# Men how you feel about being quizzed about your "3, 5 and 10 year life plans" on a first date? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 26, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525 "2014-08-26T02:11:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/1 "2014-08-26T02:11:28Z")
The topic is making conversation but the suggestions in this video’s suggestion come across (to me) like ham handed job performance or job interview questions. How would you react to a woman wanting to know your your 3, 5 and 10 year “life plans” on a first date? [First Date Go-To Conversation Topics In Case You Panic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__Nv4f1PyNo) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/2 "2014-08-26T04:40:51Z")
It might make me wary. It might just be an ice-breaker (like the video intends) or it could be a sign that somebody is reading way too much into a relationship that’s only on a first date. It could be the equivalent of discussing what kind of wedding you’d like and how many children you want. ---
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/3 "2014-08-26T04:45:39Z")
Unless she has a golden vagina she better not be asking me any of those questions:D ---
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/4 "2014-08-26T04:47:15Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > It might make me wary. It might just be an ice-breaker (like the video intends) or it could be a sign that somebody is reading way too much into a relationship that’s only on a first date. It could be the equivalent of discussing what kind of wedding you’d like and how many children you want. those are nowhere near ice breaker questions ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/5 "2014-08-26T05:04:12Z")
I think anybody who has a 3-year or more plan is deluding themselves. I can barely plan a trip to the grocery store. ---
**Author:** ![RaftPeople](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@RaftPeople](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaftPeople)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/6 "2014-08-26T05:16:47Z")
> [@](#): > > …a trip to the grocery store. That was my 3 year plan. ---
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/7 "2014-08-26T05:18:26Z")
I hate that other questions Do you want kids Do you like your job :smack::smack::smack: ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/8 "2014-08-26T05:22:46Z")
I dislike it on a first date when I feel I am being assessed as to my money-making potential or just generally being measured to fit someone’s list of “desirables.” I like to get the impression that the person is speaking with me in somewhat of an altruistic fashion. I would not be amused at being quizzed on my “plans.” ---
**Author:** ![7e42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/7/51bf81/32.png) [@7e42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/7e42)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/9 "2014-08-26T05:25:24Z")
> [@Aeschines](#): > > I dislike it on a first date when I feel I am being assessed as to my money-making potential or just generally being measured to fit someone’s list of “desirables.” I like to get the impression that the person is speaking with me in somewhat of an altruistic fashion. I would not be amused at being quizzed on my “plans.” And that’s personal info, I don’t reveal my goals with just any woman just because she has a vagina ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/10 "2014-08-26T05:41:03Z")
Hell, I’d be wary of any man that had smooth, pat answers to those questions. ---
**Author:** ![Killing\_Time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/76d3ee/32.png) [@Killing\_Time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Killing_Time)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/11 "2014-08-26T05:53:33Z")
> [@astro](#): > > How would you react to a woman wanting to know your your 3, 5 and 10 year “life plans” on a first date? I would say, “My 3, 5, and 10 year life plans are to never date you again.” Then I would whip my cock out and wave it in her face. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/12 "2014-08-26T05:58:00Z")
^ ftw 😛 ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/13 "2014-08-26T06:04:24Z")
From the video: “Ask him if he has any hidden talents you should know about.” That sounds deliciously dirty. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/14 "2014-08-26T06:21:56Z")
For my 38th birthday I want a lego millenium falcon. For my 40th, that’s a big birthday, and I think the next next gen consoles will be out then, so I want an XBox Two. For my 45th, maybe anal? ---
**Author:** ![iljitsch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/77aa72/32.png) [@iljitsch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iljitsch)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/15 "2014-08-26T07:19:28Z")
It’s not as bad as what do you do / where did you grow up / how many siblings do you have. Those are all things that will be abundantly clear once you know each other a bit, but really don’t matter in the early stages. This question is open enough that you can answer with something interesting about yourself that wouldn’t otherwise come up: talk about travel plans, your bucket list or any long term projects you’re working on. Just be a politician, ignore the question and stick to your own talking points. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/16 "2014-08-26T07:45:44Z")
Why is this question asked only of the men on this board? ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/17 "2014-08-26T07:55:35Z")
You’d be surprised how many women are taught to discover a man’s financial potential before seriously dating him. I went to school with such women, and it blindsided me time and again because it was the last thing I ever thought of when it came to potentially dating a guy. I’m not saying the woman in the video is doing just that, but her questions automatically reminded me of this. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/18 "2014-08-26T08:21:55Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > Why is this question asked only of the men on this board? Because the linked video was about conversational topics for women dating men? Because men don’t quiz women about 3, 5 and 10 year life plans on a first date, or media aimed at men don’t advise them to? ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/19 "2014-08-26T08:48:54Z")
All I know is that the categories of a) women most likely to ask, b) women who would be the least happy with my answers, and c) women that I would be the least interested in dating in the first place somehow seem to overlap exactly. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525/20 "2014-08-26T09:10:26Z")
It’s a better line of questioning than, “How long have you been on parole?” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-how-you-feel-about-being-quizzed-about-your-3-5-and-10-year-life-plans-on-a-first-date/696525.md?page=2)