# Men who AREN'T stimulated visually **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 15, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864 "2004-11-15T15:37:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864/1 "2004-11-15T15:37:06Z")
The old saw is that men get sexually excited by looking at pictures and women get excited by words or ideas. However, I know women who are stimulated visually, so the converse must hold true. Are there any men who are not sexually interested by pictures of naked women/men? Are there any men who really _do_ read Playboy? For those that get more excited sexually by words or ideas, what turns you on the most? I’m not talking about stories from literotica or bodice-rippers, I’m talking about what turns you on when you actually have sex with someone. What kinds of “ideas” turn you on, if it’s not just the sight of your partner’s body? (Keep it vague, people!) And if the women want to chime in, please do. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864/2 "2004-11-15T15:46:01Z")
IME, women are at least as stimulated by touch and feel as they are by words or ideas. ---
**Author:** ![badmana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@badmana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badmana)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864/3 "2004-11-15T16:12:02Z")
Why do you mention Playboy and then restrict the use of literotica? I always thought they were the same. Playboy type stories can turn me on. But then again, my GF brushing up against me by accident also turns me on so I’m not a reliable person for this type of poll 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864/4 "2004-11-15T16:30:20Z")
I really do read Playboy for the articles. I also like Penthouse Letters for written erotica. However, I still need old fashioned pictures and movies too and would take those over other forms. It is a pretty interesting question. I have never heard of a male that didn’t go for visual erotic stimuli. Look at the hundreds of thousands of male oriented websites out there. ---
**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864/5 "2004-11-15T16:46:32Z")
Well, it depends. I geniunely don’t like porn; I find that something about the falsehood of the entire depicted scenario just turns me off completely. Besides, women who are trying overly hard to look sexy often end up looking like drugged-out sluts. Who knows; maybe drugged-out sluts are supposed to be sexy. Me, I prefer, you know, real women. That isn’t to say that I don’t enjoy looking at a picture of a beautiful woman…I just prefer a more natural setting and a relaxed environment. If it’s obvious that the picture was set up to inspire sexual thoughts, it just kinda creeps me out. I am _much_ more likely to get turned on by having an excellent conversation with a mildly attractive girl whom I know well than by looking at a drop-dead gorgeous girl I’ve never met. In that sense, I am more easily stimulated intellectually than physically. This has, somewhat paradoxically to my way of thinking, done little to endear me romantically to most of the women I encounter (and indeed much the opposite); my primary interest in someone (male _or_ female) is primarily intellectual rather than physical, and women (based on every piece of candid advice I’ve ever received) generally like men to “noticeably notice” their appearance early on. Of course, this is in direct contradiction to what 99% of heterosexual femaledom claims to be looking for…but I went there in a previous thread and got blasted for it, so I’ll not go further. Suffice it to say that, yes, there are men out there who are less easily stimulated visually than in other manners. Most of those men, however, are likely to be nearly as bizzare as me. And that, in and of itself, ought to tell you something. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864/6 "2004-11-15T17:09:01Z")
> [@Elysian](#): > > The old saw is that men get sexually excited by looking at pictures and women get excited by words or ideas. However, I know women who are stimulated visually, so the converse must hold true. > > Are there any men who are not sexually interested by pictures of naked women/men? I don’t think it’s necessarily an “either/or” situation: I would think it very rare for someone to be turned on by _only_ images or _only_ words. ( **Roland Orzabal** being a noted exception . . . but we already know that he’s a bit, um, _different_. 😉 ) I’m a female who responds to both images and words: in the case of a house fire I would save my erotica before my porn, but I would be kinda sad about the porn. What tends to “ruin” images for me is too much camera awareness: I’m okay with everything being staged, but when someone spends too much time looking at the camera it bugs me. One of the most ridiculous pictures I ever saw was of a couple going at it, and the guy had an appropriate “yeah, take it all, beeyotch” look on his face but the woman was looking back, right at the camera, with this huge, cheesy, cheerleader smile. :rolleyes: I definitely have a voyeuristic streak, though, so that’s probably why stuff like that bothers me. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864/7 "2004-11-15T17:09:43Z")
Like most guys my age, it doesn’t take much to get me aroused. Although I am a very visual person, just a thought, idea, or suggestion can turn me on in an instant. As can a woman’s voice or the smell of something I consider feminine. Written porn does very little for me though. ---
**Author:** ![Pablito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864/8 "2004-11-15T19:01:23Z")
I looove all kinds of pictures of beautiful women, whether fully clothed or close ups of delicate parts. But the visual stimuli only gets me to thinking about sex and doesn’t lead to arousal. Erotic stories, on the other hand, work much more directly for me and produce a very pronounced physical response. So count me among the minority of guys who respond more to words. ---
**Author:** ![bughunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aeb1de/32.png) [@bughunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bughunter)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864/9 "2004-11-16T00:20:09Z")
> [@Elysian](#): > > Are there any men who are not sexually interested by pictures of naked women/men? Well, I think the list of blind men would probably account for the vast majority of men who meet the criterion of your question. Behavioral psych teaches that the male is evolved to respond to visual cues of fertility in females… and that the specific cues are strongly influenced culturally or socially. ---
**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864/10 "2004-11-16T00:43:14Z")
> [@Elysian](#): > > What kinds of “ideas” turn you on, if it’s not just the sight of your partner’s body? If its an idea, then its probably something I’ve read. However, I’ll usually imagine it visually to get myself turned on. ---
**Author:** ![professor\_folk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/df788c/32.png) [@professor\_folk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/professor_folk)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864/11 "2004-11-16T01:26:15Z")
Generally, I don’t like Playboy for the photos. I do like erotic pictures, porn, etc. I do like Playboy for the articles, but their airbrushed, valuptuous models don’t do it for me. Maybe FREE hardcore internet pornography have taken away the interest in the typically vanilla Playboy spreads. I’ve found that the internet has changed a lot of what my friends enjoy seeing in porn. Typical nude shots don’t seem to do it for a lot of people anymore…considering the minutiae that your porn interests can be broken down to, basic breast shots make some people yawn now. ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864/12 "2004-11-16T09:03:26Z")
Straight guy here. Visual stuff doesn’t really do much for me, except in a purely mecnanical, “drop my load” sense. I much prefer written stuff - although it has to be well written, and not start “I am a co-ed at a small Mid-Western college. I never thought this would happen to me, but…”: writing is really when the imagination can go into play. ---
**Author:** ![Phantom\_Dennis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/51bf81/32.png) [@Phantom\_Dennis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phantom_Dennis)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2004, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-who-arent-stimulated-visually/274864/13 "2004-11-16T11:10:25Z")
I’m a straight male in my mid 20s. I fall pretty squarely in the “visually stimulated” category, although I find a lot of internet pornography too revealing for my tastes (if I wanted gynecological detail, I’d get an anatomy book). Actually, a photograph of an attractive woman in lingerie or a swimsuit is quite enough to turn me on. Nudity is great too, but not strictly necessary. Written erotica composed by others doesn’t do much for me, but I went through a phase a few years ago when I experimented with writing my own erotic short stories (usually involving lesbians “discovering” their sexuality). I’d be the first to admit that the stories were pretty cheesy, but I found the process of writing them quite arousing. So visual stimulation is by no means the only way to float my boat. 🙂