# Men - Have you ever been seduced? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 21, 2016, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986 "2016-06-21T21:40:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/21 "2016-06-22T03:03:34Z")
She said “Hi”, what else was I supposed to do? Be rude? ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/22 "2016-06-22T03:14:33Z")
I would not know if it was attempted or how often, as I have mad mutant signal-obliviousness powers; in the eventuality anyone _ **were** _ detected actually trying to lay down a full on “seduction” schtick on me, she’d likely end up steamed at the level of effort it would take her to convince me beyond reasonable doubt that it’s not some sort of joke or set-up, and it would ruin her “seductress” mood. All which probably influences how I am a strong advocate of women taking an equal active role – and doing so in plainspeak, it’s 2016 for Og’s sake. “She wants to be pursued”? We’ve both got better things to do with our time and resources. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/23 "2016-06-22T03:16:01Z")
Yeah. I’m easy. Cheap too. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/24 "2016-06-22T03:32:27Z")
> [@Chihuahua](#): > > HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA HA! HA! HA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA! > > Oh… heehee… Oh that’s funny… What are you on about? ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/25 "2016-06-22T03:44:52Z")
I frequently have offers or at least blatant overtures made at me but rarely by someone I would be interested in. I met a lady almost 2 months ago and we are both kind of smitten with each other. I am currently in a relationship and I don’t stray. This lady and I talk at least 3 or 4 times a week and lately she has been rubbing her boobs or her legs all over me any time she gets an excuse to move in close. The sexual tension is driving me up a wall but I continue to play like I don’t notice, I know she will soon give up and that is even bothering me. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/26 "2016-06-22T03:57:10Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > Yes, against my better judgement and into a situation fraught with peril; great sex, though. Same with me and that nutso nurse I got involved with as a lad. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/27 "2016-06-22T06:15:14Z")
I take it you are not interested in hearing the points of view of women who have seduced men? ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/28 "2016-06-22T09:50:18Z")
Yes, once upon a time and the seduction morphed into a full blown long-term affair that I will regret for the rest of my life. I do know I was at least as guilty as she: I could have just said “NO! but thanks for asking.” ---
**Author:** ![ekedolphin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ekedolphin/32/10003_2.png) [@ekedolphin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ekedolphin)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 9:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/29 "2016-06-22T09:57:58Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > I take it you are not interested in hearing the points of view of women who have seduced men? _I_ am. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/30 "2016-06-22T10:03:44Z")
Way back when I was in college, a woman tried to seduce me, before she knew I was gay. She had a hot boyfriend at the time. About a year later, after they had broken up, I ran into him in a gay bar, and we went home together. He had a good laugh when I told him his ex had come onto me while they were together. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/31 "2016-06-22T10:54:46Z")
Oh, yes. A few times. Just like in the song. _sigh_ [QUOTE=Leon Redbone] I want to be seduced Want a woman to take me out to dinner for two Like to see her eyes get moody Flirting with the thought of what flirting ought to do Like to be real cool Let her think about getting little me in bed Have a chat about Magna Carta Puerto Vallarta, something Ghandi said I might demur politely, falter slightly If she tried to fondle my knee But I’m relatively certain I’d compromise if I know me [/QUOTE] ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/32 "2016-06-22T11:59:56Z")
A few times, not always successfully. The one that stands out most is a business trip where a coworker showed up at my room wearing just a bathrobe and carrying a bottle of wine. I passed because it seemed like a business trip thing, where once we got back there’d be no contact. **To this day** I have no idea why that mattered to me. We were both single, I found her attractive, what was the problem? Ironically, I _was_ right - once we got back, she wasn’t interested. Oh, and when I was a teen the boss’s wife was working her way thru all the male employees, and I passed just because of how skeevy that seemed (damn if she wasn’t hot, though). Years later I ran into that boss and he was still married to her, and mentioned how she hated me and he could never figure out why… ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/33 "2016-06-22T12:32:15Z")
> [@12mgdaily](#): > > It appears more common for women to wait for a man to make the first move. I’m not asking about a woman making the first move, I’m asking about actual seduction where a woman uses her charms to lure a man into being intimate with her, when otherwise he wouldn’t have given the thought of being with her a second thought. The thing is, seduction is less clear-cut than who made the first move. Some people are just naturally seductive, and don’t seem to be making any conscious attempt to seduce. * * * I guess the closest I’ve had to a simple “yes” to the spirit of the OP question, was a friend who I used to flirt with all the time. She’d flirt back, but also tell me that of course I was too tall for her, that she only likes blonde guys etc. When we finally went next level, she admitted she’d wanted it to happen all along. Assuming this is true (and it’s not simply that she settled…), she’d played it very well. She was not originally my type either, but the tension was unbearable in the end. ---
**Author:** ![Chihuahua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dec6dc/32.png) [@Chihuahua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chihuahua)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/34 "2016-06-22T12:36:26Z")
> [@outlierrn](#): > > What are you on about? Oh, sorry, I meant to say, “No.” ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/35 "2016-06-22T14:12:43Z")
Yes. I’m kind of wired to respond to that dynamic. Mixed outcomes and experiences, but my sexuality is reactive for sure. * * * Does it seem to anyone else that there tends to be these two polar-opposite attitudes that emerge over and over in these discussions?: •“Men and women are inherently different. If you are This Sex and you want good outcomes you have to play this appropriate role or you just aren’t going to have any useful currency. This is just how it is, it’s nature, or it’s society, it’s the hand that fate dealt you, deal with it”. • “Whatever the fuck are you talking about? What world did you come from? Men and women are all just people, and people do X and people do Y, and being female or male doesn’t have much to do with it. Don’t act like it’s rare or atypical or unusual for guys to approach things the way girls do or vice versa, if anyone gives you any flack it’s probably for some other reason, because it works just fine, and the only one in here harboring sexist whatever is you”. … my own experiences of nearly all gendered behavior is more like this: • “People expect different things of you depending on what sex you are, and that includes your participatory role in a bunch of scripted interactions; and that can make it complicated and difficult if your behavior doesn’t match up with those expectations. But if you’re one of those, you aren’t the only such person and yes there are alternative scripts and scenarios and you can learn to navigate the world on those alternative vectors.” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/36 "2016-06-22T14:26:03Z")
I’d like to know exactly what your definition of being seduced is. I’ve never exactly been shy to let a man know I wanted to go to bed with him, and as I always tended to date the quiet reserved types often would instigate matters anyway. If I waited for them I might still be waiting. But I always waited until there was at least some indication of interest on the other side. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/37 "2016-06-22T14:45:16Z")
That’s a highly relevant question, **Anaamika**. “Seduction” could mean anything from “the other person sent hints and signals which put the idea of sex into my head, and of course I could not resist that” to “I did not want sex to happen, being opposed to it for some unstated-for-now reason, but the other person snuck up on me and elicited sensations and emotions sufficient to overcome my resistance”. I can only speak for my own use of it on this thread, but I use “seduced” as shorthand for “the other person instigated it and did overt physical things (not hinting or signal-sending or bringing it up as a conversation topic) to make sex happen”. Does not include or imply a constitutional aversion to sex on my part, or a sense of having been wronged or tricked. And in most of my actual first-time-with-that-person sexual experiences, what has happened has been either more of a back-and-forth escalation with each person watching for response before doing more (and taking turns doing more overt things to up the ante), or else she has brought it up conversationally and we discussed it right out in the open beforehand. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/38 "2016-06-22T15:45:18Z")
My ex-wife came after me. I resisted until one night we were drunk and stuff happened. Where was prohibition when I needed it? ---
**Author:** ![12mgdaily](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/f08c70/32.png) [@12mgdaily](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/12mgdaily)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/39 "2016-06-22T16:02:05Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > I take it you are not interested in hearing the points of view of women who have seduced men? Sure… I’d be interested in hearing what you (or any other women) have to say Carol. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2016, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986/40 "2016-06-22T16:07:07Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > I take it you are not interested in hearing the points of view of women who have seduced men? > [@12mgdaily](#): > > Sure… I’d be interested in hearing what you (or any other women) have to say Carol. Later that evening, a room was gotten. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-been-seduced/757986.md?page=3)