# Men, have you ever gotten a bad blowjob? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 18, 2010, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541 "2010-02-18T21:58:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/41 "2010-02-19T16:11:38Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > What? The OP is at least somewhat based on the premise that blowjobs, even bad ones, are usually still pretty good. No it isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/42 "2010-02-19T20:04:40Z")
Bad can either mean too much stimulation (including fangs) or too little. And yes, lack of enthusiasm is offputting. Having said that, for me it’s not a warmup for the main course. I value a great BJ far more than penetration. But the worst blowjob I’ve ever had was when the woman gave me about .000023 seconds of stimulation that I didn’t even feel, then cried for an hour into my pillow because I didn’t get off in those .000023 seconds. ---
**Author:** ![Laggard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9de053/32.png) [@Laggard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Laggard)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/43 "2010-02-19T20:31:08Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > But the worst blowjob I’ve ever had was when the woman gave me about .000023 seconds of stimulation that I didn’t even feel, then cried for an hour into my pillow because I didn’t get off in those .000023 seconds. I’d have asked her to leave after five minutes of crying. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/44 "2010-02-19T21:17:44Z")
> [@Laggard](#): > > I’d have asked her to leave after five minutes of crying. Oh, I wanted to. But she seemed a little fragile. As in, I wasn’t about to send her back into the world that distraught. ---
**Author:** ![Slypork](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@Slypork](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slypork)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/45 "2010-02-19T21:18:22Z")
Considering that I have to dig deep in my memory (last time I got one was around the time that Clinton got his from Monica) I do recall that all of them were good. Not that I had an extensive sample to base on. First girl was enthusiastic about it but ended with hand job. Still was very good. Next girl was unbelievable. Not only did she love to do it but I swear she came while going down on me. Then she swallowed. 😃 WOW!!! If she had asked me for my life savings at that moment I would have emptied my wallet then gone and robbed a bank. Next few girls were pros. Literally. I was stationed in Germany and frequented some of the adult entertainment locations. 😉 So they knew what they were doing and did it very well. Last girl was my wife. While she wasn’t the best and it was never to completion I still enjoyed every minute. Unfortunately, she never liked doing it and hasn’t even given the poor guy a kiss good night in ages. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/46 "2010-02-19T21:37:36Z")
I had a girlfriend once who had this bad molar … I don’t want to talk about it anymore. ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/47 "2010-02-19T22:21:20Z")
While some are definitely better than others, I would have voted #1 were it not for one evening with a woman I dated off and on when I was 19. She was incredibly enthusiastic, and the actual sex was still in my top 5, but she was also a nibbler and a ball sucker. Mix that together with the aforementioned enthusiasm and bad things happened. Blowjobs shouldn’t hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/48 "2010-02-19T22:28:11Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > No it isn’t. Then my apologies. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2010, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/49 "2010-02-19T22:35:49Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#): > > Then my apologies. I wasn’t insulted, so you needn’t apologize. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![eldowan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@eldowan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eldowan)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/50 "2010-02-20T02:01:15Z")
I’ve never had a bad one myself, every one has been from a person very talented indeed. However, a friend of mine once told me about having to yell at a girl because she was like a ‘pencil sharpener’ to use his phrasing. ---
**Author:** ![eldowan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@eldowan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eldowan)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/51 "2010-02-20T02:10:11Z")
> [@black\_rabbit](#): > > Pro tip for the dudes: never marry a chick who professes to have “jaw problems.” I have to completely disagree. my wife _does_ have jaw problems. She’s incredible. Mind altering, as stated above. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/52 "2010-02-20T05:05:48Z")
Doesn’t make the top 20 list of pleasant sexual behaviors. Oral sex might as well be nasal sex. Just not remotely interested. ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/53 "2010-02-20T05:18:05Z")
My longtime ex-girlfriend was fucking terrible at BJs In her defense, she didn’t like to give them. But Jesus. Men, let me tell you what a bad blowjob is. And I speak from experience. It’s bad when the woman isn’t into it. She’s doing it grudgingly. So it’s a half-hearted affair. She puts it in her mouth, but won’t do much else. It’s fairly dry. She’s terrified of the climax. She awkwardly goes up and down but avoids much friction. She won’t use her hands at all. You run your hands through her hair once, and she freaks - “I _KNOW_ how to do it! You don’t have to _RAM_ my head down!” Most of the time, you have to “help”. As in, jerk off until the moment, when she reluctantly gives “light kisses” to the unit in question while you guiltily orgasm. Then she tells you how gross the whole process is. Fuck her, she was the worst lover ever. But she is a great example of how a BJ can be a terrible and sad experience. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/54 "2010-02-20T08:14:58Z")
IME its 50/50, have had some good and some who had no business trying. I try not to be too judgemental because I sometimes have trouble acheiving orgasm via oral. Current g/f is probably the most consistently awesome. Historically, others have had moments of brilliance but as others have said, her enthusiasm and experience can make for a life changing bj. ---
**Author:** ![ARCLIGHT68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac8455/32.png) [@ARCLIGHT68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ARCLIGHT68)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/55 "2010-02-20T08:56:55Z")
I had a GF who was really into a good b/j. This gal loved giving head! But she used everything,tongue, lips, mouth, throat and both hands and she didn’t stop until SHE had every single drop out of you! She could literally suck the chrome off a trailer hitch! God that gal was good. She just really got into it and it was the first order of business every night we were together. Man she would head straight for your crotch and she didn’t care if you were driving or what! She was going to have that dude right now. Like to got us killed a couple of times driving! a bj and driving don’t mix real well! but she was a fun loving gal and I still miss those good times we shared! ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/56 "2010-02-20T11:53:39Z")
Speaking of BJs from Hell, is there any truth to the urban legend about the gal with a seizure disorder who . . .? ---
**Author:** ![Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8c91f0/32.png) [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/57 "2010-02-20T12:40:50Z")
Sorry to laugh at your misfortune, **GameHat** “guiltily orgasm” oh dear - but you DID come. I guess the next poll will be about bad orgasms … ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/58 "2010-02-20T16:01:40Z")
> [@GameHat](#): > > My longtime ex-girlfriend was fucking terrible at BJs > > In her defense, she didn’t like to give them. > > But Jesus. > > Men, let me tell you what a bad blowjob is. And I speak from experience. > > It’s bad when the woman isn’t into it. She’s doing it grudgingly. So it’s a half-hearted affair. She puts it in her mouth, but won’t do much else. It’s fairly dry. She’s terrified of the climax. She awkwardly goes up and down but avoids much friction. She won’t use her hands at all. You run your hands through her hair once, and she freaks - “I _KNOW_ how to do it! You don’t have to _RAM_ my head down!” > > Most of the time, you have to “help”. As in, jerk off until the moment, when she reluctantly gives “light kisses” to the unit in question while you guiltily orgasm. > > Then she tells you how gross the whole process is. > > Fuck her, she was the worst lover ever. But she is a great example of how a BJ can be a terrible and sad experience. Wait, what? She was actually willing to give oral attention while you were orgasming? You ain’t plumbed the depths yet, feller. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2010, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/59 "2010-02-20T17:16:29Z")
Ignorance fought. I thought you guys would say, “There is no such thing as a bad b/j.” I stand corrected. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Obeseus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbce88/32.png) [@Obeseus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obeseus)\ **Post date:** [February 21, 2010, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541/60 "2010-02-21T22:18:51Z")
Other than one chick who seemed to think my penis was a tooth sharpener, I couldn’t call a BJ a bad experience. I wonder, though, for those who have had bad blow jobs or have lovers who don’t particularly like it – have you tried BJ on the rocks? After hearing a friend tell me it was the ultmate BJ, I wondered if he was putting me on. Nonetheless, I just had to try it. I didn’t find it any better than an ice-less BJ, and it took a bit to get used to. I could take it or leave it, but to my surprise, every woman I’ve had try it has preferred having a mouthful of ice. They say it works best with crushed ice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-have-you-ever-gotten-a-bad-blowjob/529541.md?page=4)