# Men and Body Shaming **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 2, 2020, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571 "2020-11-02T18:51:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/141 "2020-11-03T15:46:50Z")
I started male pattern baldness early in life, I’ve learned to live with it and just shave my head. I think the look suits me and am not bothered by it. My in laws however bring it up now and again in a gentle sort of teasing way. They don’t know me like that. We are not close friends. Many men care about their loss of hair and it’s a big deal to _them_ and these people have no idea how I really feel about it. The prevalence of morbid obesity among that family is high. They may push me too far and one day that may get brought up. In a gentle sort of teasing way… ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/142 "2020-11-03T16:29:26Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > The prevalence of morbid obesity among that family is high. They may push me too far and one day that may get brought up. In a gentle sort of teasing way… No. As the ‘paunchy but not obese’ one in my extended family, I have to REALLY watch it. ---
**Author:** ![saucywench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@saucywench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saucywench)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/143 "2020-11-03T17:18:45Z")
I’m sorry OP, but every time I visit this thread Robin Williams as Dr. Roof is running on a loop. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/144 "2020-11-03T18:27:25Z")
> [@Sitnam](#): > > I started male pattern baldness early in life, I’ve learned to live with it and just shave my head. I think the look suits me and am not bothered by it. My in laws however bring it up now and again in a gentle sort of teasing way. Yeah… I hear ya. On top of being 5"'5", I’m bald too. I rock it tho. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/145 "2020-11-03T18:29:34Z")
> [@saucywench](#): > > I’m sorry OP, but every time I visit this thread Robin Williams as Dr. Roof is running on a loop. I don’t know the reference. ---
**Author:** ![saucywench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@saucywench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saucywench)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/146 "2020-11-03T18:31:32Z")
[![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/sN5MH57wuu4/hqdefault.jpg "Robin Williams as Dr. Roof") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN5MH57wuu4) ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/147 "2020-11-03T18:35:24Z")
Oh… No worries. (She’s STILL alive???) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/148 "2020-11-03T18:37:44Z")
Serious question for the OP: Has anyone ever done this to you? You mention two things, penis size and height. As far as penis size, how would anyone know? I’ve got a ton of male friends, and I’ve mercifully got no idea what they’re carrying down there. A few women have seen my penis, which, while average (so I’ve been told) isn’'t prodigious by any means. I can’t imagine any of them making fun. If they did Id either leave or kick them out depending. Size is more obvious, but have you ever really been shamed for it? I mean like really mocked and insulted, not just turned down for a date. I’m having a hard time seeing that happen. It’s an impediment, but not a deal breaker. Jon Stewart and Dennis Kucinich are both very short, and have what appear to be happy marriages. And of course there is Prince, who did well for himself. Fat shaming is real, and does happen to men, but as far as I can tell women get it a lot worse. ETA: I have heard the “must be compensating” line when some dipshit has a loud car and or other obnoxious thing, but that’s just a traditional way to give dipshits shit. Who knows what their actual dick looks like? ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/149 "2020-11-03T18:44:57Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > Serious question for the OP: Has anyone ever done this to you? You mention two things, penis size and height. As far as penis size, how would anyone know? I’ve got a ton of male friends, and I’ve mercifully got no idea what they’re carrying down there. A few women have seen my penis, which, while average (so I’ve been told) isn’'t prodigious by any means. I can’t imagine any of them making fun. If they did Id either leave or kick them out depending. I hear, “they must have small dicks” a lot, not considering that good people may not be so endowed. I’m sorry, is that the question? And yes… The short thing is brought up often… Most not caring how insensitive they are. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/150 "2020-11-03T18:47:53Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > I think we all have physical ideals, realistic or not. Is it okay to state our preferences? Of course. Denigrating someone based solely on their physical form is not. If someone is superficial enough to reject a person solely on their height, would you really want to be with them? Yeah, I think this is right. No one can really control what catches their eye. We all have preferences. It’s often tactful not to state them out loud. But we all know that short men and fat women start with a big disadvantage in the dating pool. And while of course it’s true that an awesome person can be really attractive despite having physical disadvantages… you know, most of us aren’t all THAT awesome. Still if you honestly think that a person who is truly awesome in other ways, and a really good fit for you, couldn’t possibly attract you due to their size, or shape, or similar superficial thing, well, that doesn’t reflect terribly well on you. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/151 "2020-11-03T18:48:08Z")
How? how would anybody know that they must have small dicks? How can they tell? Yes, it’s used as an insult to people who gun their motorcycles or play their car stereo so the whole city can hear it, but it’s not literally stating a fact about their penis. It’s just an expression denouncing show-offs and jerks. And I was asking you if it had happened to you personally. ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/152 "2020-11-03T18:51:21Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > And I was asking you if it had happened to you personally. No… No one’s made fun of me. That’s the thing… It’s rude to act as if small wangs are making people assholes and/or to be mocked. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/153 "2020-11-03T19:24:03Z")
I agree that dudes with small wangs are probably collateral damage in the takedown of, for lack of better description, assholes in fast cars. The point is to hit them where it hurts - the women lobbing this insult are unlikely to actually care about the size of a man’s penis, they just know that _this particular kind of man_ believes it matters, so are going for the most hurtful thing they can think of. I am _not_ defending this behavior, just trying to explain it. I am opposed to body shaming across the board. I’m reminded of a story I read about a woman who worked for a horribly misogynistic boss. He sexually harassed her, treated her like garbage, minimized her accomplishments, until finally she reached the breaking point and decided to quit. When he subjected her to his last tirade, she looked him dead in the eye, and said, “You’re such a cunt.” Not because she generally supported the derogatory use of that word, but because she knew it was the gravest insult _he_ could imagine. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/154 "2020-11-03T19:52:45Z")
I want to add that my heart goes out to anyone who has been shamed in this way. Love is so much stronger than some arbitrary list of physical attributes. I wasn’t attracted to **Sr. Weasel** when I first met him. With time, I fell in love with his intelligence, compassion and integrity, things that had nothing to do with how he looked. And then one day I remember thinking, “he has such beautiful eyes.” And before I knew it I was attracted to every part of him. Now I think it’s absolute madness that I wasn’t immediately smitten. The irony is that objectively he’s a pretty attractive man, well out of my league, but it’s in a sexy librarian kind of way so he flew under my radar. And probably some women did discriminate because of his height - he’s 5’7" - oh well. Their loss. I love him so much. ---
**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/155 "2020-11-03T19:59:04Z")
" I’m sure being 5’5" sucks for a guy" It really has not been too bad for me. ---
**Author:** ![saucywench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@saucywench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saucywench)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/156 "2020-11-03T20:04:28Z")
Is there a non-derogatory use of that word? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/157 "2020-11-03T20:05:36Z")
I don’t mind it showing up in erotica, you know, to describe an actual vagina. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/158 "2020-11-03T20:12:48Z")
> [@MyFootsZZZ](#): > > I hear, “they must have small dicks” a lot, not considering that good people may not be so endowed. Yeah, but what they’re really saying is that “they must perceive their own dicks to be insufficient, or else they wouldn’t be overcompensating by driving an enormous tank”. You’re reading way too much into it and internalizing it. ---
**Author:** ![saucywench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@saucywench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saucywench)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/159 "2020-11-03T20:17:40Z")
Gross! YMMV (Yes My Mileage Varied) ---
**Author:** ![MyFootsZZZ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/myfootszzz/32/12580_2.png) [@MyFootsZZZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MyFootsZZZ)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/160 "2020-11-03T20:18:34Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > You’re reading way too much into it and internalizing it. I know what it means. Most people aren’t literally laughing at small men, but to use it is insensitive. It’s supposed to sting. Not everyone clarifies they’re being facetious after saying shit like that. And it’s still body shame. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571.md?page=9)