# Men: Why are you paying for the date? Women: Why do you accept it? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2017, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668 "2017-07-19T18:43:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2017, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/41 "2017-07-20T13:47:16Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > To broaden the conversation a bit, there is also sometimes a sort of competition among men as to who can pay the bill. And the sociology of it is that the person paying the bill is the social superior, the person who accepts the gift of a meal is the social inferior. So that guy you just met at the sportsball game who wants to pay the bill for your casual meal? He’s trying to establish himself as a big shot. > > So…when my wife and I visited with her parents, her dad would pay the bill. And that was fine with me, because I was fine accepting that social role. And, you know, they had quite a bit of money and we were just keeping the bills paid. > > But when out with my mom and her husband? I didn’t like having him pay the bills, because I didn’t like that patron-client relationship coming from him. Nothing wrong with him, but he’s my mom’s husband, not my step-father, if you see what I mean. > > So anyway, when the man pays on a date with a woman, that puts him in the patron position and her in the client position. Nothing wrong with that, if that’s what you’re into. I don’t judge your alternative lifestyle. Yup, that’s an important observation. But there is also another angle. I have a few “acquaintances” who always insist on paying when we’re out in a group. I let them, and consider them to be chumps. As in… no would want you here if you weren’t paying for all of us. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2017, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/42 "2017-07-20T15:01:00Z")
> [@Wakinyan](#): > > There are two grown ups at the table, with jobs and money in their wallet (for the sake of the discussion), who are having a good time together. They can have sex, be polite to each other (being a gentleman) and try make the other feel good in every way. But if I on the first meeting treat you as a person who are unable to pay for the meal… that would make me feel as if I was insulting you. “Since you are a woman [reaching for the wallet]…” > > How do you accept that, as a woman? Or do you? ``` I have always viewed the man paying for dates as the just price he pays for all the effort (weight maintenance, uncomfortable clothing, make-up, hair styling, etc.) women have to go through to meet conventional standards of beauty. Back when I was looking for a partner, the few men that suggested splitting checks at dinner were immediately left at the restaurant. If I want to pay for my own meal I'll get take-out and enjoy it alone reading or watching television. ``` ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2017, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/43 "2017-07-20T15:23:32Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Same reason that they pay for a prostitute. To go away afterwards? ---
**Author:** ![Orwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/dfb087/32.png) [@Orwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orwell)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2017, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/44 "2017-07-20T16:31:12Z")
> [@Grrr](#): > > And even if we did have comparable job titles. Statistics say, she’s making 76 cents on every dollar that I make. Yes, that’s sexists, but that’s not my doing. If I had my say, women would be making the same as I am. Do you really believe this? That women who hold the same jobs make 76 percent of what men make with the same jobs? Where is this true? Studies show that the real difference (if you hold age, experience, education, overtime and other factors constant) is probably just a few percent, which I chalk up to a difference in willingness and ability to negotiate pay and raises. Sorry, I know this is a tangent to the thread, but nobody directly challenged this absurd notion. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2017, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/45 "2017-07-20T17:18:11Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Yup, that’s an important observation. But there is also another angle. I have a few “acquaintances” who always insist on paying when we’re out in a group. I let them, and consider them to be chumps. As in… no would want you here if you weren’t paying for all of us. I too like to use people for their money. ---
**Author:** ![stillownedbysetters](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/41988e/32.png) [@stillownedbysetters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stillownedbysetters)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2017, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/46 "2017-07-20T17:36:22Z")
> [@Orwell](#): > > Do you really believe this? That women who hold the same jobs make 76 percent of what men make with the same jobs? Where is this true? > > Studies show that the real difference (if you hold age, experience, education, overtime and other factors constant) is probably just a few percent, which I chalk up to a difference in willingness and ability to negotiate pay and raises. > > Sorry, I know this is a tangent to the thread, but nobody directly challenged this absurd notion. Here is some data for you. [http://https://iwpr.org/issue/employment-education-economic-change/pay-equity-discrimination/](http://https://iwpr.org/issue/employment-education-economic-change/pay-equity-discrimination/) ---
**Author:** ![Orwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/dfb087/32.png) [@Orwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orwell)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2017, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/47 "2017-07-20T18:18:45Z")
> [@stillownedbysetters](#): > > Here is some data for you. > > [http://https://iwpr.org/issue/employment-education-economic-change/pay-equity-discrimination/](http://https://iwpr.org/issue/employment-education-economic-change/pay-equity-discrimination/) That link wouldn’t open for me, but here are some for you: [https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/07/paygap-discrimination/492965/](https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2016/07/paygap-discrimination/492965/) 5% gap [https://www.glassdoor.com/blog/5-things-wrong-gender-wage-gap/](https://www.glassdoor.com/blog/5-things-wrong-gender-wage-gap/) 5% gap [http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christina-hoff-sommers/wage-gap\_b\_2073804.html](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christina-hoff-sommers/wage-gap_b_2073804.html) 5-7% gap [http://www.dollarsandsense.org/archives/2016/0916miller.html](http://www.dollarsandsense.org/archives/2016/0916miller.html) 3% gap Putting studies aside, what business wouldn’t hire the female job applicant rather than the male one if they could pay 20-something percent less? And also, back to my question: can anyone show me a companyor employer who pays women less than men for the same job, given the same background, experience, etc.? It certainly doesn’t happen in the government, or in union jobs, and those make up a significant segment of all employment. The whole idea is silly. Almost all of the so-called gap is explainable based on the types of jobs, schedules, hours and other factors that the misleading 75 to 79 percent bullshit glosses over. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2017, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/48 "2017-07-20T19:14:02Z")
I pay for the meal as a petty show of control, the same way I insist on paying at least my share of any group meal - Lest anyone believe I can’t pay my way or assume I owe them something. I get away with always having my way on this point because I’m a man. When women start insisting on the same feeling of control there will probably be scuffles at Appleby’s. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2017, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/49 "2017-07-20T19:20:45Z")
> [@Orwell](#): > > And also, back to my question: can anyone show me a companyor employer who pays women less than men for the same job, given the same background, experience, etc.? I doubt you are genuinely [interested](http://www.outtengolden.com/sites/default/files/pay-and-promotion-equity.pdf) in [this](http://www.mercurynews.com/2017/01/18/oracle-paid-white-men-more-than-women-blacks-asians-labor-department-lawsuit/) [information](http://www.lexology.com/library/detail.aspx?g=bce665a5-b940-48b7-bf6e-1ef447f8d9e1), [but](https://www.forbes.com/2004/06/23/cx_da_0623topnews.html) [sure](http://www.latimes.com/local/abcarian/la-me-abcarian-discrimination-settlement-20160624-snap-story.html). ---
**Author:** ![Orwell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/dfb087/32.png) [@Orwell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orwell)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2017, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/50 "2017-07-20T19:35:50Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I doubt you are genuinely [interested](http://www.outtengolden.com/sites/default/files/pay-and-promotion-equity.pdf) in [this](http://www.mercurynews.com/2017/01/18/oracle-paid-white-men-more-than-women-blacks-asians-labor-department-lawsuit/) [information](http://www.lexology.com/library/detail.aspx?g=bce665a5-b940-48b7-bf6e-1ef447f8d9e1), [but](https://www.forbes.com/2004/06/23/cx_da_0623topnews.html) [sure](http://www.latimes.com/local/abcarian/la-me-abcarian-discrimination-settlement-20160624-snap-story.html). No, I am genuinely interested. And where specific, pertinent evidence can be identified, more power to whoever can win these lawsuits. It looks like a couple of your links appeared to show cases with merit. But I am going to decline to keep posting about this offshoot of the main topic of this thread. In that regard, I don’t disagree that men routinely paying for dates is largely outdated given modern workforce and earning characteristics. But it’s tradition, and traditions take a long time to evolve. With first/early dates in particular, I think most men and women are comfortable with the tradition. Later on, yeah, all of the dating financial burden shouldn’t fall on the man. ---
**Author:** ![MareIt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@MareIt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MareIt)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/51 "2017-07-21T00:13:52Z")
I always offer to split the tab. If that fails, I offer to cover the tip. If that fails, I say thank you and move on. I invited a guy out for our 3rd date, I went to pay since a)I invited and b)he had paid for the first 2, and he was visibly uncomfortable when I took the check off the table and pulled out my wallet. I jokingly gave him a hard time about gender norms since he was otherwise not an ‘old fashioned’ guy, and let him leave the tip. I have one male friend that I meet for dinner about once a quarter or so. He always pays. I don’t even offer anymore. When I meet my female friends out, sometimes I treat, sometimes they treat, sometimes we split the bill. ---
**Author:** ![Allthegood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@Allthegood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Allthegood)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/52 "2017-07-21T17:11:43Z")
American female here. I have paid my share of dating expenses, whether paying half the check on a first date or alternating paying for dates in an ongoing relationship, all my life. The only exceptions have been when my financial situation did not permit – and then I’ve usually said so up front before accepting an invitation – or when, on a first date, the man INSISTED on paying, in which case, unless he agreed to let me pay next time, his chances of a second date with me were considerably diminished. I have heard many women say the man should pay because “he’s the man,” which boggles my mind. Women often make less money than men do (in which case maybe they should pay proportionally less), but women who insist that men should always pay make my jaw drop. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/53 "2017-07-21T20:35:01Z")
If a man asked me out I figure he’s paying. If I asked a man out I’d be doing the paying. to me it wouldn’t be about the gender, but who did the asking. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/54 "2017-07-21T21:02:52Z")
> [@Allthegood](#): > > American female here. > > I have paid my share of dating expenses, whether paying half the check on a first date or alternating paying for dates in an ongoing relationship, all my life. The only exceptions have been when my financial situation did not permit – and then I’ve usually said so up front before accepting an invitation – or when, on a first date, the man INSISTED on paying, in which case, unless he agreed to let me pay next time, his chances of a second date with me were considerably diminished. > > I have heard many women say the man should pay because “he’s the man,” which boggles my mind. Women often make less money than men do (in which case maybe they should pay proportionally less), but women who insist that men should always pay make my jaw drop. I wish we wouldn’t bring up the topic of date grape into this. ---
**Author:** ![Wakinyan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wakinyan/32/352_2.png) [@Wakinyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wakinyan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/55 "2017-07-21T21:09:13Z")
> [@Mangosteen](#): > > Back when I was dating, I not only paid for the date but I also arrived on time to pick her up. And made sure I (along with my clothes) were neat and clean. If she was living with her parents, I made sure to introduce myself to her dad and made sure to have a compliment ready for her mom. (I learned that from Eddie Haskell.) I opened the car door for her and held her hand while she sat down on the seat. I asked for a table at the restaurant so I could move the chair out for her and gently moved it back so she was comfortably seated. The dinner conversation was all about her. Etc., etc., etc… > > Why was I doing all this? I sincerely believed it greatly enhanced my chances of getting “lucky” later in the evening. It wasn’t really costing me anything, so why not? The girls certainly didn’t seem to mind and you’ll never convince me that it didn’t help when we were alone later. I think this is splendid, sincerely, assuming she did not have any money of her own. – But if she was a grown up with her own career going, wouldn’t that be super anachronistic? > [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > [snip] Spending money on his partner (by paying for dates, buying gifts, etc.) is how men demonstrate this to potential partners. But isn’t that stupid 2017, when women do not need a man to provide for her, and thus isn’t it really insulting to the woman, as if she was unable to have an income of her own, as if you need to “provide”? > [@John\_Mace](#): > > Yup, that’s an important observation. But there is also another angle. I have a few “acquaintances” who always insist on paying when we’re out in a group. I let them, and consider them to be chumps. As in… no would want you here if you weren’t paying for all of us. Thanks for chiming in, but I would like to take this opportunity stress that the question is regarding the habit of men paying the bills because they are men, and women accepting this because they are women (as a standard procedure), even though both are able to pay their own bills; as if the woman needed help to pay for the meal because she is a woman. The shag man says specifically that he dates high earning people, but yet pays for them, as if they were people who needs someone to provide for them. > [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > I have always viewed the man paying for dates as the just price he pays for all the effort (weight maintenance, uncomfortable clothing, make-up, hair styling, etc.) women have to go through to meet conventional standards of beauty. [snip] So you’re saying that the person who put in least effort to the date gets to pick up the tab? Is this something you’re discussing with you date after the last drink? Hopefully it is not a guy from Poison. ---
**Author:** ![Wakinyan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wakinyan/32/352_2.png) [@Wakinyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wakinyan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/56 "2017-07-21T21:39:38Z")
> [@MareIt](#): > > I always offer to split the tab. If that fails, I offer to cover the tip. If that fails, I say thank you and move on. I invited a guy out for our 3rd date, I went to pay since a)I invited and b)he had paid for the first 2, and he was visibly uncomfortable when I took the check off the table and pulled out my wallet. I jokingly gave him a hard time about gender norms since he was otherwise not an ‘old fashioned’ guy, and let him leave the tip. I have one male friend that I meet for dinner about once a quarter or so. He always pays. I don’t even offer anymore. When I meet my female friends out, sometimes I treat, sometimes they treat, sometimes we split the bill. Yes, and once again, I feel this is “default behaviour” (sorry if I sound crude, English is not my first language). From what I’m reading, you’re not expecting a man to pay the bill because he is a man. But yet I understand (and have experienced many times) the embarrassment of the first fellow because there are certain expectations you “should” fulfill as a man, and when you are unable to, well… it is uncomfortable. But as a contemporary woman if nothing else you perhaps do not feel he has to (in regards to picking up the tap at least), because it is a question of income and generosity, not character, or gender. I’s all good, we’re all grown ups, equals as persons, and so on, and if the who’s picking up the bill question is depended on the gender of the people involved, I honestly find it super weird. ---
**Author:** ![Wakinyan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wakinyan/32/352_2.png) [@Wakinyan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wakinyan)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/57 "2017-07-21T22:04:00Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > If a man asked me out I figure he’s paying. If I asked a man out I’d be doing the paying. > > to me it wouldn’t be about the gender, but who did the asking. I don’t get this. Is it actually so? If you meet a guy at the parking lot and you discuss the weather and he or she says, hey, lets have a burger on Tuesday – do you really expect that person to pay for your burger you’re having on Tuesday? If you have an unsuspected telephone call from a person who eventually says, “Hey, baby, you sound like a ball. Let’s have steak Saturday.” Do you leave your credit card at home? – And what, if so, do you do if Deep Thoat says “no” when the waiter asks if you’ll share the tab? Screaming and waiving your hands, “I wasn’t the one who asked for this, I wasn’t the one who asked for this!” You bring you own money to the game and pay for it, boy or a girl. All else, I think we all are agree, is dumb. Or do we not agree (which is the “original” question)? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/58 "2017-07-21T22:11:52Z")
Full disclosure: I haven’t been out on a date since 2001. It doesn’t bother me if a man wants to pay or if he wants to split the bill. I would always offer to pay and take his lead. I see this tradition as a remaining vestige of archaic sexism but not inherently damaging assuming it’s stays relegated to silly little ritual status. I feel the same way about, say, a man pulling out a chair for his date. It’s cute. I’ll play. I’ll even wear a dress and giggle if it helps him feel all manly. I can get into that. But I basically see it as a role-playing game, not an accurate portrayal of relationships or reality. Once the relationship progresses beyond that stage of giddy playacting, I’m going to want things on more egalitarian terms. Practically speaking, the person with the most money is the one who usually ends up paying. My husband paid for most everything when we started dating, because we were 19, I was broke as shit, and his grandparents sent him money for school. I don’t think it had to do with his gender. Things evened out once he graduated and got off the gravy train. If I were to start a new relationship now, at 34 years old, I’d be fine with whatever arrangement mattered most to him. I truly don’t care. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/59 "2017-07-21T22:42:21Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > I wish we wouldn’t bring up the topic of date grape into this. Warning: Post contains violet images which may be disturbing to some viewers. > [@Wakinyan](#): > > I don’t get this. Is it actually so? If you meet a guy at the parking lot and you discuss the weather and he or she says, hey, lets have a burger on Tuesday – do you really expect that person to pay for your burger you’re having on Tuesday? > > If you have an unsuspected telephone call from a person who eventually says, “Hey, baby, you sound like a ball. Let’s have steak Saturday.” Do you leave your credit card at home? – And what, if so, do you do if Deep Thoat says “no” when the waiter asks if you’ll share the tab? Screaming and waiving your hands, “I wasn’t the one who asked for this, I wasn’t the one who asked for this!” > > You bring you own money to the game and pay for it, boy or a girl. All else, I think we all are agree, is dumb. Or do we not agree (which is the “original” question)? Your original question was why it is expected that the man should pay. Many people in the thread have said it is not expected, that there are alternatives like whoever asks pays. Then you are incredulous about that?! I don’t get it. But yeah, hypothetically if I (a woman) am hanging out with a guy and he says “do you want to get a burger Thursday?” I would consider that him being the asker and I wouldn’t mind if he paid. I would still bring money and offer to pay for my share and wouldn’t be offended if he took me up on it. Maybe it’s the casual way things are offered. “May I take you out to dinner this Friday?” is more formal and to me implies the asker will definitely pay. But that seems more old-fashioned than the casual/no big deal “We should get together for a meal sometime”, which leaves things more ambiguous. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2017, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668/60 "2017-07-21T22:50:35Z")
> [@Wakinyan](#): > > I don’t get this. Is it actually so? Yes, on dates. Or you agree to go dutch. When friends are getting together to catch up I don’t think it’s nearly as formal. > [@Wakinyan](#): > > You bring you own money to the game and pay for it, boy or a girl. All else, I think we all are agree, is dumb. Or do we not agree (which is the “original” question)? As several folks have posted in this thread, no, we don’t all agree. There are some well established social conventions that may or may not make sense in today’s age but still persist. They’re unlikely to change overnight, or ever completely disappear. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-why-are-you-paying-for-the-date-women-why-do-you-accept-it/791668.md?page=4)