# Men in their 40's or above, how do you stay attracted to women your own age? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2017, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623 "2017-07-19T03:47:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![stolatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@stolatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolatt)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/281 "2017-07-24T20:24:39Z")
I don’t see where you’ll find anyone for the long term. A young woman will get old. What if your perfect woman gets seriously ill and her illness changes her body type? What if she doesn’t always want to go to places you like? A young, foolish doormat might put up with your opinion of women for a while though. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/282 "2017-07-24T20:27:59Z")
Well, part of the issue is that he doesn’t so much want “someone for the long term” as someone who’ll be available whenever he wants and not be around when he wants not. What was that line about paying somebody to leave…? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/283 "2017-07-24T22:36:46Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Furthermore, would you encourage your daughters to do this (in their 20s with a man in their 40s)? Encourage? No, of course not. I will strongly “encourage” someone else’s daughter to do this with me however. That is the relationship relativity that I talked about earlier. I wouldn’t want my daughters to be strippers or do porn either but that doesn’t mean that I am not happy that both exist. I did get two responses today from 20-somethings after I dropped my age preferences way down this weekend based on the advice in this thread. They aren’t quite the type I am looking for but there is some hope. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/284 "2017-07-24T22:45:03Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Encourage? No, of course not. I will strongly “encourage” someone else’s daughter to do this with me however. That is the relationship relativity that I talked about earlier. I wouldn’t want my daughters to be strippers or do porn either but that doesn’t mean that I am not happy that both exist. > > I did get two responses today from 20-somethings after I dropped my age preferences way down this weekend based on the advice in this thread. They aren’t quite the type I am looking for but there is some hope. How do you feel about your daughters becoming wives? What advice would you give them in this regard? ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/285 "2017-07-24T22:55:07Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > _ **Brilliant.** _ Ditto. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/286 "2017-07-24T22:55:59Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > How do you feel about your daughters becoming wives? What advice would you give them in this regard? They can make their own choices on that. I already told them that I don’t care if they ever get married at all but, if they do, it better be someone that treats them really well. I wouldn’t advise anyone to marry someone like me. I don’t make a good husband and I know that so I removed myself from that pool. However, I am a very good father and I can make a good boyfriend for the right person. I think I got it from, well, just about everyone in my family but especially my father. He is very charming and good looking but makes a terrible husband and already struck out for the 3rd and final time. He somehow is a very good grandfather though. Those are just very different roles. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2017, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/287 "2017-07-24T22:57:00Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > Ditto. I liked it too 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/288 "2017-07-25T00:01:26Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I liked it too 🙂 I’m not at all surprised. You and the president would seem to have much in common when it comes to your views towards women. This is not an attractive trait. Do you think your daughters don’t pick up on your disdain towards women? If they don’t now, they definitely will when they’re older. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/289 "2017-07-25T00:23:29Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > I’m not at all surprised. You and the president would seem to have much in common when it comes to your views towards women. This is not an attractive trait. > > Do you think your daughters don’t pick up on your disdain towards women? If they don’t now, they definitely will when they’re older. It is a different relationship. I share things here that I don’t in real life plus I have my own writing style that ticks a lot of people off in ways that I don’t in person. I don’t have a disdain towards women in general at all. I am a momma’s boy and a devoted father to two girls just like I wanted. The only thing I told my daughters is that they aren’t ever getting a stepmom. They were happy with that news and have never met anyone that either me or their mother goes out with. That is completely separate. I understand some of the criticism but I am not sure I can do much to change it. I am very mild compared to some of my friends and family members. The best I could do is suppress my interests, take some acting classes and pretend to be someone else but what good would that do. I am not going to mistreat anyone so it is best just to make things clear up front. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/290 "2017-07-25T01:03:17Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > They aren’t quite the type I am looking for but there is some hope. Maybe we can form a prayer circle. Who’s with me? ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/291 "2017-07-25T01:11:38Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I have my own writing style that ticks a lot of people off in ways that I don’t in person. I’d say it’s more your content than your style. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/292 "2017-07-25T01:19:13Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Maybe we can form a prayer circle. > > Who’s with me? Sorry, Shag. That was the weed talking. Get your dick wet. We behind you. Just maybe don’t talk about it. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/293 "2017-07-25T01:23:40Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Sorry, Shag. That was the weed talking. Get your dick wet. We behind you. Just maybe don’t talk about it. \ ---
**Author:** ![HelenGawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@HelenGawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HelenGawn)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/294 "2017-07-25T01:26:16Z")
Sounds like Shagnasty (and now I understand the name) takes the late John Derek as his role model (except for the marrying part). Three of Derek’s [wives, married twenty years apart.](http://www.thewomenseye.com/2011/12/06/interview-linda-evans-cooks-up-recipes-for-life/lindaursulabo/) ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/295 "2017-07-25T01:31:11Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I liked it too 🙂 You don’t find it more than a little sad that you could be so easily compared to such a misogynist fool? You really, really are tone deaf. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/296 "2017-07-25T02:39:13Z")
Wow. I jumped in yesterday to answer the question in the title. Now that I’ve read some of our host’s posts, EWWWWW! ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/297 "2017-07-25T03:00:09Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > Wow. I jumped in yesterday to answer the question in the title. Now that I’ve read some of our host’s posts, EWWWWW! Feel free to answer the original question. I still haven’t heard a convincing answer. Why EWWWW? We are comparing them to women in their early 30’s, not recent college graduates. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/298 "2017-07-25T03:08:36Z")
For those of you that are balking, don’t you have preferences of your own? I have never met someone that would go out with people from any age group, race or anything else no matter how open-minded they claimed to be otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/299 "2017-07-25T03:10:49Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > For those of you that are balking, don’t you have preferences of your own? I have never met someone that would go out with people from any age group, race or anything else no matter how open-minded they claimed to be otherwise. Again, it’s not that you have preferences. It’s the subtext of disdain for women in general, and explicit disdain for older women, that people are reacting to. No one cares who you’re attracted to. It’s how you describe yourself and women that raises the ick factor. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2017, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/300 "2017-07-25T03:14:05Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I have my own writing style that ticks a lot of people I’ve never been ticked off by your writing style. Not sure who you think is. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623.md?page=16)