# Men and the pain of labor

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [January 9, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569 "2009-01-09T19:28:10Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/41 "2009-01-09T21:53:57Z")

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I’m feeling pretty manly. I made it all the way through **SmartAleq** ’s last post and only whinced a dozen or so times.

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**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/42 "2009-01-09T21:57:43Z")

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> [@Max\_Torque](#):
>
> If women had a higher pain tolerance than men, wouldn’t _they_ be the ones giving each other friendly slugs on the arm all the time? “Hey there, Jessica, what’s up! \>PUNCH\<”

We do. Well, some of us. My daughter and I tend to get into the arm-punch fights a lot. She fucking punches HARD, too. 😃 The funny thing is, one day my husband decided he would try to outlast the punch fight with her (I hate to say it, but neither of us hold back with her because she sure as hell doesn’t hold back on us!) and lost big-time. He had drill that weekend, and had to explain to a bunch of guys who have met my oh-so-cute-and-sweet-and-damn-if-she-were-legal-OMG-dude-your-daughter-is-dangerously-cute-and-sweet daughter that said daughter was the reason his arm was black and blue from elbow to shoulder and he was barely able to lift anything.

I had 2 older brothers, and while I wasn’t what I would consider a tom-boy, I can hold my own with any guy. My brothers used to like to do the “hey sis, stand right there and **don’t fucking move** while I throw this knife between your toes” gag. I have had to wobble into the house with pocketknives sticking an inch into the top of my foot enough times that _nothing_ makes me flinch. By the same token, when my husband met me at the ER when I had those “non-blocking” kidney stones, he just knew I was about to die – I don’t show pain, and I was crying. Hell, I busted my [face](http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/10/l_f1cf19289c7c88b51d657e7b4e986d5b.jpg)open and was pouring blood, and laughing about how I was going to have a hell of a scar for our trip to WDW.

Ok, I do understand the “men mostly just whine around women” thing, except that I had older brothers, and I am pretty sure both of them would admit to being bigger pansies than I am where pain is concerned. Again, I may be atypical. Again, the women are better because we can deal with L&D and men couldn’t is bullshit.

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**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/43 "2009-01-09T21:59:16Z")

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> [@Malthus](#):
>
> I’ll bet men get squared in the nuts, by accident or violence, on average more often in their lives than women go through labour. I’ve certainly been hit good and hard more than 4 times in my life … and while lots of women have never given birth, few lucky men have escaped without being hit in the nuts at one time or another.
> 
> Now those two pains no-one on earth is in a position to compare. 😃 Though I’ll say this, I personally do not think it is the same - kicked hard in the nuts is (probably) somewhat more acute, but it doesn’t last for hours like labour and it isn’t life-threatening (though you may _want_ to die).

I’ve never been kicked in the nuts so hard that I would even attempt to compare it to labor. It doesn’t even rate at the top of pains I’ve felt. I’ve had leg cramps that are more painful than getting kicked in the nuts.

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**Author:** ![Buran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Buran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buran)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/44 "2009-01-09T22:03:48Z")

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> [@Malthus](#):
>
> Though I’ll say this, I personally do not think it is the same - kicked hard in the nuts is (probably) somewhat more acute, but it doesn’t last for hours like labour and it isn’t life-threatening (though you may _want_ to die).

Actually to be serious I have heard _(no cite)_ that being kicked hard in the nuts _can_ be life-threatening. I believe it can send the person into shock apart from anything else.

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**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/45 "2009-01-09T22:07:20Z")

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> [@mswas](#):
>
> I’ve never been kicked in the nuts so hard that I would even attempt to compare it to labor. It doesn’t even rate at the top of pains I’ve felt. I’ve had leg cramps that are more painful than getting kicked in the nuts.

Ooh, fuck, leg cramps! I haven’t had a bad one in a while but I’m very inefficient about staying hydrated and a couple of times I’ve woken up screaming out of a sound sleep with every muscle from my big toe to my lower back in full spasm. That’s scary, too, especially when a 200 lb, very strong man isn’t able to even so much as bend the ankle a degree or two, let alone the knee or hip. Leg cramps freak me out too, it’s like somebody else is driving part of your body and you don’t own it any more.

On the plus side, this has trained even my sleeping brain never to stretch with pointed toes…

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**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/46 "2009-01-09T22:11:00Z")

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> [@mswas](#):
>
> I’ve never been kicked in the nuts so hard that I would even attempt to compare it to labor. It doesn’t even rate at the top of pains I’ve felt. I’ve had leg cramps that are more painful than getting kicked in the nuts.

Woah.

All I can say is either: (1) you have had _really_ fierce leg cramps; (2) you’ve never been squared really hard; or (3) you truly have balls of iron. 😃

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**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/47 "2009-01-09T22:14:07Z")

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How common is it to go through labor without pain medication? Do most women go without?

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**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/48 "2009-01-09T22:16:00Z")

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> [@Blaster\_Master](#):
>
> The real differences, of course, are that being kicked in the balls doesn’t last for hours

I’ve got some websites for you to visit…

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**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/49 "2009-01-09T22:16:03Z")

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About a decade ago I had surgery. It required me having a foley catheter, which as I understand it is nothing like when you see the credits for foley artist in movies, unless acting is far more unpleasant than I’ve previously assumed. Anyway, just before I was discharged the nurse pulled out the catheter in one hefty yank, and I screamed out a stream of obscenities and threatened to hunt her down and kill her with my bare hands, as soon as I could stop crying like a little girl.

She gave me the old “Pfft, wimp, women go through far more pain than that when they go through labor.”

The anesthesia I was on totally backed up my bowels. My doctor told me to poop as soon as possible, which ended up being about 5 days. The turd I passed was so monsterously huge that, yeah, I can believe that giving birth is no cakewalk.

On the bright side, I gave “birth” to a 9 pound, 5 ounce poo. It’s doing well. Got all A’s in school last week. I’m so proud. It was totally worth it.

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**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/50 "2009-01-09T22:17:33Z")

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> [@Malthus](#):
>
> All I can say is either: (1) you have had _really_ fierce leg cramps; (2) you’ve never been squared really hard; or (3) you truly have balls of iron. 😃

Or maybe you have no balls. :dubious:

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**Author:** ![Alienhand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8edcca/32.png) [@Alienhand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alienhand)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/51 "2009-01-09T22:22:01Z")

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> [@tdn](#):
>
> On the bright side, I gave “birth” to a 9 pound, 5 ounce poo. It’s doing well. Got all A’s in school last week. It was totally worth it.

Did you call him Bono?

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**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/52 "2009-01-09T22:34:32Z")

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> [@SmartAleq](#):
>
> All this “ball tapping” stuff is horrible! Guys do that on purpose? :eek:

Obviously (and fortunately) many of us (males) weren’t aware of this interesting tribal custom.

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**Author:** ![Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/59ef9b/32.png) [@Don\_t\_fight\_the\_hypothetical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_fight_the_hypothetical)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/53 "2009-01-09T22:40:58Z")

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[FWIW, ball tapping.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuXy7blJ6yE)

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**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/54 "2009-01-09T22:48:06Z")

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> [@Santo\_Rugger](#):
>
> Don’t ever, ever hang out with my rugby club. I don’t know why it started, but I’ve got to admit I’m one of the biggest perpetrators. It’s unarguably funny, as long as the person getting tapped isn’t you. As much as it hurts to get tapped, seeing 20 other guys get tapped makes it worth it. The best part is if two guys get in a tapping war, with each tap being progressively harder. Good times, good times.

I have a terrible story about this, the only time I have ever given into peer pressure, with disastrous results. I am a female. When I was in high school band the boys did this to one another all the time–and I played trombone, so I was basically surrounded by these guys. They called it a ‘‘meat check.’’ One day during band camp one of my fellow band-mates leaned over and emphatically urged me to ball-tap the other dude sitting next to me. He kept insisting that nobody would be angry and everyone would think it was hilarious. He would not let it go.

Meanwhile the other guy was just sitting there, completely clueless.

I must emphasize, again, that I am female. It is my only defense.

I slugged this poor guy square between the legs. I honestly thought this was what they were doing to each other, and didn’t realize I’d done anything wrong until the other guy started screaming (in between gales of laughter) ‘‘Oh my god! You weren’t supposed to hit him that hard! Oh my god!’’ Then like 5 guys crowded around me to lecture me about what a sensitive area that was and how when they ‘‘meat check’’ they aren’t really doing it all that hard and _oh my god what was I thinking?_

Meanwhile the guy I had just punched was laying facedown on the floor moaning.  
Oh Jesus did I feel terrible. I had no idea I was going to hurt him that badly. He never forgave me. ☹

As regards the OP this seems like a pointless argument. There are all different levels and kinds of pain, some pains stabbing, some pains shooting, some pains throbbing, and it’s very difficult to compare them all. I think I’ve taken some rather painful things like a champ (two knee surgeries, a hernia, etc) and I think I’ve taken some pretty minor things like a total sissy (one of the most agonizing things I can remember is burning myself on corn.) I would imagine on the pain threshold continuum I’m somewhere in the middle. I think a lot of pain tolerance has to do with whether you expect it or not. I often find an unexpected stubbed toe to be unbearable, whereas the impacted wisdom tooth extraction I anticipated for a month beforehand wasn’t bad at all (okay, that’s a lie–it WAS bad, but not as bad as I thought it would be.)

I’ve met both men and women who seemed weaker or stronger in this regard. My husband has a very low pain threshold. Back before we became an item, he offered to assist me in assembling a desk. I was having trouble with one of the screws and he offered his manly assistance. After about 30 seconds with the screwdriver he announced that twisting was hurting his wrist and went back to reading me the assembly instructions.

Then there was the lady in ER last week who literally fainted while the nurse drew blood.

So I’m just saying, I really doubt there is much biological difference in the way the sexes handle pain.

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**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/55 "2009-01-09T22:49:12Z")

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> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#):
>
> Or maybe you have no balls. :dubious:

I actually have the ultimate proof that I have working balls is spinning around to the songs from Phineas and Ferb.

And as I wrote that, she got dizzy face planted and busted her lip. It seemed like a serious pain maybe akin to getting kicked in the balls.

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**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/56 "2009-01-09T22:49:46Z")

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> [@tdn](#):
>
> I don’t know what caused it, I’ve never seen a doctor for it, and now that I’m reaching the age where many women experience menopause, it’s gone away – but I used to get pretty hellish hot flashes. They plagued me through my late 20s and most of my 30s, sometimes on a daily basis.
> 
> A few years back, I overheard some women talking about menopause, and one of them said that she’d like to see a man endure hot flashes. They generally agreed that no man would be able to stand it.
> 
> The thing is, you endure the pain that life throws at you.

Actually, Males [can get hot flashes](http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2557.html), and can suffer from a similar condition known as [andropause](http://health.discovery.com/centers/mens/articles/andropause.html). I only recall this because in my college years, one of my professors was doing a study on chemicals that may be able to treat male menopause, and he’d always point out that it’s a rare condition, occurring less often but more often described as a more painful one for males, because it would last longer and more intensely than the average female menopause’s hot flashes. So yeah. Fun times. But next time a female uses that argument, feel free to fight her ignorance on the matter.

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**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/57 "2009-01-09T22:51:32Z")

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> [@clairobscur](#):
>
> Obviously (and fortunately) many of us (males) weren’t aware of this interesting tribal custom.

And all this time I thought you were a woman.

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**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/58 "2009-01-09T22:53:28Z")

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> [@olivesmarch4th](#):
>
> I slugged this poor guy square between the legs.

:eek: I am now scared of you even though I know you’re one of the nicest posters here, but wow. Reading that story, I could feel myself curling up defensively… I used to have a gf that would do the ball check every so often, and she’d occaisionally miss, and end up hitting a bit harder than normal, which hurt, but I could never imagine being slugged down there.  
This is all i can associate now with your name… The Olives have turned deadly.  
HOLY Crap. Like… actually SLUGGED his balls… Wow. :eek:

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**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/59 "2009-01-09T22:58:04Z")

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> [@tdn](#):
>
> I have no idea what the female equivalent to ball tapping is, but I bet a lot of guys would pay to see it.

Dialing up your girlfriend and not letting her know it’s a conference call so you can get her to talk shit about the friend on the other line.

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**Author:** ![MrSquishy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9e5f3/32.png) [@MrSquishy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSquishy)\
**Post date:** [January 9, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/60 "2009-01-09T23:01:24Z")

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> [@Hi\_Neighbor](#):
>
> I hear getting punched in the breast is pretty painful as well. Girls seem to like to compare that to getting kicked in the nuts.

But girls have no idea what it feels like to get kicked in the nuts. It’s really hard to describe.

It’s not the physical pain that’s the problem. It’s not just like “ow, my nuts hurt!”. I mean, there is that, but also your whole abdomen hurts. And it’s not just regular “surface” pain like a cut or a burn or a punch, it’s this horrible internal pain, like really bad abdominal cramps. There’s a recent thread [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=474869) that I thought had some really good descriptions.

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