# Men and the pain of labor **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 9, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569 "2009-01-09T19:28:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/121 "2009-01-11T02:56:34Z")
> [@Litoris](#): > > Breaking my toe the first 5 times: 8 > Breaking my toe the next 5 times: 6.5 What do you do that you’ve broken your toe ten times? I’d suggest using your hands to open the door. Also, which toes have you broken. I once broke my big toe by kicking the base of metal volleyball stand. That hurt a lot, but I actually kicked it hard enough to break my “toe” well into my foot. I’ve also broken “pinky” toes any number of times by catching them on objects while barefooted. I’d rate that as a fairly insignificant pain, acute and cussing for a few minutes, then just annoying. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/122 "2009-01-11T03:14:07Z")
The only other analogue I can think of to a man getting kicked in the balls is the phenomenon of “bottoming out” during sex. It’s happened to me only once, thank heavens. You get into a rather deep position, and he’s really getting into it, and somehow, the penis grazes an ovary. I doubt it ever manages to hit one dead center. Thankfully, he was a gentleman and stopped when I went bug-eyed and stopped breathing. It took me a couple of minutes of very controlled breathing don’t-you-fucking-dare-touch-me curling up to become human again. I’ve read another woman on this board describe her experience as something that made her shriek and then cry/laugh hysterically. I think Qadgop explained what had happened. And, you know, life’s cruel enough. I’m of the opinion that there’s too much ball-bashing, ovary-smashing, peranium-tearing, urethra-stretching, uric-acid-crystalization torture in this world anyways. That shit hurts. Period. We should all get a Whining License that can only be revoked when we have clearly gone overboard. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/123 "2009-01-11T03:19:29Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > You get into a rather deep position, and he’s really getting into it, and somehow, the penis grazes an ovary. :dubious: Um, if that’s happening, you’re definitely doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/124 "2009-01-11T03:44:35Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > I always think this kind of discussion is sort of silly. People experience pain differently. People experience the _same kind_ of pain differently. Yeah, I’ve been in the unfortunate position of having my left foot facing in completely the wrong direction and while it undoubtedly hurt a fuck of a lot I was able to compartmentalise it a bit - I had to crawl through the house to get to the telephone to call for help so I was mentally positioning the pain “there” and dealing with it. On the other hand when I managed to ram my nuts into the crossbar of my bike I was lying on the ground gurgling like a small child and wanting to die. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/125 "2009-01-11T04:02:38Z")
> [@Struan](#): > > Yeah, I’ve been in the unfortunate position of having my left foot facing in completely the wrong direction and while it undoubtedly hurt a fuck of a lot I was able to compartmentalise it a bit - I had to crawl through the house to get to the telephone to call for help so I was mentally positioning the pain “there” and dealing with it. On the other hand when I managed to ram my nuts into the crossbar of my bike I was lying on the ground gurgling like a small child and wanting to die. I’m probably going to regret asking this, but how the hell did you manage to do that to your foot? ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/126 "2009-01-11T04:24:15Z")
> [@phouka](#): > > It’s happened to me only once, thank heavens. You get into a rather deep position, and he’s really getting into it, and somehow, the penis grazes an ovary. I doubt it ever manages to hit one dead center. Thankfully, he was a gentleman and stopped when I went bug-eyed and stopped breathing. It took me a couple of minutes of very controlled breathing don’t-you-fucking-dare-touch-me curling up to become human again. There, _that_ reaction there sounds like the closest match so far to the reaction of getting whacked in the balls. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/127 "2009-01-11T04:27:15Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > I’m probably going to regret asking this, but how the hell did you manage to do that to your foot? I was barefoot, tooling around the house, not wearing my glasses, and stood on an ashtray in the middle of my living room floor\*. I’m not sure how it happened, exactly, it just happened in a flash but I’m quite tall and my full weight was on my ankle when I turned and fell. It twisted so that it was facing backwards. The surgeon said it was like piecing together crunched chicken bones, and there’s an impressive amount of metal in there now. It killed my hobby of hill-walking - I can’t really trust that ankle not to fuck up as sometimes it just gets stiff and awkward and I have to hobble about for a bit. - the hitherto undocumented dangers of smoking! ---
**Author:** ![brossa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brossa/32/3040_2.png) [@brossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brossa)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/128 "2009-01-11T05:17:59Z")
While playing a home-rules game of croquet as a young teenager, I took a shot to the pills from a croquet ball that had been hit golf-ball style - it was about three feet off the deck and rising when it got me. I distinctly remember vomiting almost instantly, reflexively, without feeling nausea. It wasn’t until a few seconds later when the real visceral pain hit that I actually felt sick to my stomach. A few years after that I was mowing the lawn, pushing the mower uphill when I was struck by a bolt of pure electric agony from my groin. I dropped to the ground like a sack of wet shit, immobilized, and the mower rolled back over my hand and arm. If it wasn’t for the safety cutoff on the mower engine, I would have been seriously fucked up. I literally could do nothing but pant like a landed fish for what felt like forever; I couldn’t draw in enough breath to scream. In the process of trying to get to my knees, something joggled into place and the pain decreased markedly, and was totally gone within ten minutes. In retrospect, I probably torsed a testicle briefly. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/129 "2009-01-11T10:52:30Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > My wife is an RN. When she worked at the hospital, she said the male patients were \*\*\*much \*\*\*less whiny than the female ones. Well, that makes sense.. Men are only whiny around women who we think we can get to do stuff for us. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Enginerd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bcef8e/32.png) [@Enginerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enginerd)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/130 "2009-01-11T17:52:13Z")
> [@Trocisp](#): > > Well, that makes sense.. > > Men are only whiny around women who we think we can get to do stuff for us. 😛 Or to us. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/131 "2009-01-11T18:09:05Z")
Without wanting to spoil Deadwood for anyone, there is a source of pain for men that quite adequately mimics (from what I can see) labour 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Litoris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@Litoris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Litoris)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/132 "2009-01-11T19:56:16Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > What do you do that you’ve broken your toe ten times? I’d suggest using your hands to open the door. Also, which toes have you broken. I once broke my big toe by kicking the base of metal volleyball stand. That hurt a lot, but I actually kicked it hard enough to break my “toe” well into my foot. I’ve also broken “pinky” toes any number of times by catching them on objects while barefooted. I’d rate that as a fairly insignificant pain, acute and cussing for a few minutes, then just annoying. My ex (daughter’s father) used to literally throw me against the wall – I chose my foot to take the force instead of my face/head. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/133 "2009-01-11T20:16:06Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > And all this time I thought you were a woman. Many people believe that. That’s why I wrote “many of us (males)” in order to avoid confusion. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/134 "2009-01-11T20:24:10Z")
One woman described it to me by asking me to imagine shitting a watermelon. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/135 "2009-01-11T21:00:15Z")
> [@Pushkin](#): > > Without wanting to spoil Deadwood for anyone, there is a source of pain for men that quite adequately mimics (from what I can see) labour 😛 Oh, spoil it, I want to know! ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/136 "2009-01-11T21:04:15Z")
I believe it could be quite different if the child is wanted and loved. It is a sacrificial act of love, to bear that pain for the delivery of another person that you love. In this context it is very different from other pains, except when that pain may save another and it is a willing act of sacrifice. For many it is pain with the promise of great joy. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/137 "2009-01-12T02:04:44Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > I once lost consciousness from pain when I was struck under the nose by a 180-gram frisbee thrown at full velocity. It wasn’t from the impact. It was from the pain. I remember feeling the impact and lying there stunned, then a bloom of the most mind-shattering pain. I thought I was having a stroke. I passed out and later woke up with two black eyes, a busted nose, persistent tinnitus, and a headache that lasted for two weeks. I seriously thought I was going to die from it. Shit, I need to be more careful. I ride my bike on a frisbee-golf course and I swear some of those fucking asshole are aiming at me. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/138 "2009-01-12T03:01:43Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > How common is it to go through labor without pain medication? Do most women go without? It is not as common as it should be IMHO. There are techniques – Google “Lamaze” for starters – for preventing yourself from being in all that much intense pain to begin with. These techniques do require preparation and practice, however, and many women do not want to do so, or for some reason can not. I gave birth twice (three times if you count the miscarriage) and never had any pain meds at all for any of them. The other common mistaken idea about labor is that one is in excruciating pain for the entire time. My labors were technically about 12 hours long. However, for the first hour the contractions were about 5 seconds and were 10 minutes or more apart. They were less painful than a charleyhorse. The final half hour was pretty intense. Contractions were very strong, and were separated by very short intervals. But by that time, labor was almost over. I knew that a couple more productive contractions and delivery would be complete. Obviously milage will vary. There are lots of situations where it would be sadistic to withhold pain meds. However, this must be balanced against the fact that many drugs given to the laboring woman can influence the fetus, and not in a positive way. For example, time was that women were given general anaesthesia for childbirth, and the result was sleepy, doped-up babies. I don’t think that is done any more, for good reason. Things IMHO that are more painful than childbirth, from my personal experience: earaches, toothaches, sinus infections and post-operative pain. Things that I’ve observed others suffering that sure as hell looked more painful than childbirth: kidney stones, gall bladder attack. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/139 "2009-01-12T04:54:35Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Shit, I need to be more careful. I ride my bike on a frisbee-golf course and I swear some of those fucking asshole are aiming at me. As an avid disc golfer, let me say that there’s a place for both sports. They aren’t aiming for you, but if you’re biking across where they’re driving, well, you share at least part of the blame. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569/140 "2009-01-12T05:33:39Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > As an avid disc golfer, let me say that there’s a place for both sports. They aren’t aiming for you, but if you’re biking across where they’re driving, well, you share at least part of the blame. You’d have to see the course for this to make sense, but they can often see me when I can’t see them, and a few times when a disc has wizzed by my face, I’ve had trouble believing it was an accident. And it’s a public park with multiuse hiking/biking trails that were there before the disc golf targets. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-and-the-pain-of-labor/480569.md?page=8)