# Men - Do you automatically get the bill? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 2, 2016, 8:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-automatically-get-the-bill/747721 "2016-03-02T08:44:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2016, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-automatically-get-the-bill/747721/21 "2016-03-03T02:08:25Z")
I’m 20 years older than my husband (both male), and he’s the hot one. So he gets the great treatment and the flirts from the waiters, but I get the bill. Every. Single. Time. ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2016, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-automatically-get-the-bill/747721/22 "2016-03-03T05:21:42Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > When out with friends I grab the check unless someone else says, “Oh no, you got the last few”. It just feels better to be the one showing a little largesse. Never, ever do we “split the check”, that’s just petty in my eyes. I don’t think splitting the check 50/50 is petty. I think it’s petty to split the check doing the math to determine who owes what. So, I got a $6.00 salad, a $14.00 entrée, and a $2.00 iced tea while you got an $8.00 appetizer, an $11.00 entrée, and a $5.00 beer. I am _not_ going to tell the waiter to put $22.00 on my card and put $24.00 on your card! In fact, I wouldn’t even be aware that it came to $22.00/$24.00 because at no point would I have given any thought to it. We’d just split it 50/50. If it’s obvious that it’s a _huge_ difference? I got a salad and water while you got a burger, two beers, and a brownie sundae? Yeah, let’s look at the check to see what I owe for my salad (if you can’t be bothered to treat your dear friend **beinville** to a friggin’ salad after he’s treated you to so many content-rich, insightful, and humorous SDMB posts over the many years! Is one damn salad so much to ask!?!?!?) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2016, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-automatically-get-the-bill/747721/23 "2016-03-03T12:13:51Z")
I was thinking of three or four people eating together, then trying to divide the $$. It’s something I only see women do. To me, having one person pay just streamlines things. ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2016, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-automatically-get-the-bill/747721/24 "2016-03-03T13:28:05Z")
I ask to pay the whole bill if and only if it’s with my SO, else we pay separately (the way it usually works here in Germany when it comes to paying the waiter asks _Zusammen oder getrennt?_ i.e. ‘one bill or separate ones?’ so the question is settled at this point; very occasionally when my SO is mad at me of something I’d just said or not said she pipes up with ‘getrennt’ before I can say ‘zusammen’. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2016, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-automatically-get-the-bill/747721/25 "2016-03-03T14:15:51Z")
Here in Sweden equality is the name of the game. You are more likely to insult someone if you insist on paying the whole bill. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2016, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-automatically-get-the-bill/747721/26 "2016-03-03T15:04:38Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > I was thinking of three or four people eating together, then trying to divide the $$. It’s something I only see women do. To me, having one person pay just streamlines things. I don’t get this. This used to make sense, but these days it’s ridiculously easy for the waiter to separate the bill into four if everyone wants to pay. That way each person can be responsible for their own tip. And I’d venture to say, the waiter probably stands to make more with four separate tips rather than one. (This assumes you are not dining with Mr. Pink) ---
**Author:** ![bienville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@bienville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bienville)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2016, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-automatically-get-the-bill/747721/27 "2016-03-06T09:39:08Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > I don’t get this. This used to make sense, but these days it’s ridiculously easy for the waiter to separate the bill into four if everyone wants to pay. Speaking as a former waiter, it’s ridiculously easy if it’s split evenly rather than everyone getting a bill for exactly what they ordered. It can also be quite easy to split it according to what each person ordered _if they say at the start of the meal that they will want separate checks!_ When they don’t say at the beginning that they want separate checks, then it’s “Wait, did the guy who had the burger have the beer or the iced tea/did the woman with the fettuccine have the $6 Chardonnay and the woman with the fish have the $7 Chardonnay or did the woman with the fish have the $6 Chardonnay and the woman with the fettuccine have the $7 Chardonnay/Which three people had the dinner salad and which person had the Greek salad/everyone shared the appetizers but the appetizers were order by that one guy, is he treating everyone to appetizers or am I splitting the cost amongst them???” All of the above can be a minor annoyance when the waiter is not busy, but when the waiter is busy it can be a major pain in the ass. All this so that, among people who are supposedly friends, we gotta make sure that one person doesn’t pay $5 more than his share while two other people pay $2.50 less than their share. Petty. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2016, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-automatically-get-the-bill/747721/28 "2016-03-06T10:07:00Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > I don’t get this. This used to make sense, but these days it’s ridiculously easy for the waiter to separate the bill into four if everyone wants to pay. That way each person can be responsible for their own tip. I’ll tell you what’s easy. Paying cash. Everybody throws in enough to cover their own order, and some tip. If you _must_ pay by multiple card transactions, it is both deeply petty, and a goddamn pain in the ass, to make the staff sort out different anounts. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2016, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-automatically-get-the-bill/747721/29 "2016-03-06T17:57:06Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > I’ll tell you what’s easy. Paying cash. Everybody throws in enough to cover their own order, and some tip. I would go out for supper with a bunch of mathematics graduate students, and we’d almost always come up short using that method. Go figure. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-automatically-get-the-bill/747721.md?page=1)