze Whiz. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/56 "2001-10-21T17:39:54Z")
From a jar of Kraft Cheez Whiz in my fidge (yes, I like the stuff, and I even like American cheese): Ingredients: cheese . . . So yes, Cheeez Whiz is cheese. Whether one likes it or not is a matter of taste, and nothing more. ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/57 "2001-10-21T18:21:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Muffin \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > > \*\*Hey! Some people _like_ Cheez Whiz[sup]TM[/sup]. \*\* > > True, and so do I, but I think that in this thread they were talking about actually eating the stuff, rather than, well, you know, that thing for which Canadians primarily use Cheeze Whiz. \*\* You mean as caulking ? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/58 "2001-10-21T18:47:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by detop \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Muffin \* > > \*\* > > > > > [@](#): > > > > > > \*Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth \* > > > \*\*Hey! Some people _like_ Cheez Whiz[sup]TM[/sup]. \*\* > > > > True, and so do I, but I think that in this thread they were talking about actually eating the stuff, rather than, well, you know, that thing for which Canadians primarily use Cheeze Whiz. \*\* > > You mean as caulking ? \*\* Uh, [looks around], yeah, that’s it, yeah, caulking. ---
**Author:** ![heresiarch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/278dde/32.png) [@heresiarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heresiarch)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2001, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957/59 "2001-10-21T22:29:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stofsky \* > \*\*Yeah, cheese. American cheese has its pluses. Personally, the best grilled cheese sandwich available (in my kitchen) has 2 slices of American for flavor & texture, a hunk of cheddar for flavor, and a slice of provelone for creaminess. Butter the bread liberally & pan fry over low heat. But the American cheese on the outsides makes the sandwich. \*\* Cheese on the outside? Doesn’t that burn your fingers? [sub]sorry, couldn’t help myself.[/sub] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memo-to-restaurants-cheez-whiz-sucks/87957.md?page=2)