# Men, check in if you've ever been groped unwillingly **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 22, 2013, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874 "2013-08-22T14:52:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/41 "2013-08-23T00:16:14Z")
I try not to be rude to people, and I’m not a cat-caller. But telling me I can’t comment on a woman, because I’m a man, is not only foolish, but sexist as well. Men comment on other men. Women comment on men (usually with eyes, but sometimes out loud) Meanwhile, I can’t make a comment? Really? > [@](#): > > Make the wrong type of comment, to the wrong person, and you could very well wake up wondering if anybody got the license plate number of the ‘truck’ that just ‘cleaned your clock’, so to speak I learned martial arts from a female instructor. Small, cute, curvy, and utterly lethal. She would have destroyed any man in the class and we all knew it. ---
**Author:** ![jnglmassiv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f07891/32.png) [@jnglmassiv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jnglmassiv)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/42 "2013-08-23T00:35:57Z")
Reading the OP, I didn’t think I had any stories to share but a couple replies made me recall an old story. I used to play in a band and there was a longtime friend of some of my bandmates who hung around a lot. I can remember us all hanging out one night and they were ribbing about how he should just admit he was gay. He was apparently struggling with his sexuality and they told how he would really change when he was drinking, night and day. He was there during all this and shook his head laughing the whole time, saying “Nope, not true at all. Haha, never happened, no.” I honestly didn’t believe it and figured they were just goofing off. Later at a party, my mind was changed. We’d all been drinking and he perfectly played the part of a too-forward, grabby, stereotypical gay man. He assumed a voice affectation and went to all the men in the place and grabbed what he could (front & back) while propositioning till he was pushed away. Then, over to the next guy. Those who’d known him for years did the rolleyes and made ‘yer cut off’ type comments. It was all pretty lighthearted though since I’d just met him, it was a little startling. Later, his buddies were 'Hey, xyz? What happened last weekend? You kinda went around touching and hitting on all the men." “Nope, not true at all. Haha, never happened, no.” There’s been some other club and bar dancefloor type incidents with women. While maybe a minor annoyance, they certainly weren’t threatening and there might have been some flattery in there, too. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/43 "2013-08-23T00:52:50Z")
Never. I had a teenage girl kick me in the groin for fun (she ran off laughing) in high school, but that’s the closest I’ve ever come to being groped. Groping would have hurt less, I’m sure. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/44 "2013-08-23T01:50:27Z")
I had a co-worker sit in my lap at the office once. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me…there really wasn’t much else to explain it. At Mardi Gras once, a friend of mine took me into a club, and didn’t tell me that there was a room they called the “Touchy Feely” room. I was groped a few times before I was able to get out. It was a very odd experience. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/45 "2013-08-23T02:00:00Z")
The butcher at the grocery store where I worked as a teenaged bagger liked to fondle the butts of all us cute teenaged boys. It started out as a kind of joke, but one day I realized he was doing it in an overtly sexual way, not as a joke. I told him to knock it off and not do it again, and he didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/46 "2013-08-23T02:16:17Z")
Yes, by none other than Paul Lynde, very drunk and very obnoxious. I’ve told this story in a couple of other threads, and I’m not feeling up to going through it again. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/47 "2013-08-23T02:16:41Z")
A couple of times by women at dance clubs. That was a long time ago though. ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/48 "2013-08-23T02:16:49Z")
By a woman? Sadly, no. Cops don’t make much money, so extra jobs are common. I worked security at a gay bar in Midtown Atlanta. Mostly outside to protect the guys from rednecks in from the country on a weekend night, and keep an eye on the cars out back. Every time I’d go inside, it was a gauntlet of pinches, pats, and jokes about my baton or men in uniform. No one was ever pushy or even very serious; they knew I was straight. They were just having some drunken fun, and I was making $50/hour cash. Why make waves? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/49 "2013-08-23T04:03:19Z")
Yes. By both men and women. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/50 "2013-08-23T04:46:25Z")
Yes, by a guy. Around 1970. I was in my early 20s and down to a normal weight (thanks to doctor-prescribed pills, probably some amphetamine). I was standing on the El platform and a guy about the same age brushed against my rear. Once, an accident. The second time, obviously not. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/51 "2013-08-23T04:58:46Z")
> [@Max\_Torque](#): > > Well, dunno if this counts, but: yeah, by a stripper in a club. What happened was, it was my bachelor party, at a place in Las Vegas called “Olympic Gardens.” Ground floor is full of female strippers, for the guys; the second floor is for the womenfolk and occupied by male strippers. My wife-to-be and I were on the two different floors at the same time. > > So her sister’s husband buys me a lapdance, and I won’t say she was the ugliest stripper in the place, because frankly I don’t remember what she looked like at all. What I do remember about her, though, is her hands. I have never received such an aggressive lapdance in my life. Throughout the song she was constantly grabbing and working my package through my jeans, with hands so rough and callused that she must have worked days as a carpenter. Those hands were absolutely a turn-off, and yet physical stimulation will take its toll; it’s the only time I ever got an erection against my will. I sat there and took my unwelcome groping, because how do you tell a stripper “NO MEANS NO!” and run away? And yeah, the whole thing felt pretty violating. Inquiring minds want to know: How did your bride to be spend the time away from you? ---
**Author:** ![Alba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea666f/32.png) [@Alba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alba)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/52 "2013-08-23T08:38:50Z")
I’ve been groped so often I can’t recall all the instances; often in pubs/clubs/the street after dark. Two stand out. When I was 19 and standing on the street an attractive girl around the same age groped my bum. Another time my date groped my crotch. I don’t mind being groped, it happens, and I’m quite touchy feely with my male friends when I drink. I don’t do it with women or female friends because I feel it’s wrong to do. I’ve even had permission from women (more than I care to admit) to grope them and I didn’t because it felt wrong. However, when we go home together I make up for it 😃 I do remember being slightly affronted when the girl on the street groped me. Not that I minded too much, it was just on the edge of the feeling I had been touched without permission. But since you can’t really prevent being groped I just shrug it off. ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/53 "2013-08-23T10:43:09Z")
Yep. By a guy at a gay bar. I was tagging along with an ex-girlfriend whom I was visiting who thought a gay bar would be a great place to go. The incident really pissed me off, but a large part of that was because the ex-GF was being an complete c\*nt the entire time I visited and this was just the icing on the cake. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/54 "2013-08-23T11:01:02Z")
When I was 6 or 7 an Asian tourist (I’m assuming) woman pinched my ass at Seaworld. ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 11:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/55 "2013-08-23T11:12:59Z")
Got my arse grabbed at a set of traffic lights. Looked like it was one of a bunch of guys so I chalked it up to standard “I want to impress my mates so I’m going to do something stupid to somebody who doesn’t deserve it” behaviour. It doesn’t rankle me as much as verbal abuse in similar situations, but that’s because I’m an idiot who then thinks, “If only I’d have responded to them! I would have destroyed them with my wit.” ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/56 "2013-08-23T11:26:51Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > Women see a lot less rejection or negative reaction than men, and so don’t handle it as well, in my experience. I had a couple of incidents with female classmates in high school grabbing my ass in public. I’ve never been groped where I was in a position to comment about it but I did receive this reaction occasionally when asked out by women. It’s always someone I barely even have talked to, and when I turn them down they’re play the “you’re just turned off by my brashness/it’s an equal world!” card, when the truth is that they’re of middling-to-weak physical beauty and I don’t even know them enough to see if they’re personality makes up for it. I’m sure that guys walk up to women they almost don’t know and ask them out, and have lame complaints upon being rejected, but that doesn’t make their complaints valid either. I guess the “you can’t handle my forthrightness” is the girl equivalent of “but I’m a nice guyyyyy!” ---
**Author:** ![JBDivmstr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JBDivmstr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBDivmstr)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/57 "2013-08-23T12:14:02Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > … Women see a lot less rejection or negative reaction than men, and so don’t handle it as well, in my experience. … This is something that I’ve noticed, also. Men are ‘rejected’ much more often, than women IMO, and from what I’ve observed, over the years. And most men learn to ‘deal with it’ and to not let it ‘get under their skin’, so to speak. Women, on the other hand, (in general, and IME) _ **do not** _ ‘deal’ with rejection very well, and sometimes just totally ‘can’t handle it’, at all. :eek: I’ve also come to the conclusion that the ‘hotter’ the woman is, the worse her ability to ‘deal’ (calmly, politely and sanely) with rejection, will be. YMMV 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/58 "2013-08-23T13:51:21Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Inquiring minds want to know: How did your bride to be spend the time away from you? Apparently about six of her friends bought her lapdances from the male strippers at the same time, so they formed a circle around her and did their thing, which totally overwhelmed her. She was only up there for 30-45 minutes before she came down to the “women strippers” part of the club, where she saw me getting the above-described lapdance and totally misread my expression. The conversation afterward was something like, “You were really enjoying that lapdance, huh!” “NO, she’s got hands like a lumberjack, I feel violated!” No more lapdances for either of us, and we left soon after. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/59 "2013-08-23T15:22:25Z")
Never have. ---
**Author:** ![Trom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@Trom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trom)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874/60 "2013-08-23T15:43:04Z")
Yep, numerous times by both men and women. The weirdest one was a girl and her friend who came up to me, lightly slapped my junk and said, “That’s how I say hello.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-check-in-if-youve-ever-been-groped-unwillingly/666874.md?page=4)