# Men and sexual assault **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 19, 2010, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024 "2010-05-19T17:34:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/21 "2010-05-19T20:37:00Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > You lose, I got a 14 y/o victim and her mother to chuckle when I saw then in the ER, and I’ve used humor with _many_ trauma pts. But were you joking about the rape itself? Let’s get this thread back on topic. I was repeatedly raped by a _very_ close male relative as a child. It was nasty, violent, and the purpose was to put me in my place and/or force me to kill myself. I had no recourse. There were no agencies in place to help me, and i couldn’t have gone to one if it existed because I would have “disappeared.” If you think it’s tough for male rape victims here and now, try to imagine to going through it in Northern Idaho in the early 70’s. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/22 "2010-05-19T20:57:51Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > Then fine. I take it back. You can now answer that you’ve been made to feel fearful or uncomfortable about anything due to a sexual situation, provided it was a non-consensual situation. So being fearful about not being able to get it up still doesn’t count, but being fearful about possible job repercussions does. I wanted to post something like, “What? There are people who’ve had sexual experiences where they _weren’t_ uncomfortable??” but I was worried people would think I’m being flippant about rape. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/23 "2010-05-19T21:04:32Z")
Oh Czarcasm. What a terrible, terrible thing to endure. I am so sorry that happened to you. What do you mean when you say, "i couldn’t have gone to one if it existed because I would have “disappeared.” ? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/24 "2010-05-19T21:15:09Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > Oh Czarcasm. What a terrible, terrible thing to endure. I am so sorry that happened to you. > > What do you mean when you say, "i couldn’t have gone to one if it existed because I would have “disappeared.” ? It means I would have been taken along on a trip to Sandpoint to deliver cedar shakes, and this relative would have told the authorities, eventually, that I had run away. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/25 "2010-05-19T21:15:19Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > I wanted to post something like, “What? There are people who’ve had sexual experiences where they _weren’t_ uncomfortable??” but I was worried people would think I’m being flippant about rape. ☹ There’s good uncomfortable, like being alone with someone new and having normal animal reactions when your clothes are still on and still being not 100% sure of everyone’s intentions. Then there’s bad uncomfortable, like a woman coming up to you around a lot of other people at a party, moving to embrace you but then sticking their finger in some place unexpected. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/26 "2010-05-19T21:19:17Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I was repeatedly raped by a _very_ close male relative as a child. It was nasty, violent, and the purpose was to put me in my place and/or force me to kill myself. I had no recourse. There were no agencies in place to help me, and i couldn’t have gone to one if it existed because I would have “disappeared.” If you think it’s tough for male rape victims here and now, try to imagine to going through it in Northern Idaho in the early 70’s. This post is about getting this thread back on topic?:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/27 "2010-05-19T21:24:54Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > This post is about getting this thread back on topic?:rolleyes: Being that this thread is about male experiences with being raped, yah, kinda. 😕😕😕 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/28 "2010-05-19T21:26:22Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > This post is about getting this thread back on topic?:rolleyes: I am discussing voting choice #2 in the poll. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/29 "2010-05-19T21:30:39Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > This post is about getting this thread back on topic?:rolleyes: An eyeroll in response to a post about being repeatedly raped? Seriously? The Dope is blowing my mind lately. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/30 "2010-05-19T21:41:06Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > This post is about getting this thread back on topic?:rolleyes: Very classy, brah. I’m sorry that you had to go through that, **Czar**. Your real life experiences, not **outlierrn** ’s eyeroll. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/31 "2010-05-19T22:16:01Z")
What kind of man claims he’s been “sexually assaulted” by a female? That’s just ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/32 "2010-05-19T22:16:43Z")
Yeah, OK, my bad, I just had a moment of mistaken gender indentity. Czarcasm, I apologize. I thought you were challenging my response to **Alice\_in\_Wonderland** and mistook you for female at that moment. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard some variation of ‘guys shit isn’t really that bad, so let’s get back to us.’ I get spiky about it. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/33 "2010-05-19T22:17:23Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > What kind of man claims he’s been “sexually assaulted” by a female? That’s just ridiculous. I imagine the type of man who _HAS_ been sexually assaulted by a female. God these threads are depressing. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/34 "2010-05-19T22:19:52Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > Hey, me too. Crazy! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/35 "2010-05-19T22:21:02Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > What kind of man claims he’s been “sexually assaulted” by a female? That’s just ridiculous. **Riggy** speaks the truth. If I told people I was raped or sexually harassed by a woman I’d be mocked. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/36 "2010-05-19T22:23:21Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > What kind of man claims he’s been “sexually assaulted” by a female? That’s just ridiculous. It may be an alien concept to many (and it probably doesn’t happen often), but not all guys enjoy having their junk grabbed without permission. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/37 "2010-05-19T22:23:31Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > I imagine the type of man who _HAS_ been sexually assaulted by a female. > > God these threads are depressing. OK - I’m waiting for the men who checked that box to start rolling out the sob stories. I’m sure I’ll feel really bad for all these poor, helpless victims\*. :rolleyes: \*To be clear I’m still talking about anyone who said they were sexually assaulted by a female, not the guy who said he was repeatedly raped by his uncle as a kid - that’s a bit of a different situation. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/38 "2010-05-19T22:26:03Z")
My shit is that I’m the first, and so far only, to post #1. This forms some of my earliest memories and is the reason I’ve spent most of my adult life alone, the romances I’ve had, few and far between have mostly ended badly, and yeah, I’ve spent a lot of time and money on the problem. I also answered yes to #3, I’ve had unwelcome physical contact from a coworker, clearly sexual, that I have chosen not to made an issue of. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/39 "2010-05-19T22:26:07Z")
**Rigamarole** , what is it that’s so hard to believe about that? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2010, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024/40 "2010-05-19T22:27:40Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > OK - I’m waiting for the men who checked that box to start rolling out the sob stories. I’m sure I’ll feel really bad for all these poor, helpless victims\*. :rolleyes: So you don’t think it would be possible for a large woman to terrorize a small man? How about if she was wearing a strap-on? Or had a gun/knife/other weapon? I’m not saying it happens with the same regularity as man on woman, but I’ve met enough big crazy women to imagine it could happen in the wrong circumstances. My dad is 5’4" and weighs about 115 lbs - I bet a lot of women could mess him up if they decided the wanted to. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-sexual-assault/540024.md?page=3)