# Men, do you have specific thoughts you use to induce detumescence when needed quickly? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 22, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371 "2010-03-22T18:46:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/1 "2010-03-22T18:46:54Z")
Not that men’s thoughts aren’t much much more often concerned with the opposite goal, but haven’t most of you been in a situation of _uh-oh, the boring meeting is going to break up in a moment, and my thoughts have … strayed._ ? Do you have a mental picture you use in such situations? Mine involves my being mildly acrophobic. I imagine standing on the viewing platform of a TV tower, only someone has taken away the railing and shut the door to the tower, there is a high wind and the floor is slippery with ice. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/2 "2010-03-22T19:01:28Z")
Barbara Bush. ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/3 "2010-03-22T19:08:14Z")
No…I blank my mind… Last time I tried the ‘think of something unsexy’ I ended up figuring out I DID think that it was sexy…:o ---
**Author:** ![MitzeKatze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@MitzeKatze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MitzeKatze)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/4 "2010-03-22T19:11:00Z")
I am not a man…but I have used such things against my husband when I am busy with something else. 😉 For him the phrase that seems to work is, “Michelle in a bikini” (Michelle being a woman he knows who he would not want to see in a bikini.) ---
**Author:** ![Mops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mops/32/16494_2.png) [@Mops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mops)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/5 "2010-03-22T19:17:46Z")
> [@Tengu](#): > > No…I blank my mind… I tried that too but it doesn’t work for me. Try not to think of an elephant… ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/6 "2010-03-22T19:28:21Z")
> [@tschild](#): > > I tried that too but it doesn’t work for me. Try not to think of an elephant… _Sexy_ elephants… ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/7 "2010-03-22T19:34:36Z")
A friend in high school hairless and bathing in pink goo in a fetal position. That usually does the trick. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/8 "2010-03-22T19:38:13Z")
VW engines. No kidding, it’s worked for years. I think of the engine in a [del]rear mounted[/del] in the back of an old Beetle. [See?](http://www.sunsetclassics.com/1974-beetle-convertible/images/vw-beetle-engine.jpg) It’s got to be an old Beetle engine though, the new ones are too sexy. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/9 "2010-03-22T19:55:15Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Barbara Bush. [http://macsmind.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/barbara-bush.jpg](http://macsmind.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/barbara-bush.jpg) It’s not working. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/10 "2010-03-22T19:58:30Z")
Old fat nuns. ---
**Author:** ![pojimba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@pojimba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pojimba)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/11 "2010-03-22T20:00:30Z")
Gramma ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/12 "2010-03-22T20:27:31Z")
I teach math to my invisible, stupid friend. He never gets it. ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/13 "2010-03-22T20:28:43Z")
When I was a teenager, I thought of razor blades slicing my dingus all to shreds. That worked. Now? Hell, I just let 'em happen. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/14 "2010-03-22T20:30:40Z")
You see, this is why I wear boxer briefs. It holds things in a less obvious position. The most you need to do is readjust the direction before standing and you are fine. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/15 "2010-03-22T20:32:57Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > I teach math to my invisible, stupid friend. He never gets it. Oh I’m pretty sure he’s figured out how to multiply. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/16 "2010-03-22T20:49:34Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > [http://macsmind.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/barbara-bush.jpg](http://macsmind.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/barbara-bush.jpg) > > It’s not working. ☹ Or [also](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbara_Pierce_Bush). > [@bup](#): > > Old fat nuns. Dead Kittens, dead kittens! Old nuns! Really old nuns! Renee Zellweger! ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/17 "2010-03-22T23:11:46Z")
Decubitus ulcers http:// [www.greystonepharmaceuticals.com/uploads/images/pressure\_ulcer.jpg](http://www.greystonepharmaceuticals.com/uploads/images/pressure_ulcer.jpg) (not safe for tumescence, other appetites, & lots of other things) ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/18 "2010-03-24T03:31:00Z")
Visualize your grandparents having wild, hard, crazy, sex. If that don’t do it…you must have hot grandparents… ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/19 "2010-03-24T03:51:05Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > Visualize your grandparents having wild, hard, crazy, sex. Man, at that point in time, I could imagine badger’s having sex, mushroom mushroom, and it would just serve as a turn-on. Anything involving sex is a no go IMO. ---
**Author:** ![kidneyfailure](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9f8e36/32.png) [@kidneyfailure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidneyfailure)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2010, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371/20 "2010-03-24T04:21:08Z")
When I was in high school I had this boring-ass Bio class that seemed to go on forever. I’d usually end up in a…uh…particular condition simply from sitting so long. Of course, when class was over I’d have to get up and go to my next classroom. What to do, eh? My solution was to stick my hand into the pocket closest to the engorged organ, grab it through the cloth, and then go about my way. That way, if people saw any bulges they’d just think it was my hand. After a few seconds of this and walking around it usually went away. Mental images never worked for me, I needed something more hands on (pun intended). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-do-you-have-specific-thoughts-you-use-to-induce-detumescence-when-needed-quickly/533371.md?page=2)