# Men: What constitutes "bad sex"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 9, 2006, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045 "2006-09-09T05:09:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/101 "2006-09-11T19:22:06Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] I think the gross-out on women’s body hair is just as tiresome and offensive as you think my sentiments were. [/QUOTE] For the record, because I know you’re all dying to hear my opinion: I actually like underarm hair on women, but then again I don’t make a habit of licking their armpits. ---
**Author:** ![Chotii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@Chotii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chotii)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/102 "2006-09-11T19:26:51Z")
I tried the ‘clean shaven’ thing once. Ugh. I don’t like the look of my genitals at all, that way. To say I found my own appearance repulsive doesn’t quite encompass my reaction. That was not good for my self-image. I didn’t like having to use anti-itch cream, and a light oil, to reduce itch and re-create the dry-lubrication effect of the hairs that should have been there. Because you know, warm moist skin sticks to similar, and that was unpleasant, and it was constant. I did enjoy the extra sensation _during_ sex - in fact it was amazing, not having the hair there - but it didn’t balance out with the rest of the hour, and day, and week when it was nothing but irritating. And repulsive. So, for the women for whom it works, and their men who like it, good for them. If a man expected a woman to be “clean” for him despite the sorts of things I experienced, I hope she’d go find herself a new man. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/103 "2006-09-11T19:28:39Z")
[QUOTE=SenorBeef] He didn’t say any, or normal pubic hair was an issue, but when it was “excessive”. I guess if you were giving oral and felt like you were wearing a wig it might be a bit odd. [/QUOTE] Exactly. One of the most commonly used logical fallacies on the SDMB is the [false](http://www.nizkor.org/features/fallacies/false-dilemma.html) [dilemma](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_dichotomy), and I’m seeing it here in its full splendor; “If you don’t want women’s netherregions to be like that of Ms Sasquatch, then you must like them bald like a 10 year old girl. You sick pedo!” Seems like there’s no middle ground. I said “excessive” - like when it’s approaching the navel or spreading down along the inner thighs. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/104 "2006-09-11T19:40:03Z")
[QUOTE=elmwood] I said “excessive” - like when it’s approaching the navel or spreading down along the inner thighs. [/QUOTE] Having seen a pic like this on Rotten. com once, I can understand the aversion. However, other people seem to have suggested that any hair down there is nasty. That just seems a tad excessive. And you still haven’t clarified the “granny panties” comment - seriously, ugly undies are a deal breaker? ---
**Author:** ![Chotii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/71e660/32.png) [@Chotii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chotii)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/105 "2006-09-11T20:05:59Z")
So…out of curiosity, what _are_ women who are naturally hairy to do? Must we endure waxing, shaving, chemical depilatories on very thin sensitive skin, so not to offend? ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/106 "2006-09-11T20:06:38Z")
I think it’s probably got a lot to do with what people see in Porn. The number of, uh, participants without severe brush undercutting has got to be less than 2%. Not that I’ve officially researched it…just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/107 "2006-09-11T20:13:52Z")
[QUOTE=Chotii] So…out of curiosity, what _are_ women who are naturally hairy to do? Must we endure waxing, shaving, chemical depilatories on very thin sensitive skin, so not to offend? [/QUOTE] Keep it neatly trimmed. Kick anyone who says that’s not good enough to the curb, preferably with a steel-toed boot from a 20th story window. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/108 "2006-09-11T20:41:29Z")
[QUOTE=Chotii] So…out of curiosity, what _are_ women who are naturally hairy to do? Must we endure waxing, shaving, chemical depilatories on very thin sensitive skin, so not to offend? [/QUOTE] You could all come line up outside my door. Hairy women, yum. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/109 "2006-09-11T20:43:24Z")
**Elmwood** , it is true that you were unfairly jumped on, becauyse you didn’t say you wanted bald pussy. That was my bad, pinning it on you. However, as **alice** pointed out, there are plenty of guys who DO require the full shave. \*\*Chotii \*\* is right, not everyone can endure what it takes to get all the hair off. I know some women can just shave or wax there with no ill effects, but since we’re talking about a damp place with curly hairs, the ingrown hair can lead to the crotch equivalent of pseudofolliculitis barbae. Most emphatically NOT sexy for anyone. Trim, whatever, tame the wilderness, and that’s it. **Cervaise** , despite the fact that I do shave my armpits ('cause the feeling of caked on deodorant in pit hair squicks me), you are my hero for that last post. Good for you, man. May you get much good sex from hairy women. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/110 "2006-09-11T20:46:45Z")
[QUOTE=Rubystreak] I think it’s rude to expect a person to remove large quantities of body hair, regardless of who does it. If you want to shave or whatever, for yourself, that’s fine, but requiring it? Not cool. [/QUOTE] I never said it should be “required”, and I don’t remember anyone else saying that either. While I have _suggested_ shaving, I never _required_ it. It has never once been a deal-breaker for me. But if a woman did shave, I would be more inclined to stick with her. At the same time, if a woman were someone I really liked, and she thought I’d be sexier if I shaved, say, my back, then I’d do it. Or rather, let her do it for me. It’s not like I can reach. So do I still have some sort of chauvinistic double standard here? > [@](#): > > As for women being more selective than men, eh. I’ve seen more fugly guys with hot girls than hot guys with fugly girls. Women seem to tolerate a much greater range of appearances in men, but now we’re getting to the realm of opinions and I’m not sure we’re going to change each other’s minds on this. Probably not. But I’ve never known of a guy to reject a woman based on how much money she makes, or what she drives, or whether she wears white after Labor Day, or – trust me, many women reject men for reasons that men think are very odd. And yes, sometimes looks are part of it. Anecdote I: I love my GF, in no small part because she has such an open mind. But she once met one guy for a blind date. He drove up in a Lexus. She made up her mind right there that he was not right for her. They had a nice date, but she had already made up her mind in advance. Anecdote II: I was once a member of this silly dating service. Each member had a picture and a profile. The point being that you look at the picture and read the profile, then decide if you want to express interest in this person. I found it much more commen to observe women flipping through the books looking only at the pictures. Men tended to at least give a cursory glance at the profiles. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/111 "2006-09-11T21:45:25Z")
[QUOTE=Chotii] So…out of curiosity, what _are_ women who are naturally hairy to do? Must we endure waxing, shaving, chemical depilatories on very thin sensitive skin, so not to offend? [/QUOTE] Nope - find a guy who doesn’t care. They do still exist, in spite of what the internet and porn would have us believe. I don’t think we should hijack this thread into who is more superficial - men or women. We could argue on that for days and end up at the same point as we started. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/112 "2006-09-11T22:37:13Z")
[QUOTE=Raguleader] If something falls off. [/QUOTE] Like a leg? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/113 "2006-09-11T22:43:38Z")
[QUOTE=Troy McClure SF] Like a leg? [/QUOTE] I totally saw that movie! ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/114 "2006-09-11T22:53:57Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] I totally saw that movie! [/QUOTE] It’s a reference (my guess) to the infamous “funniest things said during sex” thread that was just referenced in another thread just recently… “Is that a LEG?!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/115 "2006-09-11T23:14:20Z")
[QUOTE=WordMan] It’s a reference (my guess) to the infamous “funniest things said during sex” thread that was just referenced in another thread just recently… “Is that a LEG?!” 😃 [/QUOTE] [Yep](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24960). (Didn’t think I had it bookmarked.) ---
**Author:** ![samm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@samm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samm)\ **Post date:** [September 11, 2006, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/116 "2006-09-11T23:38:18Z")
Um, hello. I am one of the girls who just lays there. I mean, not totally motionless or expressionless or silent, but there’s just not much to do when you are pinned under the guy in missionary position. And I love that position. It is my favorite. I love having my big sweaty boyfriend panting away on top of me. Other positions are okay and I will do it at his request but then I have to start overthinking everything. “What am I doing?” “What _should_ I be doing?” “How is he liking it?” “I feel awkward and clumsy.” etc. etc. and then I can rarely come. But when I am lying on my back with nothing to do and nothing to think about except how good it feels, I come 99% of the time. So which is worse: a lazy girl who comes easily or an enthusiastic girl who can’t come? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![fisha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/da6949/32.png) [@fisha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fisha)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/117 "2006-09-12T00:01:53Z")
“So which is worse: a lazy girl who comes easily or an enthusiastic girl who can’t come?” You’re asking _men_ this question? \ ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/118 "2006-09-12T00:03:42Z")
[QUOTE=samm] Um, hello. I am one of the girls who just lays there. I mean, not totally motionless or expressionless or silent, but there’s just not much to do when you are pinned under the guy in missionary position. [/quote] How about moving your legs? Hiking your legs up, hooking your arms around your knees, stuff like that? Changing the angle of your butt this way can be very exciting for everyone. > [@](#): > > “What am I doing?” “What _should_ I be doing?” “How is he liking it?” “I feel awkward and clumsy.” etc. etc. and then I can rarely come. But when I am lying on my back with nothing to do and nothing to think about except how good it feels, I come 99% of the time. So which is worse: a lazy girl who comes easily or an enthusiastic girl who can’t come? 😛 If you can get off that way, Godspeed. I can’t imagine just laying there. What to do comes naturally. I guess if I was confused or worried about it, it would stop me from getting off too. ---
**Author:** ![SlowMindThinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@SlowMindThinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlowMindThinking)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/119 "2006-09-12T00:08:42Z")
[QUOTE=Unintentionally Blank] I think it’s probably got a lot to do with what people see in Porn. The number of, uh, participants without severe brush undercutting has got to be less than 2%. Not that I’ve officially researched it…just sayin’. [/QUOTE] Being somewhat older than Ruby, I’ve got to agree with this. Before porn was quite so readily available, and acceptable, women seemed to shave so nothing stuck out around a bikini. Then Penthouse started showing, um, displayed crotches, and Hustler came out, and hair started getting more and more trimmed. Finally with the internet, full frontal baldity. I think it is just because you can see it better. And, of course, all these kids are getting imprinted on the bald look. Me, I’ve been married, or effectively married, for 24 years. I’m unlikely to get to experiment much. Ruby, I’ll tell you what. Let me look, and I’ll tell you if you’re too hairy. For me, #1 and #6 are about it. I can’t see how bad breath makes bad sex. Why would you even start with someone with bad breath? (I can see how other stinky parts might surprise you, but geezus…) Samm, you can be on the bottom and still move. It is Mrs. Slow’s favorite, also, and I’m more than a foot taller than she is, but her hands, arms and pelvis can still move. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2006, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045/120 "2006-09-12T00:14:23Z")
[QUOTE=SlowMindThinking] Ruby, I’ll tell you what. Let me look, and I’ll tell you if you’re too hairy. [/QUOTE] Heh. Never gotten any complaints, but maybe it’s because I don’t seek out men who would care about that. I’m pretty decorous. It’s the principle of the thing. What’s wrong with a Lexus anyway? I feel like I’m missing something here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-what-constitutes-bad-sex/372045.md?page=7)