# Men: Hot and lousy in bed or ugly and great in bed? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 10, 2008, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091 "2008-02-10T23:13:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gus\_Gusterson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/85f322/32.png) [@Gus\_Gusterson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gus_Gusterson)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/21 "2008-02-11T14:46:25Z")
I enjoy sex a lot more when I can see what is happening and who I’m with. I would take the hot cold fish over the ugly sex pot. I didn’t even have to think about it. The ugliest woman possible is pretty fucking ugly. I wouldn’t be able to get it up for her no matter how good she was in bed. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/22 "2008-02-11T15:05:09Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] [Andrea Dworkin](http://www.rodneyanonymous.com/archives/fatpig.jpg) (who, thankfully, would never have put me in such a position anyway). [/QUOTE] To quote Sgt. Howie from _The Wicker Man:_ Oh Jesus Christ! Oh GOD! CHRIIIIIISSSST!!! I love that the name of that image is “fatpig.jpg.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/23 "2008-02-11T15:11:22Z")
I think I’d go with option C. Women are like buses, there’ll always be another one along in 20 minutes. Barring that, I think I’d go with the ugly tiger. At least she has a sense of fun. Those of you who would take the hot coldy, have you ever actually been with one? It’s not a matter of her being passive while you have sex with her, it’s a matter of her saying no to everything you try. “I’m not in the mood” gets really old really fast. Dump her and masturbate instead. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/24 "2008-02-11T15:23:23Z")
I’ll throw another vote out for the hottie. Worst case scenario when you see her walking by later and your buddies are drooling you can tell them she’s awful. With the ugly one your going to be hiding you face every time she waves at you. ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/25 "2008-02-11T16:13:36Z")
[QUOTE=jackelope] I can’t believe this is even a question. I’d take the ugly one who’s a tiger in the sack. [/QUOTE] And I’ll take the other. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/26 "2008-02-11T16:18:00Z")
[QUOTE=Argent Towers] To quote Sgt. Howie from _The Wicker Man:_ Oh Jesus Christ! Oh GOD! CHRIIIIIISSSST!!! I love that the name of that image is “fatpig.jpg.” [/QUOTE] Look at Susan again. She looks a lot better now. Right? Now look at Susan’s [“O” face](http://www.cockedandlocked.net/images/Estrich.jpg). Eek. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/27 "2008-02-11T16:27:37Z")
Unless they were standing side by side, how would you know which one to choose? Do they have letters of recommendation? Testimonials? Even if they were standing side by side, would the prettiest one get all the play? I think I’d pick the one that showed an interest in me. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/28 "2008-02-11T17:13:23Z")
[QUOTE=jackelope] I can’t believe this is even a question. I’d take the ugly one who’s a tiger in the sack. [/QUOTE] Good, because I’ll take anything. In actuality, the question is bogus. If a woman isn’t attractive, why would I even want to bang her, regardless of her ‘technique’? ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/29 "2008-02-11T18:36:18Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] In actuality, the question is bogus. If a woman isn’t attractive, why would I even want to bang her, regardless of her ‘technique’? [/QUOTE] Because she said yes, or even asked for it? Back in my single days, any willing partner was a good partner. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/30 "2008-02-11T18:49:07Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] I’d still rather do Jessica Alba. It’s only going to take a few seconds anyway. [/QUOTE] I think you are giving yourself too much credit. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/31 "2008-02-11T18:51:05Z")
You guys are out of your mind. You can’t teach a bad lay to be a good one. I’d take the unattractive girl 100% of the time. ---
**Author:** ![Sanity\_Challenged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de053/32.png) [@Sanity\_Challenged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sanity_Challenged)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/32 "2008-02-11T19:09:58Z")
You’re walking down the street, your friends all go, “Oh wow, look at that hottie!” You calmly say, “Ehhh, been there, done that. She wasn’t that great.” Status: Pimp You’re walking down the street, your friends all go, “Oh wow, what a dog! Woof woof!” You respond, “actually, you wouldn’t know it, but she’s quite the tiger!” “Yeah right, dude! How drunk were you? BWAHAHAHAHA!” Status: Putz ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/33 "2008-02-11T19:12:21Z")
[QUOTE=Mosier] You guys are out of your mind. You can’t teach a bad lay to be a good one. I’d take the unattractive girl 100% of the time. [/QUOTE] I would rather just kneel there on the bed and jerk off while looking at a hot woman, than sleep with someone who I found to be physically ugly. If you’re talking about an AVERAGE looking woman who’s a great fuck versus a hot woman who’s not, sure, I’ll take the average looking one. Average is not the same as ugly. A woman that I find ugly _cannot_ be a great lay to me, because sex is about more than the physical contact or mental attitude of the partner for me, it is also about _how they look._ I wouldn’t even be able to get it hard for a woman I found ugly, even if she had good sexual technique (enthusiasm, moving her body rhythmically with mine, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/34 "2008-02-11T19:18:05Z")
Is she ugly and disgusting, or just ugly? If she’s just ugly I’ll take the ugly one. Otherwise I’ll take hot and great in bed, or nothing. ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/35 "2008-02-11T19:44:39Z")
[QUOTE=D\_Odds] Because she said yes, or even asked for it? Back in my single days, any willing partner was a good partner. [/QUOTE] There was a time when my standards were “a hole and a heartbeat.” ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/36 "2008-02-11T20:38:30Z")
[QUOTE=Mosier] You guys are out of your mind. You can’t teach a bad lay to be a good one. I’d take the unattractive girl 100% of the time. [/QUOTE] I’ll be your wingman. I’d want the hottie. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/37 "2008-02-11T20:45:29Z")
[QUOTE=Mosier] You guys are out of your mind. You can’t teach a bad lay to be a good one. [/QUOTE] Cite? Of course you can. Maybe not in the 20 minutes we’re alluding to here, but almost every one of the dynamos had some instruction. And we’re just going with bad lay, which equals bad technique. All bets are off if it’s something really weird like she starts crying or something. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/38 "2008-02-11T21:10:47Z")
[QUOTE=Sanity Challenged] You’re walking down the street, your friends all go, “Oh wow, look at that hottie!” You calmly say, “Ehhh, been there, done that. She wasn’t that great.” Status: Pimp You’re walking down the street, your friends all go, “Oh wow, what a dog! Woof woof!” You respond, “actually, you wouldn’t know it, but she’s quite the tiger!” “Yeah right, dude! How drunk were you? BWAHAHAHAHA!” Status: Putz [/QUOTE] I suppose that if the only reason you have sex is for status in your peer group, then you’d have a point. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/39 "2008-02-11T21:17:44Z")
If someone told me that the donkey in the field down the street gave the best, most technically adept, and satisfying blowjob in the world, I wouldn’t put my dick in the donkey’s mouth, because I don’t fancy donkeys. If someone told me that Vida Guerra was crap in bed, I’d at least want to find out. ---
**Author:** ![Mosier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ea924/32.png) [@Mosier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mosier)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2008, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091/40 "2008-02-11T21:36:04Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] Cite? Of course you can. Maybe not in the 20 minutes we’re alluding to here, but almost every one of the dynamos had some instruction. And we’re just going with bad lay, which equals bad technique. All bets are off if it’s something really weird like she starts crying or something. [/QUOTE] Being good in bed is not about technique. You cant teach a robot to be good in bed. It’s an emotional, mental, and psychological combination of factors that are all part of a person’s personality. Women who are good in bed aren’t good just because someone taught them the right way to wiggle. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-hot-and-lousy-in-bed-or-ugly-and-great-in-bed/437091.md?page=3)