# Men: What constitutes "bad sex"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 9, 2006, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045 "2006-09-09T05:09:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/61 "2006-09-11T03:42:48Z")
[QUOTE=astro] For a man “bad sex” is if 1: the woman isn’t into it, but is just going through the motions 2: Doesn’t have clue what she’s doing 3: Is apprehensive or conflicted about something 4: The man finds her body a turnoff 5: His partner has bad hygiene 6: Is utterly passive/lazy, won’t initiate anything. and expects the man to make a huge Kabuki dance out of seducing her every time. [/QUOTE] Like others said, that about nails it. The bad sex experiences I’ve mostly fall into the #6 category; she expects the man to do all the work. Related to #4 is when there’s an “accessory turn-off” that is revealed at the last minute, such as bloomer-like granny panties or an excessive amount of public hair. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/62 "2006-09-11T04:12:21Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] Related to #4 is when there’s an “accessory turn-off” that is revealed at the last minute, such as bloomer-like granny panties or an excessive amount of public hair. [/QUOTE] 😕😕 Seriously? Smokin’ hot chick, begging and moaning and panting for you, rubbing up against your let, fondling her tits, gives you a mind-blowing BJ, and she whips of her skirt and she’s got big underwear or a full bush and that’s it? It makes the sex bad? Thats…rediculous. Like, totally absurd. Possibly the goofiest thing I’ve ever heard. I mean come on - I assume she’s gonna take off the panties. She could trim up the hair. Good lord man - you must have a lot of bad sex! ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/63 "2006-09-11T04:16:37Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] :eriously? Smokin’ hot chick, begging and moaning and panting for you, rubbing up against your let, fondling her tits, gives you a mind-blowing BJ, and she whips of her skirt and she’s got big underwear or a full bush and that’s it? It makes the sex bad? Thats…rediculous. Like, totally absurd. Possibly the goofiest thing I’ve ever heard. I mean come on - I assume she’s gonna take off the panties. She could trim up the hair. Good lord man - you must have a lot of bad sex! [/QUOTE] I couldn’t agree more. Ridiculous. What the hell is it with the pubic hair removal fetish these days? Don’t people dig on secondary sex characteristics anymore? Do y’all only want to date women with crotches like 11 year old girls? I mean, come ON, guys. You don’t shave or wax off your pubes, do ya? Well, do ya?!? Then why the hell should anyone else? ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/64 "2006-09-11T04:25:58Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] I couldn’t agree more. Ridiculous. What the hell is it with the pubic hair removal fetish these days? Don’t people dig on secondary sex characteristics anymore? Do y’all only want to date women with crotches like 11 year old girls? [/QUOTE] No, but when it’s up to the navel or the upper part of the inner thigh … ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/65 "2006-09-11T04:26:10Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] I couldn’t agree more. Ridiculous. What the hell is it with the pubic hair removal fetish these days? Don’t people dig on secondary sex characteristics anymore? Do y’all only want to date women with crotches like 11 year old girls? I mean, come ON, guys. You don’t shave or wax off your pubes, do ya? Well, do ya?!? Then why the hell should anyone else? [/QUOTE] Um…actually they do. Personally, I think they’re missing something when there’s nothing to trap nature’s pheromones (which subconsciously amp things up a few levels). I almost choked on **elmwood’s** last-minute turnoffs. If your sail loses wind over something that small, then the fault doesn’t lie in the panties or the pubes. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/66 "2006-09-11T04:33:34Z")
[QUOTE=wonderlust] I almost choked on **elmwood’s** last-minute turnoffs. If your sail loses wind over something that small, then the fault doesn’t lie in the panties or the pubes. [/QUOTE] I’ve reconsidered. I now find it a turn-on for a woman to have twice as much public hair as Rasputin. I apologize for offending anyone here. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/67 "2006-09-11T04:36:26Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] I’ve reconsidered. I now find it a turn-on for a woman to have twice as much public hair as Rasputin. I apologize for offending anyone here. :rolleyes: [/QUOTE] And facial hair to match! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/68 "2006-09-11T05:03:03Z")
[QUOTE=wonderlust] Um…actually they do. [/quote] Actually they do what? I miss the referent here. > [@](#): > > Personally, I think they’re missing something when there’s nothing to trap nature’s pheromones (which subconsciously amp things up a few levels). I think they secretly dig on little girls, but hey, to each his own, eh? > [@elmwood](#): > > I’ve reconsidered. I now find it a turn-on for a woman to have twice as much public hair as Rasputin. I apologize for offending anyone here. How do you know Rasputin didn’t wax? Huh? How much pubic hair (or “public hair” as you called it… which might be your problem right there) is “too much”? I mean, are we talking Jimi Hendrix/Angela Davis looking bush? Where do you draw the line (literally)? And do you trim down your Mr. Hendrix? Enquiring minds want to know. ---
**Author:** ![wonderlust](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonderlust/32/7237_2.png) [@wonderlust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonderlust)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/69 "2006-09-11T05:08:45Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] Actually they do what? I miss the referent here. [/QUOTE] Actually lots of men do shave their pubic hair. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/70 "2006-09-11T05:14:49Z")
[QUOTE=wonderlust] Actually lots of men do shave their pubic hair. [/QUOTE] Yeah, maybe once or twice in their lives. I have never been with a guy or seen a guy naked who had shaved pubes, and I ain’t exactly a babe in the woods. Yet I’ve heard from numerous men that they haven’t ever seen a woman WITH pubes, that a bald crotch is status quo these days. So that makes me wonder about there being a double standard here. If I said what **elmwood** said, that a man with a full set a of pubes was a non-starter sexually for meand would be send me out of the bed, I’d be looked at like this :eek: pretty universally. But a guy says it and it’s par for the course. What makes a woman’s pubes more unacceptible than men’s? I don’t get it. Sure, trim that thing down so it fits in your pants, but beyond that, what’s the big deal? ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/71 "2006-09-11T05:31:14Z")
[QUOTE=wonderlust] And facial hair to match! 😛 [/QUOTE] Which is why Gillette invented the Fusion (see other thread) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/72 "2006-09-11T05:34:25Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] Like others said, that about nails it. The bad sex experiences I’ve mostly fall into the #6 category; she expects the man to do all the work. Related to #4 is when there’s an “accessory turn-off” that is revealed at the last minute, such as bloomer-like granny panties or an excessive amount of public hair. [/QUOTE] Hey man lemme tell ya. With a throbbing boner on I can go thru’ solid steel never mind granny panties and pubes. Anyways I allus figured plenty of pubes is like eating shredded wheat…with salt on :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/73 "2006-09-11T05:34:28Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] No, but when it’s up to the navel or the upper part of the inner thigh … [/QUOTE] So are you OK with a regular amount of pubes? And, if you really liked the girl, would you be able to soldier through it, then talk to her about it? Or is it like, “OMG, I’m so outta here”? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/74 "2006-09-11T06:13:54Z")
When your partner is in a bad mood as it’s going on, that’s definitely bad. (My experience is that that includes impatience and just doesn’t go well.) When sex doesn’t “end” in the traditional sense, I’d say that’s worse than not having it at all because it’s well known that that can be painful for us. Below-average sex is still pretty good, I guess, but when it’s actually bad, it actually is bad. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/75 "2006-09-11T06:26:51Z")
A gay friend once described a bad sex experience of his: “we were at a basketball match and I hooked up with this guy in the bathroom. Turns out it was one of those guys who have to drag it as long as possible; the game had restarted and I was thinking ‘c’mon, man, this isn’t a contest, will you fucking finish?’” Or words to that effect. So in that case, bad sex is when you’d rather be watching the match 8) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/76 "2006-09-11T06:32:58Z")
I have a question: is “doesn’t have a clue what (s)he’s doing” the reason so many guys are freaked out by “I’m a virgin so please take it a bit easy”? because I swear, I sent so many guys running with that line, it oughta count as an anti-baby ---
**Author:** ![Chotii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@Chotii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chotii)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/77 "2006-09-11T07:35:07Z")
[QUOTE=Eleusis] I messed around with a chick for a few weeks, who couldn’t get off unless I. went. very. very. very. very. slow. So slow, in fact, that I would almost lose my hardon unless I moved a little. I refused, and she never got off. But I did. [/QUOTE] Actually this doesn’t surprise me. The best ‘speed’ for me is slow, so slow that my husband could never hope to get the kind of stim he needs for himself. When things are that slow, I can feel everything. The speed he needs, generally makes me feel numbed. (I don’t like vibrators either. At all.) The workaround of course is to do things in two stages: one for him, one for me. It doesn’t really matter who goes first, but simultaneous is extremely rare. The men on the foreskin restoration list say that as they have progressed through restoration, their need for ‘fast/hard/rough’ has tended to decrease, to get the same (or better) sensation. I wonder if intact men can go very. very. very. very slowly, and not only keep an erection, but have orgasms too? ---
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/78 "2006-09-11T10:21:07Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] “Hey hot daddy, there’s no way you’re putting that in my mouth. Buy me jewelry.” [/QUOTE] _pant_ What kind of jewelry? ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/79 "2006-09-11T12:38:37Z")
[QUOTE=Chefguy] When the sheep just stands there. [/QUOTE] That’s why you need to push them up against the edge of a cliff first. [QUOTE=tdn] “Faster! Harder! Deeper!” Faster? Sure, OK. Harder? I’ll do what I can. Deeper? 😕 [/QUOTE] Just turn the little hand crank built into the side of your hip.. [QUOTE=Rubystreak] Sure, trim that thing down so it fits in your pants, but beyond that, what’s the big deal? [/QUOTE] He didn’t say any, or normal pubic hair was an issue, but when it was “excessive”. I guess if you were giving oral and felt like you were wearing a wig it might be a bit odd. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/80 "2006-09-11T12:57:02Z")
My girlfriend’s never been bad in bed, but I have. Bad sex for me constitutes any time I’m too tired to finish off the job and leave both my girlfriend and I unsatisfied. In such cases I’d rather have just cuddled than built up to nothing like that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045.md?page=5)