# Men in their 40's or above, how do you stay attracted to women your own age? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2017, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623 "2017-07-19T03:47:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 28
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/542 "2017-08-14T02:15:07Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I already tried psychiatrists it very literally almost killed me as in ICU level. Never again. I wasn’t expected to live live but I did and I live life on my own terms now. I am not unhappy at all. > > I consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world. I would be happy to share some of it with the right person but others keep throwing up pointless roadblocks to even the simplest things. If you want to go to Hawaii in two weeks, I can do that but I can guarantee you that there is a 50-50 chance that the other person will find a way to fuck up the whole plan. > > It is hard to find someone over 40 that enjoys life. I don’t think it is juvenile to want to ride roller coasters, go skydiving and explore something out of their comfort zone. I do and that is what I look for. I am not interested in your grandmother’s green bean casserole recipe. > > My daughters are coming back from Costa Rica tonight and I am turning them straight back again to go to Colorado for helicopter tours and whitewater rafting with me. That is minimum level of participation that is required. All you have to do is try and few people do. You’re special and blameless, I get it. You’ll never see otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/543 "2017-08-14T02:45:49Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > You’re special and blameless, I get it. You’ll never see otherwise. I am definitely different by all accounts but I never I never claimed that I am “blameless”. I think I am a world class class fuck-up but at least I am sweet and fun. I just want everyone to have a good time. The difference between me and the rest of the fuck-ups is that I actually care and try to do better. True self-awareness is a rare trait. I don’t mind being criticized and I do listen to fine people like yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/544 "2017-08-14T02:58:18Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I am definitely different by all accounts but I never I never claimed that I am “blameless”. I think I am a world class class fuck-up but at least I am sweet and fun. I just want everyone to have a good time. The difference between me and the rest of the fuck-ups is that I actually care and try to do better. True self-awareness is a rare trait. I don’t mind being criticized and I do listen to fine people like yourself. Do yourself a favor and read back your posts in this thread; see how often you talk about how rare your behavior is and how everyone else sucks w/o exception. Can you do that, a bare minimum of self-reflection in this one thread? ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/545 "2017-08-14T05:27:29Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > Your Nigerian co-worker (I DO wonder why his ethnicity is important except oh now, it’s fucking Shagnasty so it’s really no wonder that’s he’s categorized someone rather than treat them like a person equal to himself) is by far the LEAST idiotic of the two of you. This is a warning for you…don’t insult people outside of the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/546 "2017-08-14T06:31:21Z")
I have students who take my private English lessons and I teach a couple of precocious middle school girls. Both of them are damn smart and extremely funny. Truly a joy to teach. And it speaks volumes that Shag considers that age to be an ideal date. These girls are . . . girls. One minute they can seem like adults, but the next they’re six. Putting aside any icky questions and the premise, it baffles me that someone would consider an adolescent girl an ideal date for conversation and maturity. This comes up sometimes in threads about going back in time to high school. There are always guys who say that they could totally get the cheerleader this time, while others remind them that these are high school girls. Make that another five years younger and it’s not a little disturbing. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/547 "2017-08-14T11:15:17Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I suspect part of this problem may be regional. New England women are a little…different and not in a good way. New England woman have a considerably lower tolerance for bullshit than women are down south, IME. I’m female, BTW, so this is based on observation and conversations with friends. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/548 "2017-08-14T11:29:53Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > New England woman have a considerably lower tolerance for bullshit than women are down south, IME. > > I’m female, BTW, so this is based on observation and conversations with friends. +1 (native New Englander here, btw) We do. I want to say it’s because of a combination of education plus culture. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/549 "2017-08-14T12:18:59Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > I have students who take my private English lessons and I teach a couple of precocious middle school girls. Both of them are damn smart and extremely funny. Truly a joy to teach. > > And it speaks volumes that Shag considers that age to be an ideal date. These girls are . . . girls. One minute they can seem like adults, but the next they’re six. > > Putting aside any icky questions and the premise, it baffles me that someone would consider an adolescent girl an ideal date for conversation and maturity. > > This comes up sometimes in threads about going back in time to high school. There are always guys who say that they could totally get the cheerleader this time, while others remind them > that these are high school girls. Make that another five years younger and it’s not a little disturbing. You don’t have to make everything as creepy as possible because it doesn’t apply in this case. All I meant was my youngest daughter is fun and cute in a way that most older women aren’t. She is happy to go swimming, play chess, perform gymnastics or just have a blast just about anywhere. She is very pretty but there is nothing sexual about it. She just provides a sharp contrast to women 20 or more years older that may have once been the same way but lost it at some point. Of course you wouldn’t want to date a fully grown woman with the mentality of a middle-schooler but that is a false dichotomy. It is perfectly possible to be fun and mature at the same time but few people pull it off. I just want people that haven’t already turned into Aunt Bee or Judge Judy by the time they are 35. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/550 "2017-08-14T16:52:34Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > I understand this frustrates you, but it might help to keep in mind that some people have legitimate executive functioning problems, such as those with ADHD, that interfere with their ability to manage time, and is not a personal slight against you. It may not be personal and I can certainly sympathize. But I also don’t want to be 2 hours late to every event because my partner can’t keep her shit together. > [@Shagnasty](#): > > What we are talking about here is different though. It is a competitive game and you can’t tell who is going to screw you over until you get blindsided. I was supposed to have a date with someone in Newport, Rhode Island today. She just dropped communication for no reason and never called me back. I don’t do that to anyone because I think it is disrespectful. Like I said, that isn’t just women. Male friends have done it to me as well. What they don’t realize is that I consider anything like that a blatant lie and I will hurt you for it. It may take months or even years but I will strike when the opportunity arises. I have done it to bunch of people with no regrets and I will happily do it again. Maybe they do realize it? People generally don’t want to be around other people who harbor grudges for months and years waiting for the opportunity to “hurt them” over a perceived slight as insignificant as “not calling you back”. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/551 "2017-08-14T18:15:59Z")
> [@TokyoBayer](#): > > I have students who take my private English lessons and I teach a couple of precocious middle school girls. Both of them are damn smart and extremely funny. Truly a joy to teach. > > And it speaks volumes that Shag considers that age to be an ideal date. These girls are . . . girls. One minute they can seem like adults, but the next they’re six. > > Putting aside any icky questions and the premise, it baffles me that someone would consider an adolescent girl an ideal date for conversation and maturity. > > This comes up sometimes in threads about going back in time to high school. There are always guys who say that they could totally get the cheerleader this time, while others remind them > that these are high school girls. Make that another five years younger and it’s not a little disturbing. I think it’s kind of creepy that you describe middle-school girls as smart and funny and a joy to teach, and then jump on Shaggy because you think he wants to date them. He didn’t say that. He said his daughter is the ideal of what he wants in a date, but really, don’t you think some of this is just the rosy glow of parenthood? I sure didn’t read it as him saying he wanted to date middle-schoolers, any more than you yourself said that. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/552 "2017-08-14T18:27:16Z")
> [@GreenWyvern](#): > > Look, strippers and escorts are also human beings, and they’re just trying to get by. But they are usually psychologically damaged and very, very cynical and manipulative. They will look you in the eye, smile sweetly, and lie convincingly. And laugh at you with their friends afterwards. Appropriate quote from the Onion: > **[Stripper Thinks Customer Flirting With Her](https://www.theonion.com/stripper-thinks-customer-flirting-with-her-1819574806)** > > PROVIDENCE, RI—Noting his furtive glances, suggestive body language, and the fact that he’s been laughing at all of her jokes, local exotic dancer Mandy Galloway, 26, told reporters Wednesday that she believes a customer at the Foxy Lady strip club... ---
**Author:** ![Corry\_El](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Corry\_El](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corry_El)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/553 "2017-08-14T19:52:37Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > 1. I should clarify. I am beginning to think you are some kind of masochist for continuing to post your thoughts about women in this thread. > > 2. I have actually used the phrase ‘‘objectively attractive’’ before so I’m not too worried about that phrasing. I use it to mean, ‘‘most people would be attracted to this person.’’ 1. Maybe the term masochist is loaded but I don’t generally like proceeding with opinions and accounts of my personal life against intensely negative feedback. It is very different than what a lot of people would do, that’s true. 2. I agree here. There’s a subjective element of physical/sexual attractiveness but a more universal element as well, and we live now not in the past or the future so that dimension is of dubious relevance IMO. Different cultures/subcultures as well as individuals of course emphasize different aspects of physical\* attractiveness differently but as straight male\*\* my experience is that what I consider a pretty hot woman is not very likely to be found outright ugly by another guy, setting aside people trying to make points for other reasons (‘I like my own race’ which is an acceptable statement from members of some races though not others in PC convention, or ‘I could do so much better than that’ etc). And emphasizing _unlikely_, not impossible. IOW there’s a fairly strong correlation among what straight men as individuals or members of (sub)cultures find physically attractive, not 100% correlation, but far from zero. That’s an unpleasant fact in some respects, and some people believe that unpleasant facts that are trends or correlations, not 100% absolutes, can be just waved off and everyone’s the better for it. I doubt it. \*overall ‘attractiveness’ as in making a life time commitment to somebody is different enough IMO to warrant a different conversation. But anyway it also has objective elements. For example high income in a man is seldom unattractive to a woman. I hope it isn’t ist/phobic to make such an obvious statement, which does not mean it’s the key element or always an element, just hard to see how somebody could seriously argue the point other than via unusual exceptions tending to prove the rule, or else twisting my words into something other than what I said. High income in a woman can be either a positive or threatening to a man, the latter via embedded social conventions which might be deemed stupid but still exist. \*\*isolating on this example because I have my own ideas as well as observing others’, I don’t have much of an opinion who is an attractive man generally, except at a real extreme. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/554 "2017-08-14T21:02:03Z")
> [@GreenWyvern](#): > > Look, strippers and escorts are also human beings, and they’re just trying to get by. But they are usually psychologically damaged and very, very cynical and manipulative. They will look you in the eye, smile sweetly, and lie convincingly. And laugh at you with their friends afterwards. I have a friend who is a bit of a Nigerian Strip Club Magician. In fact, he ended up marrying a stripper from one of the clubs in New York we used to frequent. It didn’t work out, but she was actually very nice. Mostly the issue was she married the sort of asshole you’d except to marry a stripper.😉 But I couldn’t date one seriously, for the very reasons you say. I know I’m awesome, but always in the back of my mind would be that she was trying to manipulate me. I mean what better way to make money as a stripper than to find some six-figure corporate jerk to take care of her until they divorce and she gets half his shit? ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/555 "2017-08-14T21:26:06Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I have a friend who is a bit of a Nigerian Strip Club Magician. In fact, he ended up marrying a stripper from one of the clubs in New York we used to frequent. It didn’t work out, but she was actually very nice. Mostly the issue was she married the sort of asshole you’d except to marry a stripper.😉 > But I couldn’t date one seriously, for the very reasons you say. I know I’m awesome, but always in the back of my mind would be that she was trying to manipulate me. I mean what better way to make money as a stripper than to find some six-figure corporate jerk to take care of her until they divorce and she gets half his shit? You are awesome but that is the same reason I wouldn’t date one either. There is no way in hell that I could ever trust one fully. Still, I think good strippers perform a valuable public service and have their place. Like I said, I got a whole lot more out more of that “counseling session” that any therapist appointment I have ever been to. Contrary to popular belief, they don’t just blow sunshine up your ass unless that is what you ask for. I asked mine to be kind but brutally honest and she did. It is just like a therapist as long as your therapist is a super-hot 25 year old that will strip and sit on your lap while you work through any issues you may be facing. For $70, it is way more cost effective than any of the other types of professionals I have ever seen. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/556 "2017-08-14T21:41:46Z")
Corry El, one of those general differences between men and women is that there tends to be more variation in what women find attractive. This might explain why anecdotally you see more hot chicks with average guys than vice-versa. I confess I don’t much like generalizations because I rarely fit them. For example, I don’t care how much money a man makes and I’m annoyed that my husband has more education than I do given that we are roughly the same level of intelligence. I don’t want my status attached to his. Of course I’m proud of him, but that shit chafes at my ego, which is the opposite of the statistical trend, apparently. I’m decidedly average in appearance but some guys are attracted to me and my husband is REALLY attracted to me. Everyone is someone’s type. This is a rambling aside but it annoys me how much effort women seem to put into convincing themselves that they are beautiful no matter what. The whole body positive movement, I mean. I think people are beautiful as humans, but it strikes me as a pointless and maybe even harmful endeavor because it still attaches value to a totally arbitrary characteristic and that value is still defined by men. I never labored under any delusion that I could be highly valued for my appearance so instead I focused on making and doing and creating and I met a guy who wanted all of that and thinks I’m hot. So you can live a fulfilled life withhold convincing yourself, accurately or not, that you are beautiful. It just seems like an utter fucking waste of time and energy. The bonus of not being super attractive is you don’t lose your sense of value or identity as you age. Maybe that’s why I’m unthreatened by Shag’s comments about older women. I really feel I have nothing to lose and was never anywhere near his target demographic anyhow. I think that line of thinking also sets me apart from many women. I like the Dope in part because the women here seem like a bunch of misfits. Like me. Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2017, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/557 "2017-08-14T22:38:03Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > What they don’t realize is that I consider anything like that a blatant lie and I will hurt you for it. It may take months or even years but I will strike when the opportunity arises. I have done it to bunch of people with no regrets and I will happily do it again. This is hella disturbing. Extremely disturbing. That’s NOT normal. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2017, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/558 "2017-08-15T00:14:29Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > This is hella disturbing. Extremely disturbing. That’s NOT normal. Why? If you screw me over, I am going to hurt you back. I am a bigger fan of the Old Testament than the newer one. It is pretty simple. All you have to do is not intentionally fuck up and show up on time. That shouldn’t be a hard request but it is apparently. What people don’t understand is that all of life is a game and everyone dies at the end. Every second you waste on senseless bullshit is just a minor version of the death penalty. Our job is to have as much fun as possible in the rest of the time allotted because it isn’t going to last long. Of course I would hop in bed this instant with an attractive 40 year. I would also fly to Thailand a month from now if someone wanted to. What is stopping me? Nothing. You just have to get off your ass and do it. I am going to Colorado tomorrow with my daughters. That should be a great time but the problem I am running into is that they outclass the vast majority of fully grown people in spirit. I would much rather travel them than the vast majority of adults I know because they actually know what they are doing and know how to have a good time. They just came back from Costa Rica last night and are all set to turn the plane around and head west. It is really hard to find other adults that aren’t weighed down by so much baggage and hangups that they are tolerable to hang around. I am surprised that a lot of them can even show up to work consistently (some of them don’t and they get fired). I don’t think I am a perfect person either to make the understatement of the year but I am adventurous and actually try at life. When the ICU doctors told me I only had a few hours to live and my home town was holding a prayer vigil for me 8 years ago, I had to make a decision not to let that happen. I was determined not to die and the doctors were surprised when I greeted them the next morning. I was given a 2nd chance at life but it gave me a new perspective. It isn’t supposed to be tedious if you can help it. Enjoy everything you can while you are still able to and don’t dick around. I already lost two young coworkers this year in tragic accidents and the same thing could happen to any of us tomorrow. There is no point in not pursuing what you really want. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2017, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/559 "2017-08-15T00:28:51Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Why? If you screw me over, I am going to hurt you back. > > {_snip_} > > Every second you waste on senseless bullshit is just a minor version of the death penalty. Isn’t petty revenge pretty senseless? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2017, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/560 "2017-08-15T00:38:57Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > Why? If you screw me over, I am going to hurt you back. I am a bigger fan of the Old Testament than the newer one. It is pretty simple. All you have to do is not intentionally fuck up and show up on time. That shouldn’t be a hard request but it is apparently. > > What people don’t understand is that all of life is a game and everyone dies at the end. Every second you waste on senseless bullshit is just a minor version of the death penalty. Our job is to have as much fun as possible in the rest of the time allotted because it isn’t going to last long. Of course I would hop in bed this instant with an attractive 40 year. I would also fly to Thailand a month from now if someone wanted to. What is stopping me? Nothing. > > You just have to get off your ass and do it. I am going to Colorado tomorrow with my daughters. That should be a great time but the problem I am running into is that they outclass the vast majority of fully grown people in spirit. I would much rather travel them than the vast majority of adults I know because they actually know what they are doing and know how to have a good time. They just came back from Costa Rica last night and are all set to turn the plane around and head west. It is really hard to find other adults that aren’t weighed down by so much baggage and hangups that they are tolerable to hang around. I am surprised that a lot of them can even show up to work consistently (some of them don’t and they get fired). > > I don’t think I am a perfect person either to make the understatement of the year but I am adventurous and actually try at life. When the ICU doctors told me I only had a few hours to live and my home town was holding a prayer vigil for me 8 years ago, I had to make a decision not to let that happen. I was determined not to die and the doctors were surprised when I greeted them the next morning. I was given a 2nd chance at life but it gave me a new perspective. It isn’t supposed to be tedious if you can help it. Enjoy everything you can while you are still able to and don’t dick around. I already lost two young coworkers this year in tragic accidents and the same thing could happen to any of us tomorrow. There is no point in not pursuing what you really want. Seriously, you sound like an angsty teenager. And your NDE I fear has given you an exaggerated sense of entitlement. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2017, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623/561 "2017-08-15T00:39:18Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Isn’t petty revenge pretty senseless? Maybe, but not if it feels good and you don’t suffer any consequences. I am not in the habit of extracting revenge on people but sometimes it is appropriate and therapeutic. Most people consider “revenge” a taboo topic that sounds offensive on the surface but that is only because they lack personal introspection. Almost everyone has done some version of it at some point. I am more of a “live and let live” type of person but sometimes an asshole is just an asshole and I don’t think it is wrong to hurt them back when the opportunity strikes. The only problem is when they affect you emotionally and you let it eat at you. Other than that though, sure, take them out when you can. I don’t start things but I will finish them. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623.md?page=27) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-in-their-40s-or-above-how-do-you-stay-attracted-to-women-your-own-age/791623.md?page=29)