# Men!  Cover your nutsack, for god's sake!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [March 28, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676 "2003-03-28T01:32:13Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/41 "2003-03-28T14:11:17Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lucretia \*  
> \*\*My thoughts exactly. Why does seeing a portion of male genitalia horrify you so much more than, say, seeing a male ear? You know what they are, you know that all guys have them, if seeing one gives you the vapors to that degree, then just look away, for cry eye. \*\*

Well, for starters, it’s like looking at a 300-lb woman in a thong bikini. or someone wearing shorts so tight they have permanent wedgie. Or a man in a Speedo. It’s just icky, and I don’t want to see it.

Besides, most of us are not nudists, and we have an unspoken agreement that when one is in public, one covers one’s genitals. Since most people prefer to not see the genitals of those they aren’t sexually attracted to, we politely cover them. It’s called courtesy.

I’m sure the OP did indeed look away as quickly as possible (unless it was one of those train-wreck kind of things, where it’s so horrible you _can’t_ look away), but that’s not the point. The point is that she didn’t want to see it even for a moment, and reasonably wasn’t expecting to have to avert her eyes from some guy’s sack in this middle of her workout.

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**Author:** ![Aro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b3f665/32.png) [@Aro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aro)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/42 "2003-03-28T14:13:32Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Originally posted by Rooves  
> If you’re ever really bored, stare at your scrotum for five or ten minutes. It’s constantly changing, you can watch it move and it happens all over without a central command post.

Billy Connelly once did a stand-up sketch on this very thought. If you hunker in the corner naked and shine a torch from behind and through your scrotum you can create a ‘poor mans lava lamp’ effect and cast some slow-moving and interesting shadows on the walls of the room.

You should try _that_ at your next house party and gauge the awe of your audience. 😉

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**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/43 "2003-03-28T14:16:59Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \*  
> \*\*This reinforces my belief that people are WAY too fucked up about their bodies and sexuality.
> 
> It’s a FUCKING SCROTUM!
> 
> It won’t attack you. It doesn’t have a separate sentient drive that will lead it to crawl towards you and spread it’s scrotumy goodness on you.
> 
> :smack: \*\*

The same thing is true of an anus–but that doesn’t mean I want to be treated to a view of it at the gym or the beach (or anywhere else for that matter)! 😃

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**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/44 "2003-03-28T14:19:38Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Rooves \*  
> \*\*It’s constantly changing, you can watch it move and it happens all over without a central command post. \*\*

😕 😕 😕

I don’t know about you, but _mine_ has a central command post!

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**Author:** ![80sHairMetalMaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/8/ed655f/32.png) [@80sHairMetalMaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/80sHairMetalMaven)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/45 "2003-03-28T14:37:35Z")

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Can’t…stop…laughing.😃 Great…now there’s phlegmy goodness all over my monitor. :rolleyes:

IDBB

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**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/46 "2003-03-28T15:21:30Z")

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Or a central post, anyway. Although mine has a central _demand_ post.

And I’m trying to figure out why the OP’s complaining. I spend about 90% of my time hoping that random scroti and penises will suddenly spring free from their confinement, just for my personal enjoyment. 🙂

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**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/47 "2003-03-28T15:30:16Z")

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Trust me, the genitals most likely to spring from confinement are the ones you least want to see. Think plumber ass.

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**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/48 "2003-03-28T15:42:20Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Rubystreak \*  
> \*\*All kidding aside, I’m sure that old dude would be tres embarrassed if he knew he flashed me (and any other poor unfortunate who walked by). My skinny-ass friend certainly would have been mortified. If these guys so clued out as to the johnson exposure, someone should really tell them. OTOH, there’s really know way I’m going to bring it up, that’s for damn sure. \*\*

So you’d rather that your friend continue making an accidental exhibitionist of himself, inflicting his scrotifery on more of the unsuspecting populace, not to mention live in terror yourself of scrotal glimpsing for the entire summer, than sit down with him and say “hey, I know you would want to know this, and I’m sorry if I’m embarrassing you, but those swim suits you wear are a little loose and people can sometimes see your business”? And you’d rather compound it by bitching about him behind his back on a message board? Some friend you are. Seems kind of lame to rant about not wanting to be flashed when you’re not willing to say something to the one person who flashed you that you could actually affect.

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**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/49 "2003-03-28T15:45:39Z")

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Re: Scrotal writhing: Um, eewww! I had no idea they did that! And you guys stand around and watch them?! :dubious: Guys are so weird!

My body parts stay where I put them, by God. (Well, except for my tits. Sometimes the girls try to jump free from their confinement.)

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**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/50 "2003-03-28T16:00:09Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Rubystreak \*  
> \*\*In case you didn’t realize this, the scrotum is not the most attractive part of the male anatomy, even with good lighting and a light dusting of talcum. It hardly bears saying that there is a time and a place for scrotum viewage. Also, it’s not too much to ask that a girl get to pick and choose the scrotums she has to see, considering their relative aesthetic value. It hardly makes me a Puritan that I don’t want to see some old guy’s mashed scotum. Honestly.  
> \*\*

Okay… as I have a scrotum, and thus have the opportunity to view it in its native habitat on a daily basis, I think I can speak with some knowledge on this matter.

Add to it that I’m a big 'mo with a boyfriend, and I get double the nutlicious fun.

Needless to say, I quite like them.

They’re like pets, really.

They are low maintainance, easy to please, and fun to watch roam on the open range.

Now… I will give you a pair of Scrotum Sensitive Glasses™ which will obscure your view of any testicles that may come out to escape their moist, congested confinement for a breath of fresh air.

Will that get you to cease your oppressive puritan whining?

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**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/51 "2003-03-28T16:06:30Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by CrazyCatLady \*  
> **Well, for starters, it’s like looking at a 300-lb woman in a thong bikini. or someone wearing shorts so tight they have permanent wedgie. Or a man in a Speedo. It’s just icky, and I don’t want to see it.**

Mmmmm … men in Speedos. What’s not to love?

Oh well, different strokes for different folks.

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**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/52 "2003-03-28T16:20:06Z")

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Yeah, just be happy you’re not an ancient Greek. They exercised nekkid! (That’s got to be rough on the old Nautilus seats…)

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**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/53 "2003-03-28T16:25:49Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Trust me, the genitals most likely to spring from confinement are the ones you least want to see. Think plumber ass.

Yes, I believe the OP referenced a 65-year-old scrotum. Mr. Amanita is only 43 and already I can tell that gravity + time = scary scrotum.

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**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/54 "2003-03-28T16:32:22Z")

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Eons ago when I was going thru OCS, our company was outside in workout gear, stretching before a run. I was bending over doing my stretches and for some reason, I looked up. Right in front of me was one of the guys in my company, standing with his legs apart doing his stretches. And right there at my eye level were his goodies.

I turned so that he was at my side instead of in my face. No biggie. Except for my later brainfart.

Shortly thereafter, the same guy was crashed out in his gym shorts, snoozing on a pile of spare mattresses. I took a picture of him. I didn’t realize until after the pics were developed that he was “free” that day, too.

Yeah, I’ve still got the pic.

No, I won’t post it.

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**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/55 "2003-03-28T16:37:11Z")

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Thankyou, Thankyou, Thankyou, this thread has made my day:D

Excuse me while I go and get some work done, oh and rearange my underwear.

Cheers, Bippy

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**Author:** ![Pedro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pedro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pedro)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/56 "2003-03-28T16:38:20Z")

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I was gonna make a stupid joke such as “how insensitive can you be, if you were packed all day in such a harsh environment all alone you’d want to drop in uninvited too” but having been though the same experience, I can’t bring myself to do it.

I just wasn’t prepared. I can’t imagine ever being but anyway, it was a gym class, we were doing some stretching in groups of two, I’m peacefuly thinking about whatever it is I think about when my ligaments are being stretched to 110% (girls and spandex?)… FUCK, keep your squashed nutsack out of my field of view (350º degrees just to be safe). Scary, you never forget.

On preview: **FairyChatMom** You too? Sorry to know that.

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**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/57 "2003-03-28T16:42:07Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Wintermute \*  
> \*\*My body parts stay where I put them, by God. (Well, except for my tits. Sometimes the girls try to jump free from their confinement.) \*\*

Free the Titzlinger Two!

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**Author:** ![Black\_Train\_Song](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4da419/32.png) [@Black\_Train\_Song](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Black_Train_Song)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/58 "2003-03-28T17:04:57Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> You should try that at your next house party and gauge the awe of your audience.

You mean…my _remaining_ audience?

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**Author:** ![Demise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@Demise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demise)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/59 "2003-03-28T17:21:38Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Olentzero \*  
> \*\*Free the Titzlinger Two! \*\*

I’d march for that.

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**Author:** ![coosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@coosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coosa)\
**Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/60 "2003-03-28T17:45:26Z")

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Thanks, Dopers! I actually laughed out loud while reading this thread (something I rarely do).

And I know my brain will never be the same after reading the part about “spreading its scrotumy goodness” - if I have nightmares tonight about being stalked by wrinkled, writhing scrotums slithering about on the floor in the darkness, you know who I’m going to blame!

Oh, wait - I have cats. No creeping scrotum will get far in this house!

No, that’s even worse . . . Strawberry has moved her 4 week old kittens to my bed, and has been bringing them dead socks on which they sharpen their hunting skills. Now I’m imagining waking up in the middle of the night to find the kittens toying with a disabled-but-writhing scrotum on the next pillow . . . :eek:

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