# Memorial card etiquette question **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 22, 2010, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorial-card-etiquette-question/533370 "2010-03-22T18:38:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorial-card-etiquette-question/533370/1 "2010-03-22T18:38:03Z")
I have a bunch of memorial cards to fill out. On one side, I have to mail out a ton of cards to each person who donated in the name of Person X. On the other side, I have to send a card for each person who donated to the family of Person X. It is the latter that I have a question on. I am filling out separate cards for each, not a problem. What I want to know is would it be rude to put all of the cards to the family of the deceased, with separate envelopes, together into one big envelope, thus saving postage, or must I mail each memorial card separately to the same address? They all came in the mail within 1-2 days so it’s not as though I was sitting on them. What say you? ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorial-card-etiquette-question/533370/2 "2010-03-22T18:50:38Z")
What’s a memorial card? Is that the card they give at funerals, with info about the deceased? ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorial-card-etiquette-question/533370/3 "2010-03-22T18:53:45Z")
No. Sorry I wasn’t clear! Basically, I am giving out two sets of cards. To the donor: > [@](#): > > We have received your donation in memory of X. As requested, a card has been sent out to the family. And to the family: > [@](#): > > We have received a donation in memory of X from Mr. & Mrs. \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. Say I got 10 of the first donation and have to send out cards to each donor - I also have to send 10 cards to the family informing them. I am asking if it is appropriate to put all 10 cards together and mail or is that too, I don’t know, hurtful to get them all like that and should I have them in separate envelopes. We are a third party charity and the deceased family has asked donations be sent to us. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorial-card-etiquette-question/533370/4 "2010-03-22T19:01:00Z")
If you’re a non-profit, I see nothing wrong with combining all the family cards into one mailing, or alternatively, dispense with sending them a card for each donation, instead, send them a letter expressing thanks, and include a list of the donors. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorial-card-etiquette-question/533370/5 "2010-03-22T19:03:16Z")
I’m trying to remember, and I’m pretty sure that my family has received all the little cards in one big envelope. If you have the discretion to do so, it might be nice to include a cover letter to the family from your organization, saying something appropriate, such as “We thank you for thinking of Our Charity during this sad time for your family, and enclose 10 memorial cards received in tribute to Dead Person. With sincere condolences, etc.” ---
**Author:** ![jonesj2205](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecc23a/32.png) [@jonesj2205](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jonesj2205)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorial-card-etiquette-question/533370/6 "2010-03-22T19:12:35Z")
My wife’s family received one card and a list from the non-profit detailing donations in her father’s name. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorial-card-etiquette-question/533370/7 "2010-03-22T19:16:06Z")
The letter idea is an awesome one. Thank you, delphica! That is exactly what I will do. A bit less crude than a bunch of envelopes showing up together. The reason I asked is that someone complained to me once that it was rude of me to send all of the cards together like that. Now she was in the middle of her grief and everyone reacts differently…but then I get people on the other side bitching to me if I use even one extra stamp because it’s not going to the charity. So I was trying to find a happy medium. The letter route sounds perfect. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/memorial-card-etiquette-question/533370/8 "2010-03-23T07:58:45Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > So I was trying to find a happy medium. The letter route sounds perfect. Sounds like a great idea. I once worked for a non-profit and we too would send those out, and many people (rightly) complained that we were “wasting money on postage” by sending them too many mailings. For that reason, we would often wait for several weeks before sending anything, so we would not have to mail anything again.