# Men: What's your penis, (and other penises for that matter), to you? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 27, 2010, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634 "2010-01-27T06:48:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/21 "2010-01-28T17:55:02Z")
I’m gonna second the song linked to in post 15. **Knead** Hooray for my one-eyed trouser snake ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/22 "2010-01-29T04:00:27Z")
We have an agreement, my penis and I. I agree to follow where he leads and he agrees to stand tall and proud when I need him. Though straight, I find the variety in penises fascinating. I consider my own penis to be highly aesthetically pleasing and wish I could show it off more often. It most certainly is NOT ‘just another body part’. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/23 "2010-01-29T04:14:39Z")
My only gripe with my penis is the utter lack of discretion it tends to exhibit. Other than that, I’ve got nothing but great things to say about the little fellow. He stands at attention when it’s time for action… at least the vast majority of the time, sometimes he seems to need a slight nudge to wake up. But hey, can’t blame the guy for sleeping on the job, when he puts in so much overtime, working when he’s not needed. What I find particularly fascinating is how the three stooges get in the way so very often, and yet I can’t imagine how anyone walks around without them. Don’t get me wrong – I’m quite pleased that 50% of the population does, but I simply cannot understand the ability to move comfortable without… _something_ there. Like a dog without a tail, I think I’d just fall over without it. ---
**Author:** ![groo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecd19e/32.png) [@groo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groo)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/24 "2010-01-29T15:42:48Z")
> [@toofs](#): > > What am I to my penis? Cab driver. And it’s not too happy that you’re taking your time getting to the destination. Mine: Betrayer. When I was younger and embarrassed about my sexual urges, it would frequently stand up and say, “Hey! Everybody! Look here!” Now, when I want it to come out and play, it often just sits there, giving off an attitude of, “Oh, so NOW it’s okay? Maybe I just don’t feel like it today!” We argue, but generally don’t go to bed angry. ---
**Author:** ![InterestedObserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@InterestedObserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InterestedObserver)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/25 "2010-01-29T22:29:00Z")
“I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.” 😕 (credit, Seinfeld) (But as a heterosexual female, I’m glad you do. :D) ETA, sorry to intrude…slinking away now. ---
**Author:** ![palacheck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e57/32.png) [@palacheck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palacheck)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/26 "2010-01-29T22:54:28Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Truly! > > I would have thought almost all the responses would be something like, “On me, it’s a body part. On another guy, it’s another guy’s body part. Duh.” I would never have suspected the close personal relationships described here. I’ve got to ask my husband about this. > > Carry on! Why? I don’t find it at all surprising. I’m more used to women praising their genitals simply because I’m a straight male, but this doesn’t surprise me a bit. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/27 "2010-01-29T23:09:10Z")
> [@InterestedObserver](#): > > “I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.” 😕 (credit, Seinfeld) Sometimes it’s not easy, especially for teenagers. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2010, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/28 "2010-01-30T03:35:29Z")
> [@InterestedObserver](#): > > “I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.” 😕 (credit, Seinfeld) > > (But as a heterosexual female, I’m glad you do. :D) > > ETA, sorry to intrude…slinking away now. Post + Username… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/29 "2010-02-03T00:58:20Z")
WTF ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/30 "2010-02-03T01:06:00Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > WTF Post + Username = 😃#2! ---
**Author:** ![Allthegood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@Allthegood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Allthegood)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/31 "2010-09-16T18:06:23Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > My own: I can’t really relate to anyone going all ga-ga with lust over it, you know? I just can’t see it as sexual. Leave that to the women who are privileged to bed you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/32 "2010-09-16T18:18:30Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > > [@faithfool](#): > > > > This is fascinating. > > > > \< subscribes to thread \> > > Truly! > > I would have thought almost all the responses would be something like, “On me, it’s a body part. On another guy, it’s another guy’s body part. Duh.” I would never have suspected the close personal relationships described here. I’ve got to ask my husband about this. > > Carry on! Yes, some sound like they’re describing something more like a pet than a part of their own body. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/33 "2010-09-16T18:50:14Z")
Coito ergo sum ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/34 "2010-09-16T19:12:57Z")
My penis has its own moods. Some days it looks sad and unimpressive, and I have to give it a little slap and a stern talking-to: “C’mon penis, what’s the deal here? This is unacceptable.” Other days it hangs confidently and majestically: “Looking good, penis; looking damn good.” Occasionally, it’s even naughty and mischievous: “Really, penis? You’re just going to let a stream of pee squirt out sideways onto the floor?” My penis is also quite utilitarian. It’s a source of security, like a child’s blanket, and it’s my most effective hand warmer. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/35 "2010-09-16T20:22:10Z")
> [@AHunter3](#): > > My own: I can’t really relate to anyone going all ga-ga with lust over it, you know? I just can’t see it as sexual. Sorry I missed this the first time around. If you can’t see any penis as sexual, not even your own, this indicates that you (probably) are not gay . . . though there are exceptions. We spend half our lives focused on our own penis, or our partner’s, or both. It’s sort of like straight guys and breasts. Even if you actually had them, you’d still be attracted to them on others. Even though my partner and I both have penises, they are totally different from each other, and serve very different purposes sexually. I’m attracted to his penis (\*\*\*everyone \*\*\*is attracted to my partner’s penis), but never want it inside any part of me. And he likes it that way. Mine . . . which is less spectacular than his . . . gets to be the center of attention. And we both like it that way. As far as other guys’ penises are concerned . . . I can get turned on by a penis only if I’m turned on by the guy behind it. And OMFG!!! Now I find myself thinking about AHunter3’s penis!!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/36 "2010-09-16T21:23:19Z")
My penis won a lifetime achievement award and promptly retired. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/37 "2010-09-17T01:32:59Z")
It’smightierthanthesword! (Whatis?) Thepenis. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2010, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/38 "2010-09-17T01:46:20Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Coito ergo sum _golf clap_ As for me, that prick gets me into so much trouble its a wonder we’re still friends… ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2010, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/39 "2010-09-17T07:03:38Z")
I am not, generally speaking, a vain man, and with good reason. But my cock is fucking gorgeous. ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2010, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634/40 "2010-09-17T07:26:04Z")
I like the way it gets hard while I’m sleeping and keeps me from falling out of bed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-whats-your-penis-and-other-penises-for-that-matter-to-you/526634.md?page=3)