# Men and Football **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 14, 2017, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793 "2017-10-14T07:18:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![octopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/octopus/32/3716_2.png) [@octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/octopus)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2017, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/41 "2017-10-16T04:54:42Z")
> [@pullin](#): > > My wife says that ball sports knowledge is the way men establish the pecking order in a gathering. Football and baseball are king (as far as stats and records). Despite my location, I’ve never managed to get interested in football. I prefer doing something myself, rather than watching others. > > If I may quote myself from a post a few years ago: > \*I’m 60 and have never been able to converse knowledgeably about sports. > > In most social events, the men invariably gather in a group and talk about who did what with which ball last week. Apparently, the male-behavior-regulating-commitee met decades ago and ruled this the only allowable subject for men. For me, it means I stand around at gatherings making half-hearted attempts to join in, but am always rebuffed for violating the Prime Directive. > > Other male: “Whatcha been up to pullin?” > me: “Well, I went to Kentucky last month and joined a historical cave expedition by the park service. You see, we were only allowed tools from the 1800’s and had to carry burning lanterns and explore only with period specific guideli…” > Other male: “Did ya’ll see when Buford throwed that ball yesterday?” > > a little later… > > Other male: “What’s goin’ on, pullin?” > me: “I’m outfitting my boat to travel the entire Laguna Madre this spring. I’m using a fuel-flow meter and measuring my total fuel requirements. It’s a really interesting flyway for bird migration and I’ve also…” > Other male: “Did anybody hear they’s tradin’ Buford cuz he couldn’t catch them balls last week?” > > a little later… > > Other male: “What’s shakin’ pullin?” > me: “Well, I was wandering around the deer lease in the four-wheeler last week, and I found the foundations of an old homestead. I saw some odd shaped rocks in heavy brush and measured them with a laser measure. They were in an exact rectangle and further back I found some perrenials growing in an exact straight line! These were obviously…” > Other male: “Did ya’ll see when Buford dropped that ball Sunday?” > > For some reason, I simply cannot grasp the appeal of watching other men dress in matching outfits and play with balls. And my inability to master this aspect of adulthood puts me forever on the outside of male camaradarie. > > Sigh. Maybe one day I’ll grow up. \* Answer the question with a sentence or two then let people ask some questions. It’ll get a conversation going. Once you hit paragraph stage with your initial answer to their question the asker thinks you are entering Grandpa Simpson territory. Now, concerning sports, you don’t have to memorize minutia to watch a game. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2017, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/42 "2017-10-16T05:04:27Z")
> [@anomalous1](#): > > Is this a societal thing; men are supposed to like football because they’re men? Not all men like football. I, for one, don’t think it’s quite as boring as golf, but it’s pretty close. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Strangelove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.strangelove/32/6613_2.png) [@Dr.Strangelove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Strangelove)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2017, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/43 "2017-10-16T05:32:22Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I cannot understand the mindset of someone who will root for a fictional hero in a scripted movie to overcome their conflict, but cannot begin to empathize with _real life people_ doing the same thing, unscripted, live, in front of a nation. The former is fake people doing a real thing, fictionally; the latter is real people doing a fake thing, in reality. The rules of sports are just so… arbitrary. I just can’t interest myself in how people interact with such a narrowly defined set of rules, for a goal that’s ultimately meaningless. Overcoming adversity is certainly interesting–but (to me) only when it’s a real thing, like building an airplane or rocket or quantum computer. Or, alternatively, taking out a bad guy or saving some innocents from danger. It’s also interesting even if the participants are fictional, because at least I understand the purpose of what they’re trying to achieve. But sports are just a bunch of made-up rules that have no analog to anything real. The best I can do is that they are a crude simulation of war, but even that’s a stretch. In case there’s any confusion, I’m _not_ saying sports are faked. I’m saying the rules represent a fake thing. Or perhaps more accurately, they’re entirely self-referential: their only purpose is to enable the game itself. There is no outside achievement, like learning something about the universe or doing something that’s never been done before. Of course, people are welcome to enjoy what they want–the only time sports really bother me are when people get so emotionally invested that it spreads beyond the game itself–like when fans go into a foul mood when their team loses, and take it out on others. Not everyone does this, but plenty do. If you like the emotional rollercoaster, fine, but limit it to the game… ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2017, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/44 "2017-10-16T12:50:57Z")
> [@Dr.Strangelove](#): > > The former is fake people doing a real thing, fictionally; the latter is real people doing a fake thing, in reality. Right. And just as appreciating fiction usually involves some “willing suspension of disbelief” where the reader or viewer pretends that what they’re reading or viewing is more than just something that someone made up, appreciating sports usually involves an analogous attitude where the viewer pretends that it matters who wins. (And yes, in both cases, there are people who take it way too seriously and don’t know when to stop pretending.) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2017, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/45 "2017-10-16T13:24:04Z")
I’ve given up trying to understand people’s interest in football. It’s just the way things are on this planet. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2017, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/46 "2017-10-16T16:37:47Z")
I like football. I got the ability to understand it from…my mother - the biggest Dallas Cowboys fan on Earth. Seriously, she watches historical games on the NFL channel when the regular season is over and you don’t be in the same room when they made a mistake circa 1976 because you are going to lose your hearing. I don’t obsess over it though. I haven’t watched a game live this season. However, I can’t understand why people think that football isn’t strategic. It is the most strategic major sport in existence. Even the coaches are key players during the game. There is a reason why football video games often let you play the role of coach while that concept would be ridiculous for sports like soccer. Decisions and strategy matter as much as the actual execution. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2017, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/47 "2017-10-16T18:06:07Z")
I never minded watching sports with my ex (luckily he had no interest in basketball. That would have been a deal breaker). Of course we’d usually be at our local bar so it was a very social thing but I did pay attention and when I didn’t understand a call or something he \*seemed \*glad to explain. And then we went home on got on with our lives. He didn’t feel the need to keep talking about it. I can understand enjoying football as much as I can understand enjoying anything, I guess, but what’s with the need to recite stats and replay it over and over and over and have it dominate the conversation for hours at a time? Mondays at my office are almost unbearable with these man children going on and on and on. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2017, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/48 "2017-10-16T21:15:42Z")
> [@WOOKINPANUB](#): > > …but what’s with the need to recite stats and replay it over and over and over and have it dominate the conversation for hours at a time? Mondays at my office are almost unbearable with these man children going on and on and on. What thing do you greatly like, and share with your friends? I’d like to infantilize you for it as a vehicle for my own sense of smug superiority. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/49 "2017-10-17T10:17:13Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > Surely you must know that we don’t watch sports for the outfits. You must understand nobody’s ever said they were excited to see everyone in the same uniform. > > Do you honestly think it’s about the outfits? Then why do I see so many people wearing the jerseys, numbers, and even players names everywhere? It seems that the outfits are extremely important to the fans, considering they spend a lot on them and frequently even wear them to work. I’m a huge fan of airshows, but I don’t dress up like one of the Blue Angels when I go out. > [@Steken](#): > > If uninterrupted, how long do your answers usually run, and how detailed do they usually get? > > I have found that in social situations where no one can reasonably be expected to care about a given hobby or interest of mine, … You may have a point here, and I’d be the first to admit missing subtle social cues on this sort of thing. But I still notice a curious similarity in men who insist all conversations revolve around sports. They can never tell you about _doing_ something. They can only tell you about _watching_ something. And man can they tell you. The following is the literal truth. I’ve routinely listened to the “sportsboys” and boss rehash the weekend’s game for 45+ minutes in the hallway. Then been scolded by the same boss for a 10 minute conversation with another coworker about camping. Actually threatened a write-up for wasting time on non-work conversations. Several years ago, my son was in his first month as an airline pilot, and I chose a route so I could ride as his passenger. While trying to tell a coworker about the trip on Monday, the office’s alpha sportsboy literally pushed between us and started relating something about the Cowboys. In my experience the louder men talk about football, the less they actually do. ---
**Author:** ![zimaane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a3d4f5/32.png) [@zimaane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zimaane)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/50 "2017-10-17T15:44:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Football is like chess with pigeons. It doesn’t get more strategic than baseball. The lineup, the pitch selection, the defensive shift, the bunt, the base stealing, the bullpen use, the pinch hitter, the double switch, the long at-bat battle, and on and on. Every action is half strategy, half execution. Football is 15% strategy, 85% execution. Agree with you about baseball, but I think football is almost as strategy driven, Consider that on every play, the offense has to choose between pass and run, and then whether to throw deep or shallow, to the side or over the middle. And the defense is not passive, they have to choose whether to blitz or hang back. And then you get to 4th down, and you have to decide to punt or take the risk of going for it… That sort of thing, along with the sheer athleticism of many of the players, makes it such an entertaining game. ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/51 "2017-10-17T18:13:06Z")
> [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](#): > > What thing do you greatly like, and share with your friends? I’d like to infantilize you for it as a vehicle for my own sense of smug superiority. If I dominated the conversation, for hours on end, in my place of business no less, I’d deserve to be infantilized. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/52 "2017-10-17T18:50:09Z")
Listen carefully to the language: “_I just can’t understand why we couldn’t manage to score on Eisenberg last week, but the next game against Cape Podunk should be no problem for us_.” I hear teams spoken of in the first person plural by fans fairly often. If that is not a strong indicator of the social/tribal aspect of the sport, I am not sure what would be. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/53 "2017-10-17T19:12:04Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > Listen carefully to the language: “_I just can’t understand why we couldn’t manage to score on Eisenberg last week, but the next game against Cape Podunk should be no problem for us_.” I hear teams spoken of in the first person plural by fans fairly often. If that is not a strong indicator of the social/tribal aspect of the sport, I am not sure what would be. IIRC, there was a psychology book that pointed out how a football fan uninterruptedly explained over the course of a single sentence that we’d had a real chance of winning until they made that one foolish mistake. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/54 "2017-10-17T19:28:32Z")
Can I just say, I’ve run into a lot more “You like sportsball?” people than “You don’t like football?” people in my life. And this thread is a perfect example of it. ---
**Author:** ![ISiddiqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/97f17d/32.png) [@ISiddiqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ISiddiqui)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/55 "2017-10-17T19:43:10Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > There is a reason why football video games often let you play the role of coach while that concept would be ridiculous for sports like soccer. Er… what? > **[Football Manager](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Football_Manager)** > > Football Manager (also known as Worldwide Soccer Manager in North America from 2004 to 2008) is a series of football management simulation video games developed by British developer Sports Interactive and published by Sega. The game began its life in 1992 as Championship Manager. However, following the break-up of their partnership with original publishers Eidos Interactive, triggered by the "fiasco" release of CM4 in 2003, Sports Interactive lost the naming rights to Eidos Interactive, but ret... ---
**Author:** ![mack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mack)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793/56 "2017-10-17T20:03:54Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > I like the strategy in football (akin to a human chess match), and the physical feats are occasionally majestic. Likewise. I’m not a die-hard fan or Sunday couch potato, but I do like when football season rolls around for the above reasons and check in on a few games each week. I don’t really chat about it with anyone, though. I look forward to two sporting events: the football season and the Tour de France. That’s about it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-football/798793.md?page=2)