# Men! Cover your nutsack, for god's sake! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 28, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676 "2003-03-28T01:32:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/81 "2003-03-28T23:01:48Z")
Oh my God! Remember the satirical PSA in the movie **Johnny Dangerously** with Michael Keaton? It was called “Your Testicles and You” The poor guy in **Fingolfin** ’s link… They’re speaking Dutch over the movie but I think they say “Scrotum Elephantin” Elephantitis of the Balls! Oh my God it **does** exist! ---
**Author:** ![foxfiregrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3da27b/32.png) [@foxfiregrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foxfiregrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/82 "2003-03-28T23:12:20Z")
I’m so glad that I’m a lesbian. :: backs slowly out of the thread :: ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/83 "2003-03-28T23:13:38Z")
Thank God for filariasis. ---
**Author:** ![edwino](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@edwino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwino)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/84 "2003-03-28T23:15:26Z")
Let me just add, deez nutz. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/85 "2003-03-28T23:16:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tuckerfan \* > \*\*Do you notice, though, that the scrotum appears to a universally _reviled_ piece of the male anatomy? I can’t think of the same for female anatomy. Which says something, I’m not sure what, yet, but it does say something. \*\* Oh, I’d have to disagree with “reviled”. I think most of us adore that part of a man’s anatomy. But it’s just not pretty, that’s all. Okay, here’s a maybe for an analogy. I love my car, it’s big, comfy and safe. But it’s been in a wreck or two and isn’t a very good looking car. So while I love what it does for me, I have to admit, she’s an ugly old girl. Same for the man’s… errrr Bits…they’re beloved, but not to look at. ---
**Author:** ![SparrowHawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac8455/32.png) [@SparrowHawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SparrowHawk)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/86 "2003-03-28T23:16:23Z")
Maybe it’s the way I [spend Sunday mornings](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=2791520) but this kind of thing doesn’t bother me. I wouldn’t stand in line just so I could stare, but I don’t get upset or grossed out over such things, no matter what the age or condition of the bits in question (as long as they aren’t actually damaged. No spurting blood or mangled flesh, please). I honestly don’t think any of it is ugly. It’s all just interesting to me. The most unpleasant thing I might feel would be embarrassment on behalf of the unintentional flasher, if I thought it would bother them to know. I’m sorry **Rubystreak** had to be traumatized by it but I am grateful for the humor it spawned. (Um… I’m not sure that was the best way to say that.) Anyhow, I laughed my ass off and it is now crawling around on its own and I have nowhere to sit down. ---
**Author:** ![Jpeg\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/87 "2003-03-28T23:26:14Z")
Happy hour at Bally’s. Now serving pants oysters. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/88 "2003-03-28T23:36:24Z")
I’m guessing **Rubystreak** isn’t a nurse or she’d be used to accidentally seeing scrotums getting a breath of fresh air. ---
**Author:** ![Morrigoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Morrigoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrigoon)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/89 "2003-03-28T23:37:52Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally posted by coosa_ > And I know my brain will never be the same after reading the part about “spreading its scrotumy goodness” - if I have nightmares tonight about being stalked by wrinkled, writhing scrotums slithering about on the floor in the darkness, you know who I’m going to blame! Okay, anyone who’s read the thread about the attack blimp… you know what I’m picturing! ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/90 "2003-03-28T23:38:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*Oh, I’d have to disagree with “reviled”. I think most of us adore that part of a man’s anatomy. > > But it’s just not pretty, that’s all. > > Okay, here’s a maybe for an analogy. I love my car, it’s big, comfy and safe. But it’s been in a wreck or two and isn’t a very good looking car. > > So while I love what it does for me, I have to admit, she’s an ugly old girl. > > Same for the man’s… errrr Bits…they’re beloved, but not to look at. \*\* Yeah, but you’d never hear a man say, “Ya know, I _love_ playing with tits, squeezin’ ‘em, chewin’ on 'em, but I just don’t like how they look.” Never happen. ---
**Author:** ![TigoleBitties](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cab0a1/32.png) [@TigoleBitties](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TigoleBitties)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/91 "2003-03-28T23:43:20Z")
So Ruby…may I ask Do you in meeting a person of the opposite sex automatically give the ‘once over’ to their block and tackle? Gentlemen, we could have the closer to them asking us “Why do you look at my tits?”! OTOH, I do sympathize and relate said story. A friend and I surfed a place called Trail in South Orange County. It consisted of 5 major trails through the canyon to the beach and we were particular to #5 as it had a killer north wedge break when it got pumping. unfortunatly with this North swell, it would inevitablly sweep us to the Nude Beach about a click at Trail #6 where we would have to hike out and avoid nudiness to get back to where we wanted. And it was not good nudiness, why is it most people that enjoy the nudity in the sun are the people you would not like to see in the nude. Oh sure, 6 had its share of hot babes (and how do you talk to them?..ask em for sunscreen) but mostly those of the aged and very aged seemed to enjoy letting it ‘hang out’ as they say. And hanging is the exact adjective for them 90 percent of the time. Anyway, we both trundled out and were making our way back up near shorebreak when we found ourselves crossing paths with a naturist of ancient age, clad only in a sun hat and shades, sitting in one of the cheap viynil chair jobbers, ejoying the sun and the salt air. What caught me off guard was the clear and present view of the man’s package. Now you say “huh a mans package on a nude beach…what a surprise.” Well no, it was not the complete package as the pasty white thighs concealed the monkey. No, what was beholden to me was the coconuts wrapped in their flesh pocket hanging low…LOW in the saddle. Hanging free like a obscene mutated bunch of grapes from below between the plastic slats of the chair. Undulating with the slight breeze… My friend caught my patented Simpson’s Homer shudder (uhhuhuhhhhhhhhh!) and of course, being the upright bastard that he is, powers it down with the clincher. “Yknow, if he had a cat, it would have something to play with.” Now go and look at your cat the same way again. I certainly can’t. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/92 "2003-03-29T00:09:09Z")
Scrotum! Scrotum! It’s my wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin! _Everybody now!_ Scrotum! Scrotum! It’s the thing I keep my testes in! _Wave your beer, dammit!_ Well it’s wrinkled, and it’s crinkled, and it’s covered in hair And I don’t know what I’d do if it was not there! Oh, scrotum! Scrotum! It’s my wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin! _We really mean it!_ My wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin! _So tell your mommy!_ My wrinkly, crinkly bag of skin! Dr. J (with props to the Asylum Street Spankers) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/93 "2003-03-29T00:33:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Steve Wright \* > \*\*…(And the occasional doctor. And why people with cold hands go in for uro-genital medical practice, I shall never understand.) \*\* Because all the places in the Ob/Gyn program were full? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/94 "2003-03-29T00:37:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Aro \* > \*\*Billy Connelly once did a stand-up sketch on this very thought. If you hunker in the corner naked and shine a torch from behind and through your scrotum you can create a ‘poor mans lava lamp’ effect and cast some slow-moving and interesting shadows on the walls of the room. > > You should try _that_ at your next house party and gauge the awe of your audience. 😉 \*\* Dammit, I need a boyfriend. I HAVE to see this. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/95 "2003-03-29T00:48:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Dammit, I need a boyfriend. I HAVE to see this. \*\* Well, I’m free next Wednesday. Come on over. ---
**Author:** ![Zabali\_Clawbane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/ecd19e/32.png) [@Zabali\_Clawbane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zabali_Clawbane)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/96 "2003-03-29T00:50:29Z")
I’ll have you know,this thread is responsible for a slightly puzzled,if not uncooperative husband. Namely,mine. I had to see the writhing for myself,and since my cackling caused him to be curious he was summarily de-pants once I had the door closed. They really do,it’s hypnotic. Now I know how the poor cobras feel. I’m waiting for nightfall to see the “poor man’s lava lamp” for myself. Now…where did I put that flashlight… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/97 "2003-03-29T01:03:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by FairyChatMom \* > **Eons ago when I was going thru OCS** Obsessive Compulsive Scrotum? Funniest thread in weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/98 "2003-03-29T01:16:24Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Guinastasia_ > > ## Dammit, I need a boyfriend. I HAVE to see this. > > _And answered by Tuckerfan_ > > Well, I’m free next Wednesday. Come on over. Okay single girls–party at **Tuckerfan’s** on Wednesday–who’s bringing snacks? (We probably hve enough nuts). And remember–you can point, or you can laugh. But you can’t point _and_ laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Kallessa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7993a0/32.png) [@Kallessa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kallessa)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/99 "2003-03-29T01:18:17Z")
On second thought–can we ever have too many nuts? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2003, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676/100 "2003-03-29T01:22:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kallessa \* > \*\*But you can’t point _and_ laugh. \*\* Oh, go ahead, I’m used to it by now. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-cover-your-nutsack-for-gods-sake/164676.md?page=6)