# Men! Cover your nutsack, for god's sake! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 28, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676 "2003-03-28T01:32:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/1 "2003-03-28T01:32:13Z")
OK, I was just at the gym, going over to the mat to stretch and get out of there. This older due was doing something that involved having one leg in the air, and without even meaning to look…_there was his scrotum._ Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrggghhhhh! A similar thing happened last summer. I have this male friend that is really skinny, so his bathing suits are a bit baggy. My best friend and I were standing there, waiting for him to put his shoes one, and BAM! Not just scrotal exposure, but full penile revelation! I for one wanted to put out my eyes. That was one dick I never wanted to see. We’re all supposed to go to the beach together again in June, and my best friend and I are _already_ full of dread at the thought of accidental johnson viewage. We’re going to try turning our backs to him whenever he sits down, without being too obvious about it. What is it with some guys? Is it that they wear boxers, which can’t cover everything if a guy moves his leg up? Don’t men’s bathing suits have built-in underwear to hold the unit in there? Don’t these guys feel a breeze or something? I’m sure they’d be mortified to know they were flashing, not just me, but the entire gym/beach/ wherever. I know some wag is going to suggest that both of these men are exhibitionists, but really… no. Sorry, I just had to vent after seeing a 65 year old man’s scrotum against my will. Going to get a dropper to bleach out the eyeballs now… ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/2 "2003-03-28T01:37:09Z")
You enjoyed it really, I can tell 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/3 "2003-03-28T01:40:10Z")
Swinging in the breeze is far more comfortable than being choked in tighty whities. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/4 "2003-03-28T01:48:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rubystreak \* > \*\*OK, I was just at the gym, going over to the mat to stretch and get out of there. This older due was doing something that involved having one leg in the air, and without even meaning to look…_there was his scrotum._ Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrggghhhhh! > > \*\* This reinforces my belief that people are WAY too fucked up about their bodies and sexuality. It’s a FUCKING SCROTUM! It won’t attack you. It doesn’t have a separate sentient drive that will lead it to crawl towards you and spread it’s scrotumy goodness on you. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![DrLizardo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@DrLizardo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrLizardo)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/5 "2003-03-28T01:48:48Z")
Couldn’t agree more, Rubystreak. And tighty whities do have their place… That place is THE GYM. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/6 "2003-03-28T01:52:25Z")
**Gorsnak** : So let me see if I have this right-- you’d rather wear impractical underwear, even if you’re in a place where people of all walks of life are going to see some portion of your johnson, squished by the seam of your shorts, looking all red and bulbous and weird and gross, than wear tighter shorts for the scant hour or so you’ll be there? :eek: Maybe **you** are a closet exhibitionist, eh? :dubious: All kidding aside, I’m sure that old dude would be tres embarrassed if he knew he flashed me (and any other poor unfortunate who walked by). My skinny-ass friend certainly would have been mortified. If these guys so clued out as to the johnson exposure, someone should really tell them. OTOH, there’s really know way I’m going to bring it up, that’s for damn sure. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/7 "2003-03-28T01:58:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > \*\*This reinforces my belief that people are WAY too fucked up about their bodies and sexuality. > > It’s a FUCKING SCROTUM! > > It won’t attack you. It doesn’t have a separate sentient drive that will lead it to crawl towards you and spread it’s scrotumy goodness on you. > > :smack: \*\* My thoughts exactly. Why does seeing a portion of male genitalia horrify you so much more than, say, seeing a male ear? You know what they are, you know that all guys have them, if seeing one gives you the vapors to that degree, then just look away, for cry eye. ---
**Author:** ![AntaresJB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c2a13f/32.png) [@AntaresJB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AntaresJB)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/8 "2003-03-28T01:59:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > \*\*It doesn’t have a separate sentient drive that will lead it to crawl towards you and spread it’s scrotumy goodness on you. > \*\* This is so incredibly hilarious, everyone else in the library must think I’m a total psycho now. “Scrotumy goodness,” indeed. Hehehe. 😃 I’m so amused. ---
**Author:** ![Morrigoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Morrigoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrigoon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/9 "2003-03-28T02:12:31Z")
Look, there are things, like soccer balls, which are infinitely more fun to play with than to watch. I’d put a scrotum in that category. I really don’t want to see it - they’re UGLY! I don’t go around waving my flabby, mayonnaise-hued bare belly in your face, don’t show me your scrotal tissue! Let’s hide the ugly things and let people’s imaginations make them seem more attractive than the reality. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/10 "2003-03-28T02:14:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > This reinforces my belief that people are WAY too fucked up about their bodies and sexuality. In case you didn’t realize this, the scrotum is not the most attractive part of the male anatomy, even with good lighting and a light dusting of talcum. It hardly bears saying that there is a time and a place for scrotum viewage. Also, it’s not too much to ask that a girl get to pick and choose the scrotums she has to see, considering their relative aesthetic value. It hardly makes me a Puritan that I don’t want to see some old guy’s mashed scotum. Honestly. > [@](#): > > It’s a FUCKING SCROTUM! Um, no, it was a sweaty, squished-up exercising scrotum. If it were a fucking scrotum I’d have found it marginally more interesting. > [@](#): > > It won’t attack you. It doesn’t have a separate sentient drive that will lead it to crawl towards you and spread it’s scrotumy goodness on you. It won’t? It doesn’t? Well thank god for small favors! Though that is rather a hilarious mental image that I will treasure for years to come, no doubt about it. Gotta go, need to get a tissue to wipe the juice spew off the monitor… ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/11 "2003-03-28T02:15:34Z")
The even more hilarious part is imagining it crawling rapidly after its victim, in order to inflict said scrotumny goodness. ---
**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/12 "2003-03-28T02:17:11Z")
You know, I have a scrotum and I’m even afraid of it. If you’re ever really bored, stare at your scrotum for five or ten minutes. It’s constantly changing, you can watch it move and it happens all over without a central command post. It’s like Ray Bradbury’s ‘Illustrated man’ where the mans whole body is covered in tattoos and if you look close enough, the tattoos move like little characters playing out a story. It’s strange, like some foreign alien organism that attached itself to my body. It even has its own tempature. Be afraid, be VERY afraid! ---
**Author:** ![Ben\_Hicks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbce88/32.png) [@Ben\_Hicks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben_Hicks)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/13 "2003-03-28T02:27:44Z")
I was going to post something vaguely funny but then realised I could never top **Mockingbird and BlackKnight**. Damn, that’s some funny shit 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/14 "2003-03-28T02:28:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > \*\* > It’s a FUCKING SCROTUM! > > It won’t attack you. It doesn’t have a separate sentient drive that will lead it to crawl towards you and spread it’s scrotumy goodness on you. > > :smack: \*\* BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!! Oh god, you owe me a new monitor! SHIT!!! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/15 "2003-03-28T02:37:11Z")
The scrotums are on the move today TraLA traLA The balls are going their seperate way TraLA traLA Women better cover their clits Watch that ass and protect those tits For to-day the balls are on parade! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/16 "2003-03-28T02:45:15Z")
Coming up next on Fox: _When Nutsacks Attack!_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/17 "2003-03-28T02:49:29Z")
> [@](#): > > My thoughts exactly. Why does seeing a portion of male genitalia horrify you so much more than, say, seeing a male ear? An ear does not qualify as genitalia. Although ear hair is just as nasty to look at as a RSS. Random Scrotum Sighting. Now, \*that \* is bad naked. > [@](#): > > You know, I have a scrotum and I’m even afraid of it. Sig Line! ---
**Author:** ![schplebordnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/91b2a8/32.png) [@schplebordnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schplebordnik)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/18 "2003-03-28T02:52:37Z")
Have you ever considered that both of these guys WANTED you to see? There are guys that get a perverse thrill out of publicly hanging brain. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/19 "2003-03-28T02:59:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rubystreak \* > **Sorry, I just had to vent after seeing a 65 year old man’s scrotum against my will.** Would you rather see a 65 year old man’s scrotum against your leg? ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/20 "2003-03-28T03:00:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by schplebordnik \* > Have you ever considered that both of these guys WANTED you to see? I addressed this possibility in my OP. My skinny friend definitely wouldn’t flash anyone. The old guy seemed to be honestly engaged in his exercising and oblivious to his nutsack seeing the light of day. Both were accidental. > [@](#): > > There are guys that get a perverse thrill out of publicly hanging brain. This entire thread was worth me picking up the phrase “hanging brain.” Priceless. What with **Mockingbird’s** scrotumy goodness and **Derleth’s** March of the Rogue Scrotums, this may be the best thread I’ve ever started. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676.md?page=2)