# Men, women, and the word "cute" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 25, 2008, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194 "2008-06-25T16:29:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Myself](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8491ac/32.png) [@Myself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myself)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/21 "2008-06-25T21:09:44Z")
‘Cute’ applies to [kittens](http://kittenwar.com/) , [puppies](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.hot-screensaver.com/wp-myimages/adorable-puppies.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.hot-screensaver.com/2007/05/21/very-cute-puppies/&h=306&w=460&sz=8&tbnid=9hPiWl4GClIJ::&tbnh=85&tbnw=128&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dpuppies%2B&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=1&ct=image&cd=1) and kids…[when they’re asleep.](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://images.jupiterimages.com/common/detail/09/29/22582909.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.jupiterimages.com/itemDetail.aspx%3FitemID%3D22582909&h=250&w=167&sz=8&hl=en&start=266&tbnid=xcsD-I5MeO4xgM:&tbnh=111&tbnw=74&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtoddler%2Basleep%26start%3D260%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D20%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN). Remarks can be cute…[when they come from a kid.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDI6GuAyo94) Other use of the word ‘cute’ usually come as a placeholder for a more accurate term. It’s a sign of a poor vocabulary. ---
**Author:** ![BrknButterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/439d5e/32.png) [@BrknButterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrknButterfly)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/22 "2008-06-25T21:47:35Z")
Female. Cute, to me, means reject able. Generic. If a woman showed a guy her picture or met a guy and if it was asked if he was attracted to her… if he said, “oh, you’re cute”… To me means, “I’m not sexually or physically attracted to you at all, but I am going to try to be nice without hurting your feelings.” If I say it to a guy… generally I mean that I am attracted to him,. He’s cute. Not ugly, not hot. Just… eh. Cute. Though I think guys use it more as an “out” of a question that could get ugly. ---
**Author:** ![Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bc8723/32.png) [@Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/23 "2008-06-25T22:00:24Z")
Wait a minute, you use it to mean “I’m attracted” but you don’t expect guys to mean it the same way? What word do you _expect_ guys to use? ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/24 "2008-06-25T22:04:33Z")
Isn’t it true, especially when women say it, that they may be referring to a guy’s behavior? The guy could be the elephant man but if he does something or says something funny, a woman might say he’s cute, meaning the way he acts is cute. Once I stumbled across the story of the Tower of Babel. To refresh my memory, I have consulted (what else?) Wikipedia: _According to the biblical account, Babel was a city that united humanity, all speaking a single language and migrating from the east._ and _The people decided their city should have a tower so immense that it would have “its top in the heavens.” (וְרֹאשׁוֹ בַשָּׁמַיִם). However, the Tower of Babel was not built for the worship and praise of God, but was dedicated to false man-made religion[citation needed], with a motive of making a ‘name’ for the builders - Genesis 11:4. God seeing what the people were doing, confused their languages and scattered the people throughout the earth._ > **[Tower of Babel](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tower_of_Babel#Height_of_the_tower)** > > The Tower of Babel (Hebrew: .mw-parser-output .script-hebrew,.mw-parser-output .script-Hebr{font-family:"SBL Hebrew","SBL BibLit","Taamey Ashkenaz","Taamey Frank CLM","Frank Ruehl CLM","Ezra SIL","Ezra SIL SR","Keter Aram Tsova","Taamey David CLM","Keter YG","Shofar","David CLM","Hadasim CLM","Simple CLM","Nachlieli",Cardo,Alef,"Noto Serif Hebrew","Noto Sans Hebrew","David Libre",David,"Times New Roman",Gisha,Arial,FreeSerif,FreeSans}מִגְדַּל בָּבֶל‎, Mīgdal Bāḇel) narrative in Genesis 11:1–9 ... I heard that this was the origin of our term “babble.” But being a diligent doper I had to look on line for the etymology: babble \*1230, babeln “to prattle,” akin to other Western European words for stammering and prattling (cf. Swed. babbla, Fr. babiller) attested from the same era, some of which were probably borrowed, but etymologists cannot now determine which were original. Probably imitative of baby-talk, in any case (cf. L. babulus, Gk. barbaros). “No direct connexion with Babel can be traced; though association with that may have affected the senses” [OED]. Meaning “to repeat oneself incoherently, speak foolishly” is attested from c.1418. \* At any rate, we’ll never get back to one language. We might adopt one, but IMO men and women will ALWAYS speak a different language, even if they use the same words. ---
**Author:** ![BrknButterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/439d5e/32.png) [@BrknButterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrknButterfly)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/25 "2008-06-25T22:07:25Z")
[QUOTE=Fish] Wait a minute, you use it to mean “I’m attracted” but you don’t expect guys to mean it the same way? What word do you _expect_ guys to use? [/QUOTE] How about, “You are hot.” or “Damn, girl you are fine..” or Beautiful. I really like Beautiful. Generally when I talk to guys and I think they are really attractive I use Hawt.. or fine. Sexy.. Cute would be the last word I would use. I dunno. I just don’t like it. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/26 "2008-06-25T22:18:26Z")
Isn’t it better to compliment with specifics? “That dress looks great on you!” or “Wow, that hair style really brings out your eyes!” One word compliments (as this thread shows) are open to (mis)interpretation. She was just starting to dig you and then you called her “hot,” but she recently broke up with some douchebag who used that word to get her attention, so you’re associated with him. I’d think ‘She looks beautiful,’ but then ask myself why I think that and say the specific reason. JMO YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/27 "2008-06-25T22:35:50Z")
[QUOTE=Jayn\_Newell] When talking about guys, ‘cute’ and ‘hot’ are, if not synonymous, at least closely related. [/QUOTE] True, but sometimes cute means childlike in guys too. As I told friends while out drinking one night “You know, Fred’s really cute. But I don’t mean he’s attractive. He’s cute like a puppy or overgrown four-year-old. Really, he’s adorable!” Then they made me promise to never tell him that 😛 Guys, if a lot of people mistake you for a kid (you still get carded to see R rated movies), then women calling you cute don’t mean they’re attracted to you, sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Algorithm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/algorithm/32/12204_2.png) [@Algorithm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algorithm)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/28 "2008-06-25T22:50:24Z")
[QUOTE=tomndebb] For guys, cute nearly always includes an element of the diminutive along with attractiveness. (The references to babies, above, are indicative of that usage.) When used of women, it can mean that the woman is small or that the woman evokes attitudes of protectiveness, regardless of size, but it would be unlikely to hear it said of an Amazon.) [/QUOTE] Once I stopped and thought about it, I realized size is a factor in my use. I only use “cute” to describe an attractive woman who is also skinny and six or more inches shorter than me. I think attitude has something to do with it to, having a particular hobby can be cute, liking specific songs and singing along in the car can be cute, speech inflections can be cute… the list goes on. I’ve had women refer to some of my behavioral traits as “cute” and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It all depends on context - I could see it being demeaning or insulting but it’s never come up in such a way. If/when I find myself interacting with children more regularly, I’ll probably stop using the word to refer to sexual attraction. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/29 "2008-06-25T23:03:17Z")
[QUOTE=BrknButterfly] Cute, to me, means reject able. Generic. If a woman showed a guy her picture or met a guy and if it was asked if he was attracted to her.. if he said, “oh, you’re cute”.. To me means, “I’m not sexually or physically attracted to you at all, but I am going to try to be nice without hurting your feelings.” [/QUOTE] See my post above. **Memo to the women of the Straight Dope Message Board:** If I call you “cute” it is a major compliment. It is an innate beauty; not the product of hair salons, makeup, slinky dresses or high heels. It means you are sexy without even trying. In a nod to my adopted home, the only thing above that is “wicked cute”. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/30 "2008-06-25T23:26:58Z")
I’m a guy. When I describe a woman as cute, it definitely means I feel attraction. I would not use it as a polite way of expressing no interest. For that I would say something like “yeah, she’s fairly good-looking.” For me, _cute_ means attractive in an exciting, fun way; _beautiful_ means attractive in a stunning, powerful way. In both cases there is a strong sexual component. Want celebrity examples? Here: Rachel Weisz is cute. Halle Berry is beautiful. Both of the above ladies are hot. Pamela Anderson? Yeah, she’s fairly good-looking. ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2008, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/31 "2008-06-25T23:55:22Z")
[QUOTE=Bosstone] [Jewel Staite](http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3687815424/nm0821612) is cute…[Morena Baccarin](http://www.imdb.com/media/rm801151232/nm1072555) is sexy. [/QUOTE] As soon as I read the OP I was thinking of illustrative examples and Kaylee and Inara were the first two that came to mind in exactly the same way as you said. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/32 "2008-06-26T00:01:24Z")
[QUOTE=lobotomyboy63] E.g. if you put Traylor Howard into the right clothes, she’d transform from cute to hot. [/QUOTE] You mean she’d be hot if she were in something OTHER than a blue V-neck sweater through which you can see just a hint of nipple? Son, you need to see a doctor. She’s ALWAYS cute and hot. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/33 "2008-06-26T00:15:37Z")
[QUOTE=Turek] You mean she’d be hot if she were in something OTHER than a blue V-neck sweater through which you can see just a hint of nipple? Son, you need to see a doctor. She’s ALWAYS cute and hot. [/QUOTE] While I think the two things—cute AND hot—can co-exist, I wouldn’t say that picture qualifies. She isn’t glamming it up or pouting at the camera. JMO YMCV. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/34 "2008-06-26T00:28:58Z")
I think it’s all about context and how you say it. If your friend says she has a friend that you’d just love to date, shows you a picture, maybe you say, “Oh, she’s cute,” to maybe spare her feelings. It would be said in a falling tone. But “damn she’s cute” or even “ohh, she’s cute” (with a rising tone) to me anyway means exactly the same level of “I wanna get wit that” as “she’s hot” or “she’s sexy.” It’s just a different kind of attractiveness, no more or less sexual than any of the others in the same context. The real issue is that hot and sexy aren’t associated with other feelings. You don’t call puppies sexy or children and flowers hot (“damn Brugmansia x insignis, you is looking all up in that fine. Whyn’t you take off some a them leaves!”). But you’d better believe that the sexual magnetism of cute is just as powerful as the other adjectives. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/35 "2008-06-26T00:34:53Z")
I think what most men wants is a woman who is all three at different times. But, many women are mostly one of the three with occasional spurts (ahem!) of the others. I’d venture to say that maintenance levels correlate, in mature women. Cute-girl next door, reasonably low maintenance. Beautiful-admired by many, expects more from a guy. Hot-Is proactively selling her appeal and will expect the most. ---
**Author:** ![Yookeroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yookeroo/32/323_2.png) [@Yookeroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yookeroo)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/36 "2008-06-26T03:15:10Z")
“Cute” almost always means “I’d like to fuck you”. Weird how so many girls don’t understand this. ---
**Author:** ![lobotomyboy63](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobotomyboy63/32/2900_2.png) [@lobotomyboy63](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lobotomyboy63)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/37 "2008-06-26T03:18:10Z")
[QUOTE=Yookeroo] “Cute” almost always means “I’d like to fuck you”. Weird how so many girls don’t understand this. [/QUOTE] Back up the truck here. It isn’t like all the men are holding out for “beautiful” or “hot.” For some men, “You have a pulse” is enough. ---
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/38 "2008-06-26T03:31:51Z")
[QUOTE=elfkin477] True, but sometimes cute means childlike in guys too. As I told friends while out drinking one night “You know, Fred’s really cute. But I don’t mean he’s attractive. He’s cute like a puppy or overgrown four-year-old. Really, he’s adorable!” Then they made me promise to never tell him that 😛 Guys, if a lot of people mistake you for a kid (you still get carded to see R rated movies), then women calling you cute don’t mean they’re attracted to you, sorry. [/QUOTE] I’m looking at your location, but it says New Hampshire, so apparently I don’t know you… ---
**Author:** ![gravitycrash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@gravitycrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gravitycrash)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/39 "2008-06-26T04:52:40Z")
I have no idea why some women find cute is offensive but they do. I have been given the evil eye more than once. I’m going to attempt to define terms as a male when it comes to actresses. Katie Holmes- cute Michelle Pfeiffer - sexy Milf Tina Fey - nerdy and pretty Catherine Zeta Jones - Beautiful Jennifer Anniston - pretty/sexy Angelina Jolie - hot This is off the top of my head. Women can be described in so many different ways. Cute is certainly not a bad thing. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2008, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194/40 "2008-06-26T05:22:50Z")
A bit of background might bolster my opinion here. I’m a woman and was a teen in the 70s. Back then, at least in our neck of the woods, cute meant that you thought the other person was attractive, but attractive with an interchangeable and wide variety of sub-meanings if you will. Hot or Sexually attractive, Adorable in an irresistibly fun way Good looking Witty etc. I do remember the whole “Cute Marie. REeeeal Cute” thing from the Donny and Marie show, maybe that’s where it all went wrong? I don’t mind being called cute. Waaaay back a boyfriend and I even had sayings about cute being better than beautiful, because cute is all the way through and it lasts" or some silly nonsense. What? 😃 I was 20something. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/men-women-and-the-word-cute/454194.md?page=3)