# Men and Body Shaming

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [November 2, 2020, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571 "2020-11-02T18:51:37Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Showing post:** 190

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**Author:** ![YWTF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/d07c76/32.png) [@YWTF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YWTF)\
**Post date:** [November 4, 2020, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-body-shaming/924571/190 "2020-11-04T16:14:55Z")

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> [@MyFootsZZZ](#):
>
> I’m 5’5" and I HATE being a short male. I don’t think people know what it’s like unless they are short themselves. I sometimes feel ugly, or at least that other people perceive me as being ugly.
> 
> These are things we really should look at, alongside other things that are unjust. Why is it so okay to body shame men?

It’s not okay to shame men. Sorry that you feel rejected and judged for superficial shit out of your control.

Both men and women are body shamed, but I think the way they are shamed differ in ways worth discussing. People are more likely to underestimate the sting associated with teasing men, so an insensitive comment here, a crass joke there aren’t jaw dropping offenses. Men aren’t supposed to be vain, you see. They aren’t supposed to care about their looks because their value comes from other sources.

Tease a woman about her cankles and you might trigger water works. Not just because women are supposedly more emotional/can’t take a joke/whatever, but because a woman with cankles is widely seen as a Very Bad Thing. There is a lot of value in having the right kind of ankles, and it’s a tragedy when that doesn’t happen. This is the message that society hits us over the head with so hard we don’t even consciously feel it.

Tease a man about his height and the expectation is that he’ll come back within snappy rejoinder. Because men are supposed to be tough, and they are also supposed to be well-rounded enough to not let a few inches destroy his worth to the world. He can overcome falling short of handsomeness standards, because handsomeness has never been the sole criterion for determining male worth. This is another the message we’re programmed to believe.

The above obviously overly simplifies a lot, but I believe this explains your perception of differences between men and women.

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