# Memorable moments from the film Airplane! (Open spoilers) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 14, 2019, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059 "2019-07-14T07:07:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/1 "2019-07-14T07:07:20Z")
I don’t know if we have to worry about spoiling a film such as Airplane! but I posted it in my thread title anyway. It’s available on amazon prime and I’ve watched it 5 times this week. Surely, you can’t be serious. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/2 "2019-07-14T08:03:14Z")
I am, and don’t call me Shirley. “Oh stewardess, I speak jive.” ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/3 "2019-07-14T11:57:50Z")
Looks like the foot’s on the other hand now… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/4 "2019-07-14T12:03:20Z")
Kramer on phone:No, we can’t do that, the risk of a flame-out is too great. Keep 'em at 24,000. (pause) No, feet. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/5 "2019-07-14T12:35:18Z")
[Striker](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqLjBJPi1Jw) [This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmW-ScmGRMA)is also one of my favorite bits. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/6 "2019-07-14T13:22:41Z")
[This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJBZmuv7FtQ) has always been my favorite line. On top of being funny, it’s a well timed bit of comic relief during an oddly suspenseful part of a comedy. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/7 "2019-07-14T13:24:52Z")
For some reason, [this](https://youtu.be/xlDXQdgx_QU?t=350) is my favorite bit of the whole movie (just the three seconds). ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/8 "2019-07-14T15:04:55Z")
I work in a small office with both a Roger and a Victor. I’ve been patiently waiting the past 7 years for someone named Clarence to drop by the office just to break out the perfect lines. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/9 "2019-07-14T15:15:31Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I work in a small office with both a Roger and a Victor. I’ve been patiently waiting the past 7 years for someone named Clarence to drop by the office just to break out the perfect lines. Just wanted to say, Good luck, we’re all counting on you. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/10 "2019-07-14T16:39:52Z")
[“You can tell me, I’m a doctor.”](https://youtu.be/B_nzHrrSlsc) ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/11 "2019-07-14T16:53:31Z")
One of my favourite lines: “Do you know what it’s like to fall in the mud and get kicked… in the head… with an iron boot? Of course you don’t, no one does. It never happens. Sorry, Ted, that’s a dumb question… skip that.” ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/12 "2019-07-14T18:29:24Z")
“Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.” (That was my first post on FB the day after Trump was elected.) ---
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2019, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/13 "2019-07-14T22:24:39Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/n2A194yTWoQ/maxresdefault.jpg "Have You Ever Seen a Grown Man Naked? - Airplane! (3/10) Movie CLIP (1980) HD") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2A194yTWoQ) The greatest scene ever filmed in an airplane cockpit. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2019, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/14 "2019-07-15T01:24:59Z")
Don’t give me that white zone shit again. ---
**Author:** ![dorvann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/df705f/32.png) [@dorvann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorvann)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2019, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/15 "2019-07-15T05:24:31Z")
Any of the scenes with Johnny always crack me up. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5neabZ5pVQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5neabZ5pVQ) ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2019, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/16 "2019-07-15T13:24:25Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I work in a small office with both a Roger and a Victor. I’ve been patiently waiting the past 7 years for someone named Clarence to drop by the office just to break out the perfect lines. Just wanted to say, Good luck, we’re all counting on you. ---
**Author:** ![CaptMurdock](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/captmurdock/32/11736_2.png) [@CaptMurdock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptMurdock)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2019, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/17 "2019-07-15T22:10:08Z")
Okay, as good a place as any to ask this: Early in the film, Captain Oveur (Peter Graves) takes a call on the white courtesy phone from the Mayo Clinic (complete with mayonnaise jars in the background). Then the operator breaks in and and tells him he has an emergency call from “Mr. Ham on line five.” Oveur tells the operator, “All right, put Ham on five and hold the Mayo!” Now, should not that have been “Put Ham on _white_ and hold the Mayo”? Did Graves blow the joke? ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2019, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/18 "2019-07-15T22:53:08Z")
> [@CaptMurdock](#): > > Okay, as good a place as any to ask this: > > Early in the film, Captain Oveur (Peter Graves) takes a call on the white courtesy phone from the Mayo Clinic (complete with mayonnaise jars in the background). Then the operator breaks in and and tells him he has an emergency call from “Mr. Ham on line five.” Oveur tells the operator, “All right, put Ham on five and hold the Mayo!” > > Now, should not that have been “Put Ham on _white_ and hold the Mayo”? Did Graves blow the joke? I don’t think so. IIRC, wasn’t the quote “Gimme Ham on five and hold the Mayo”? Also IIRC, in old timey diner lingo if a waitress told the cook “Gimme ham on five” it meant “A ham sandwich for table five” or something along those lines. ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2019, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/19 "2019-07-16T00:18:18Z")
Ooh, a debate! I don’t think Peter Graves blew the joke. It’s supposed to _sound_ like, “Give me ham on rye and hold the mayo,” (or white if you prefer) not actually be that. Mr. Hamm is on line five, and the Mayo Clinic gets put on hold. Yes, it’s contrived, but it’s internally consistent, which is about all you can hope for from a pun. ---
**Author:** ![Temporary\_Name](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@Temporary\_Name](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Temporary_Name)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2019, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059/20 "2019-07-16T04:18:42Z")
I always find this example of how quotable the movie is to be amusing. One weekend I was supposed to spend the entire day with my young nephew, but I had a rare opportunity and wanted to disappear for few hours. I had recently purchased a very inexpensive DVD with both _Airplane!_ and \*Top Secret! \*included. I told the kid to watch an old favorite movie of mine with his grandmother, and when I returned we would discuss it. So I got home shortly after the movie ended and my nephew ran up to me and breathlessly exclaimed: “Uncle **Temporary** , you should have stayed and watched the movie with us- you would have loved it! They stole ALL your jokes!” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorable-moments-from-the-film-airplane-open-spoilers/837059.md?page=2)